The Unraveling (New 11/17)

[Bucket]

Thank you so much once again for the constant stream of new chapters! It's so wonderful getting such astonishing chapters so often! Will read chapter 33, 34 and 35 towards the end of the week.

I cannot wait to hear your thoughts on them!

Will do.

I find that reading one chapter at a time just doesn't do the trick. It's not quite as satisfying, so I always like to wait for a few then binge read it. That's why I'm always so greatful for your constant updates.

Expect a long review. ☺

[Bucket]

Now, you asked for more suggestions. I personally think that later on in the story Riley's girlfriends should get some sort of monatery compensation for all their hard work. After all, they plan and organize all those nice tasks for Riley, so is the idea of maybe profiting off of it so far-fetched?

Maybe they put the content of their actions up for sale on the internet. Put up a website for Riley; people could visit and pay money to get access to pictures and videos. Maybe they should ask for a small fee each time they find someone that uses Riley's helpless situation to their advantage, if you know what I mean...

Well a sort of OnlyFans for Riley isn’t a bad idea. Good bring a lot of bucks

I’ve been thinking a lot about the website idea and I really like it! I’m trying to think of a way to implement it where the girls still hold power over Riley. I feel like by them posting photos of her for anyway to view online, it takes away some of the threat of them sending people photos. I really love the idea, just trying to think through the best way to do it!

I saw this a while back and wanted to comment, but completely forgot about it, so just wanted to add some of my oil to the pan to see if it cooks.

(Yes, I just made that up, and yes that was moronic, but I have no regrets)

I actually quite like the idea of an OnlyFans profile for Riley made against her will, but you'd have to be incredibly cautious about the approach you take.

On one hand, the way I see it, the girls (excluding Lily, as she's a sweetheart and seems to genuinely care a lot about Riley) are a bit cruel to Riley and have essentially turned her into an extremely submissive sex slave without the sex, (exactly like we like it) but I do feel like the girls do care about her, albeit in their own twisted way.

On the other hand, if the girls start posting graphic pictures of Riley on the net against her will, it could drastically alter the way we view the girls. They'd then be viewed as very cruel, horrible people with no regard whatsoever about Riley's mental health or wellbeing.

I do believe you could make it work though. I do.

Ideally, you'd want the girl's humanity remain in tact, at least to a certain degree. Again, the girls may be Riley's tormentors, but I do believe they care about her in their own strange way. Imo, it's better that way. That's not to say that they should go soft on Riley. Hell no they shouldn't. Keep the kinky torment coming! It's just if they post extremely graphic pics of the poor girl online where people can see her identity, that'd be pretty much crossing the line morally speaking and it'd show they don't care about Riley, which isn't ideal.

But yeah, like I say, I do feel like you could make it work.

If they did post pics of Riley online, (and still have absolute control of her) they could perhaps start a Riley OnlyFans profile and start posting increasingly graphic pics of her, but they blur her face out, and no-one knows it's Riley, and Riley never finds out about the profile.

The girls could even use the profits to buy Riley "nice things" such as vibrators/remote vibrators or vibrating panties, (still would absolutely love to see Riley get stimulated heavily in crowded, public settings with a remote vibrator inserted or vibrating underwear) and nice, sexy clothing for her.

For sure you could make it work, but I'd suggest finding that balance between the girls caring about her in their own way and not being too cruel, and posting pictures of Riley that she'd absolutely die if she found out were on the net.

I certainly trust your judgement though, so do whatever you feel is right.

[Bucket]

Review(s) of the latest chapters incoming tomorrow.

Fair warning: It's astronomically large, as well as mammothly enormous. I've read most of it, but annoyingly, I didn't have the time I thought I would to read it all. Will finish on the morrow.

As it's quite...elaborate, would it be preferable to post it in one, mind meltingly long post, or break it into three parts? I'm thinking three parts.

Either way, it should take about a month to read.

[Emily]

Review(s) of the latest chapters incoming tomorrow.

Fair warning: It's astronomically large, as well as mammothly enormous. I've read most of it, but annoyingly, I didn't have the time I thought I would to read it all. Will finish on the morrow.

As it's quite...elaborate, would it be preferable to post it in one, mind meltingly long post, or break it into three parts? I'm thinking three parts.

Either way, it should take about a month to read.

I always figured people would prefer longer chapters to be able to be better engrossed in the story. I try to write the chapters like a novel, and I know when reading a novel I prefer longer chapters.

I’d love to hear some more opinions about this.
If I do shorter chapters, they will likely come out at the same rate as the longer ones, but definitely open to the idea.

[Bucket]

Review(s) of the latest chapters incoming tomorrow.

Fair warning: It's astronomically large, as well as mammothly enormous. I've read most of it, but annoyingly, I didn't have the time I thought I would to read it all. Will finish on the morrow.

As it's quite...elaborate, would it be preferable to post it in one, mind meltingly long post, or break it into three parts? I'm thinking three parts.

Either way, it should take about a month to read.

I always figured people would prefer longer chapters to be able to be better engrossed in the story. I try to write the chapters like a novel, and I know when reading a novel I prefer longer chapters.

I’d love to hear some more opinions about this.
If I do shorter chapters, they will likely come out at the same rate as the longer ones, but definitely open to the idea.

No no, I didn't mean your chapters are too long.

They most certainly are not too long. If anything, longer chapters would be better, but considering that you give us new chapters so regularly, the length of the chapters are perfect. That's why I read 3 chapters at a time, to get more engrossed. Please don't shorten them.

I meant that my review is astronomically long. I have a lot of it written, and have since tried to trim it down I a bit so that it's tolerably long.

[Emily]

Review(s) of the latest chapters incoming tomorrow.

Fair warning: It's astronomically large, as well as mammothly enormous. I've read most of it, but annoyingly, I didn't have the time I thought I would to read it all. Will finish on the morrow.

As it's quite...elaborate, would it be preferable to post it in one, mind meltingly long post, or break it into three parts? I'm thinking three parts.

Either way, it should take about a month to read.

I always figured people would prefer longer chapters to be able to be better engrossed in the story. I try to write the chapters like a novel, and I know when reading a novel I prefer longer chapters.

I’d love to hear some more opinions about this.
If I do shorter chapters, they will likely come out at the same rate as the longer ones, but definitely open to the idea.

No no, I didn't mean your chapters are too long.

They most certainly are not too long. If anything, longer chapters would be better, but considering that you give us new chapters so regularly, the length of the chapters are perfect. That's why I read 3 chapters at a time, to get more engrossed. Please don't shorten them.

I meant that my review is astronomically long. I have a lot of it written, and have since tried to trim it down I a bit so that it's tolerably long.

Ahhhh that makes sense!
I’m definitely looking forward to reading the review!

[Bucket]

Yup, ok so spoiler alert: I absolutely freaking love everything about this story!

Seriously, I cannot stress enough just how breathtaking this story is! Awe inspiring. Sensational, and all sorts of other superlatives. This is literally the perfect story, and there's not a damn thing I'd change. I'll get into it in More detail in a moment, but the thing I loved most about the latest chapters is it emphasises just how tiny Riley is. Big fan of that!

Overall, the latest chapters were all perfect! Absolute perfection.

Of course, I've now read all of the latest chapters, but everything from hereon out will be my review that I wrote in Notes as I was reading, so you'll hear my though as the story progressed and I'm just for the most part copying and pasting that, with a hint of ad-libbing:


Chapter 33 review

I love short, petit girls with small breasts, so this paragraph right here was outstanding and would be brilliant if you made an emphasis on how tiny Riley is more often:

"Aria's gaze fell to Riley's chest, a smirk playing on her lips. "It's cute, really," she said, reaching out to poke at one of Riley's breasts. "So... barely there. It's like a teaser for what's not to come"

Speaking of height, did you ever specify Riley's height? I know you made clear early on that she is small. There really is no such thing as too short imo. Unless maybe she is under 4'5. Ambiguity is fine too though.

Really enjoyed every moment between Riley and Lily. The way they rely on each each other for moral support and comfort will always make for a great read, and I LOVE the way Lily subtly flirted with Riley. Or at the very least expressed her admiration. I'm going to stick with flirting in my head lol.

I have to be honest and say that I would have preferred that Lily didn't have the "no orgasms" rule that Riley has, simply because I prefer Riley to be the one with the harshest and most embarrassing rules, but I will say that it still works well, and it's fun to think that Lily is also constantly horny.

Bikini steal was brilliant, and I really love this sentence:  " Riley's eyes widened further, and she gave Claire a pleading look that was both desperate and hopeful"   Its so simple yet so effective. The sort of "begging with her eyes". More of that please.

I also like how Riley apologised to Lily. It was a small detail, but shows that she cares about her and seriously doesn't want to to do this to Lily. Genuine remorse that she had to embarrass her like that. That was a nice touch.

LOVE how deeply embarrassed Riley was at her public edging and the "please not here" plea, as well as the fact that she lost again - brilliant. I will always advocate for that. Also love how she was actually too shy/embarrassed initially to be able to get herself off.

And my God, Riley trying to cum from rubbing herself on the stair pole and not being able to was mind bogglingly hot! Her begging, saying please, she needs to cum but being denied was really phenomenal.

Also, just to quickly add before I forget, I adore just how cute Riley is. Her personality and the way she acts and speaks. Cuteness is my favourite kind of beauty/attribute, and Riley has that in spades! That's why I immediately knew I was going to love Riley straight from chapter 1, yet she still manages to get cuter with each chapter, and her miniature size adds to that cuteness

That's actually how I see her in my minds eye. Small/petit and physically cute. Maybe a bit of a cute yet sexy hybrid. Kind of like an Arianna Grande type, only a little smaller.

Anyway, finally, I love how you ended the chapter with Lily consoling Riley, there being a smidge of that burgeoning love between the two of them that I so hope comes to fruition,  and It even had a hint of that mental health aspect that I've  talked about.  Loved everything about this chapter.

[Bucket]

Chapter 34 review

Wait... So did the girls get out of the pool naked/topless? Did they get their bikinis back before hand?   (Never mind, ignore this. It initially seemed like they were already out of the pool)

Anyway, I really liked this part for obvious reasons:

"Without thinking, Riley reached out and took Lily's hand, their fingers interlocking in a gesture of support"

Also loved this:

"The coolness of the concrete was a stark contrast to the warmth of the water, sending a shiver through her. She kept her eyes on the ground, unable to bear the thought of meeting the gaze of the small group"

That submissive body language that portrays the absolute submissive girl that Riley has become and is continuing to become more and more of is just perfect. Granted, I'm sure she acted that way more from sheer embarrassment, but still. Small details like that elevate the story even higher. Would love to see that become part of her natural behaviour, even when not exposed and vulnerable.

Loving every single thing going on between Riley and Lily and the onlookers whilst Lily is applying sunscreen. Literally everything is perfection. The toes curling was amazing too. You've also upped Riley's embarrassment significantly, making it clear she's deeply, deeply mortified yet severely aroused. Brilliance personified!

I LOVE the power dynamic going on between Riley and Lily! I've mentioned before that Lily being a bit submissive and bit exposed whilst Riley being incredibly submissive and incredibly exposed will always be preferable imo, so to see Riley completely nude while Lily is only topless is outstanding!

That scene in... I can't quite remember which chapter, but a while back when Riley and Lily were in the library and Riley had to get completely nude and masturbate to orgasm while Lily remained fully clothed (if I remember correctly) and watching Riley's performance was insanely hot. Would love to see more moments like that.

Pointing out that Lily's breasts are relatively small, but Riley envied them emphasises Riley's smaller breasts and is wonderful, because like I say, small/petit girl with very small (but proportionate) breasts is definitely preferable. I would say maybe it's just me, but then I have noticed that that does appear to be the general consensus throughout this site.

And then what do you do? You go and make it so much better with Ellie pointing out Riley's tininess and how small her pussy and very small chest is, thereby making her deep embarrassment ten times worse for her. It also gives us a better idea of of what Riley looks like. Perfection!

Would actually love it if you covered that more often and made an emphasis of her tininess. In fact, it'd be phenomenal if you use that as another means of controlling her. The girls are much bigger, stronger and more physically imposing than Riley. You could use that. She becomes physically scared of them, so instead of just blackmail, they can also control her because she's genuinely terrified of them. Hell, even if she found out about the hypothetical OnlyFans site, she'd still be their sex slave (without the sex) simply because she's very intimidated by them, and of course it's now so much in her nature to be subservient.

Lily then standing up for Riley was excellent, really was what I wanted to see, showing that she is starting to care very much about Riley, which in turn makes Riley care that much more about Lily. Their bond is growing more each chapter. Love it all.

It also now gives Lily a bit of an aura of a protector of Riley somewhat. Not protector per se, but Riley will likely now see her as protective of her, which makes her feel a bit safer around Lily despite the torment. Makes Riley want to be around Lily more often, so love that.

I figured Lily would then get punished for her insolence though.

[Bucket]

Chapter 35 review

Once again you give us more of the Riley/Lily bond, and I really love the comment " You're beautiful, just the way you are". I was hoping for a "You think I'm beautiful?" from Riley, followed by her getting all flustered/blushing, but no worries whatsoever. Everything has been handled so unbelievely well so far.


And then there's the butt stuff.

I've been meaning to suggest you start giving us more "backdoor fun". It'd really, very much add even more fun and excitement, but then you go ahead and give us exactly that! Extraordinary! Literally everything about was brilliant!

The only reason I didn't mention it is because I leave so many comments, I almost feel like I'm being overbearing or obnoxiously enthusiastic. If I am, just let me know and I'll tone it down a notch or two lol.

Anyway, the insertion scene and everything that ensues from there is ridiculously hot. (See what I did there? Ice. Hot... No? I'll stop) The ice cube falling out of Lily was not only fun, but actually quite humorous.

Riley announcing that she's done and the girls say to her "prove it" is outrageously erotic! More of that kind of thing please! And then Ellie fingering Riley's anus? My word that's staggeringly hot as hell!

I know I've been harping on about Riley baring the vast brunt of the embarrassment, nudity and submission, (and I definitely stand by that) but I know that it was Darky's birthday wish to have Lily lose just once, so who am I to object to a birthday wish. No worries there.



* Future me here - At this point, I've now read the rest of the chapter, so I know what happens next, but instead of removing this next part, I'm going to leave it here, as it may give you a few ideas for a future chapter. I really like the following idea:



May I suggest involving Riley in Lily's punishment in some way? Riley has been edged into oblivion and back. Perhaps whatever the erotic punishment is, and because Riley is so monstrously, ravenously horny that a butterfly landing on her arm would just about be enough to set her off, she spontaneously cums so ludicrously hard in front of everyone without even being touched/minimal contact to all of the girls utter astonishment to the point where their jaws drop, just by the mere act of witnessing, or perhaps being involved in Lily's punishment.

You could do it so that Riley is so incredibly close to the edge that the moment that there's any sort of skin contact with Lily, even if it's merely chest to chest, front to front or even simply something like eye contact with Lily, she immediately knows she's in trouble and starts shaking and breathing erratically. She's trying DESPERATELY to suppress the incoming orgasm, but the more she tries, the more she trembles and her breathing is at a point where she's either going to have a panic attack or an enormous orgasm. Lily and the girls begin to notice.

Once she realises that it's too late, about half a second before climaxes, she draws in a deep, sharp gasp and squeals out a high pitch "OH MY GOD, PLEASE CAN I..." but before she can finish the sentence, the earthquake of an orgasm hits, leaving her audience completely speechless. Riley is then so deeply embarrassed that she just wants the ground to eat her up.

That also acts as a double whammy, as Riley didn't have permission to cum, so she therefore also has to be punished.

Just a suggestion.




* I wrote that before reading what Lily's punishment was, but yeah, just keeping it here so that perhaps it can be of some use. Obviously Lily has already been punished, so instead of Riley cumming during Lily's punishment, it could be used in another scene if you so choose to use any of this. Perhaps whilst they make out in front of the girls/an audience, or even in public with the most innocent of skin contact with Lily.

Speaking of Lily's punishment, I actually really enjoyed it. It was very well done, and Riley was still completely naked, so there was still a heavy emphasis on Riley's embarrassment and nudity as well, even during Lily's punishment. Excellently executed.

Overall, I freaking LOVE the new chapters! Everything about it is extraordinary!

I know I mentioned in an earlier post about a potential Riley OnlyFans page that you don't necessarily want the girls to cross the line with their cruelty, but I mean that in the sense that posting extremely lewd pictures of her without her consent would be a huge violation. Not of trust, although there is that too, but she would physically feel violated. (Again though, I love the idea and definitely think you can make it work so long as you find the right balance. Would be loads of fun if done well, and I absolutely trust you to do it impeccably)

In terms of cruelty when it comes to sexual/kinky torment, definitely keep that coming as much as possible as you have been. It'd be near impossible to make them too cruel in that regard whilst still having an underlying bit of care for Riley, unless they forced her to have sex with a guy of course. That'd be too much imo)

Lastly, just to reiterate, definitely don't want shorter chapters. Apologies for the confusion. The length of the chapters are perfect as is if it means we continue to get a constant stream of updates like you've been giving us. Of course longer chapters would be amazing, but I know you're not a machine, so it's better to get chapters more often than longer chapters but not as regularly.

Everything you're doing is perfect, so just keep doing what you do. You've written perfection, a I hope there are another hundred chapters or more to come lol!

So yeah, thank you again for this masterpiece, and I am, and I'm sure we all are so damn greatful for fast uploads of new chapters! Especially for me, waiting for 3 new chapters at a time before I read It, it means the wait for 3 chapters isn't particularly excruciating.

So very much appreciated! ❤

[Bucket]

Just wanted to quickly add one last suggestion (then I'll stop bombarding your story with comments for a little while, I swear lol) as I was going to mention it in my review(s) but didn't for whatever reason.

Something that'd be incredibly erotic to see is a scene where Riley, Lily and the girls are out in public, perhaps a mall or a crowded beach, and the girls tell Riley & Lily to kiss for 5 or so seconds in front of everyone. The two girls, although initially very flustered and embarrassed, start kissing.

But they get so lost in each other's lust that they end up passionately kissing. Like full on making out where they're all over each other, and it ends up lasting nearly a minute or so to the other girls/onlookers amazement. Could even lead to that potential spontaneous orgasm from Riley if you chose to use it.

Anyway, I'll stop for now.