I’m a naked girl... get me out of here!!! part 1 (12 Parts Posted)

[Revengedpirate]

“Welcome Zooey and Henal, to Critter Banquet. Please both of you take a seat at the table. Now Critter Banquet is quite straightforward. It’s an eating trial. We'll bring you each six meals. Each meal is worth two stars.” Said Louise.

“Seems straightforward enough.” Said Zooey sitting down.

“Right we’re going to start with Zooey, as she’s not done a trial yet. Zooey your first dish is fish eyes. You have to eat two eyes, each eye is worth one star.” Said Daniel.

Zooey looked at them and picked one up in her finger and thumb before placing it in her mouth. Zooey started to chew it. Zooey’s face screwed up as she chewed the disgusting fish eye.

She quickly swallowed it.

“Well done Zooey, that’s one star.” Said Louise.

Zooey picked the other one up and closed her eyes, before putting it in her mouth. Like the first it was quickly gone.

“Well done Zooey, that’s two stars.” Said Daniel.

“You’re turn Henal.” Said Louise.

“You’ve got fermented duck egg.” Said Daniel.

Henal looked at it and nearly gagged.

“You have to eat all of it.” Said Louise.

Henal carefully picked it up in her hand. Henal then stuffed half in her mouth, before spitting it back out choking.

“No way I can’t do it.” Said Henal.

“You would lose two stars.” Said Louise.

“Absolutely fine.” Said Henal washing her mouth out with the water provided.

“Your turn Zooey. It’s witchetty grub.” Said Daniel.

“You have to eat two. You bite the head off, and spit it out, then eat the rest.” Said Louise grimacing.

“Urgh yuck.” Said Henal.

Zooey however picked one up, bit off the head then swallowed it in one, before picking up the second and doing the same.

“Two stars really well done Zooey. That’s four all together now. What did it taste like?” Asked Daniel.

“It tasted disgusting like vomit.” Said Zooey.

“Funny you should say that, Henal your next dish is vomit fruit.” Said Louise.

“Urgh fine.” Said Henal.

She picked it up and started eating it normally.

“You only had to eat four slices.” Said Daniel.

Henal swallowed her mouthful and poked out her tongue.

“Yes we can see you like that. How did you manage to eat it like that?” Asked Louise.

“Oh I grew up in India, the servants used to bring it to us daily. I just got used to the taste.” Said Henal.

“Well that is your first two stars today well done.” Said Daniel.

“For your fifth and six stars Zooey you have blended pigs snout.” Said Louise.

“Oh man.” Said Zooey.

“You have to drink it all.” Said Daniel.

“You can’t be serious.” Said Zooey.

“Unfortunately that’s the rules.” Said Louise.

Zooey grabbed the glass and drank it in one, not coming up for air and trying her hardest not to breath in the revolting smell. Zooey put the empty glass back on the table. Then poked her tongue out.

“Great performance Zooey.” Said Daniel.

“Thanks. It tasted like pork scratchings.” Said Zooey.

“You’ve got six stars halfway through good going.” Said Louise.

“Henal, you’ve got blended Sheep’s testicles.” Said Daniel.

“You’ve got to be kidding me seriously but I don’t eat lamb.” Said Henal.

“Well the choice is yours either eat it or don’t. The latter loses two stars.” Said Louise.

“I’ll have to lose another two stars.” Said Henal.

“Ok then it’s six, two to Zooey.” Said Daniel.

“Right Zooey, you’re next dish is sheep’s brain.” Said Louise.

“Which part do i have to eat?” Asked Zooey.

“Just the two wedges on the cocktail sticks.” Said Daniel.

“Fine no problem.” Said Zooey.

Zooey picked up the first wedge and counted to five in her head before sticking it in her mouth, and pulling the empty stick back out. Zooey began to chew it as fast as she could. It was really chewy and took her a while before picking up the second piece.

Zooey picked up the second piece and started chewing, it took a while but finally swallowed it.

“Well done Zooey you’re doing brilliantly that’s eight stars.” Said Louise.

Zooey beamed.

“Right Henal, you’re next dish is blended cockroach.” Said Daniel.

“Urgh, where do you get these dishes from a bathroom floor?” Asked Henal.

“Henal you’re such a stuck up princess. You’re going to end up naked just because you won’t try new things. Why come on this show? You know these are what the trials will be like.” Said Zooey losing her patience with Henal.

“You eat your bugs, If you want, I was brought up better then this.” Said Henal.

“Fine if you’re going to be a baby about every dish, then I think you need some help.” Said Zooey.

Zooey got up from the table grabbed the drink from the table, and held it to Henal’s lips. Henal refused to open her mouth till Zooey grabbed her nose.

Zooey then forced the entire drink down Henal’s mouth. Henal gagged and spluttered but Zooey made sure Henal had every drop.

“There princess happy you are being fed now?” Asked Zooey.

Louise and Daniel both looked stunned at Zooey’s behaviour.

“Right folks were just going to an advertisement break but we’ll be right back after these messages.” Said Daniel.

“Urgh that tasted disgusting.” Said Henal choking.

“Well now at least you keep your modesty in tact.” Said Zooey.

“Actually Zooey, the producers have sent us to an advert break so we can relay onto you ground rules. They’ve decided that since you forced Henal to drink it. They’ve awarded you two extra stars and removed them from Henal. So Zooey you now have ten stars and Henal still has two.” Said Louise.

"But I drank the revolting stuff." Said Henal aggrieved.

"yes, but they count it as an assist. So Zooey, gets two stars for assisting. You Henal had to be forced. That's why." Said Louise.

“They’ve also said next one who forces an opponent to consume gets stripped naked and placed in the stock next to Amy for an entire day.” Said Daniel.

“Oh by the way neither of you are to refuse any more consumables without trying them first, or you’ll lose two items of clothing.” Said Louise.

Zooey and Henal both looked shocked.

“Ok I’ll follow the rules.” Said Zooey.

“Me too.” Said Henal.

“Good, but the fighting between you both was great for ratings. Keep that up.” Said Daniel.

“Wait a minute why is Amy in the stocks?” Asked Zooey.

“Well When Amy lost the trial yesterday that was her punishment. But gotta say Henal, great idea to remove her shorts and knickers. The viewers loved seeing her landing strip, genius.” Said Louise.

“Wait the viewers have seen Amy, stood in stocks, completely bottomless because of Henal?” Asked Zooey.

“Yes and completely live on tv right before this trial. AND Welcome back viewers.” Said Daniel shouting the word "And" to stop Zooey’s questions.

“You complete bitch Henal, you are so going down princess bitch.” Said Zooey.

“Bring it lapdog.” Said Henal.

“Your next dish Zooey, is ox tail.” Said Daniel.

“You have to eat the literal tip of an ox’s tail.” Said Louise.

“Fine.” Said Zooey.

She grabbed the cocktail stick, grabbed the meat with her teeth and pulled out the stick. She then swallowed it and poked out her tongue at Henal.

“Wow twelve stars Zooey, well done. Henal your next dish is ox tongue.” Said Daniel.

Henal picked it up tentatively before placing it gently in her mouth.

“Blergh blergh.” Said Zooey pretending to vomit and, making funny noises.

However it did the trick and Henal refused another dish.

“Another dish lost Henal. What a shame.” Said Louise.

Henal scowled at Zooey.

“Zooey, your next dish is crocodile vagina. You have to eat the entire vagina for your last two stars.” Said Daniel.

“Go on little Zooey. Eat pussy. Get your tongue in there.” Said Henal with spite.

“Fine I will.” Said Zooey.

She picked it up and started chewing it. It was tough and disgusting but Zooey finished it all.

“Well done Zooey, that’s a full house and two extra stars for feeding the little baby.” Said Louise.

“I’m not a baby.” Said Henal abashed.

“Prove it eat your next dish instead of skipping it.” Said Zooey.

“Fine pussy eater.” Said Henal.

“Henal your next dish is kangaroo penis. You have to eat the whole thing.” Said Daniel.

“Aww Henal you’ve gone green.” Laughed Zooey.

Henal picked it up and shoved it all in her mouth. She chewed it for two seconds before swallowing hard.

“There.” Said Henal.

“You cock gobbler.” Said Zooey.

“Well at least I don’t eat pussy bitch.” Said Henal.

Zooey got up and rushed at Henal, both girls started to fight and wrestle each other. Daniel and Louise rushed over. Daniel grabbed Henal’s hands and pulled her backwards, whilst Louise grabbed Zooey’s waist.

Zooey managed to scratch Henal’s face before being pulled back.

“Right both of you calm down now. Henal strip.” Said Louise.

“Right down to your shorts and T-shirt.” Said Daniel.

The two girls stopped fighting but just stared daggers at each other. Daniel and Louise released them, and Henal started to remove her clothes.

“Nice legs.” Said Zooey, as Henal stood in just her shorts and T-shirt.

“Right Zooey you won two stars off Henal. you can take two items discarded by Henal.” Said Louise.

“I’ll take her trousers and jumper, because it does get cold at night.” Said Zooey picking up the trousers and jumper.

“Right and because main camp beat Prison camp, each member of prison camp will lose two items of clothing each. Starting with Henal here.” Said Daniel.

“That’s not fair I’ll be in just my underwear.” Said Henal.

“Too bad you lost, that’s what happens.” Said Zooey gloating.

“Come on Henal.” Said Louise.

“Oh my god this is going to be so embarrassing.” Said Henal.

She lifted her T shirt above her head and dropped it to the floor.

“Oh my god you’re wearing a training bra.” Said Zooey in glee.

“Now your shorts.” Said Daniel.

“Oh come on please.” Said Henal.

“Off.” Said Louise.

Red faced, Henal pulled her shorts down revealing her Barbie girl panties. As she stepped out of her shorts and added the shorts to the pile of clothes.

“Aww your so cute wittle Henny.” Said Zooey in a mock baby voice.

“Ok Zooey you can go back to main camp. Down that path.” Said Daniel pointing.

“Henal you can go back to prison down that path. Oh when you get back there you’ll be swapping with Amy in the stocks.” Said Louise.

“No please, Amy will humiliate me.” Said Henal.

“Sounds like that would be great payback after what you did to her this morning.” Said Louise bitchily.

Henal covered her training bra and walked down the indicated path back to the prison.

[Revengedpirate]

“Hello Zooey Williams, and welcome to the bush telegram.” Said Rachel.

“Hello Rachel.” Said Zooey.

“You’re now the third different victor of a bush tucker trial, how did you find it?” Asked Rachel.

“I found the trial itself easy, the competition against Henal was the toughest part.” Said Zooey.

“Tell us about the rivalry between you and Henal.” Said Rachel.

“Well, Nikki is my friend, and she was upset being split from her sister. Finding out what Henal did was a shock, but I’m going to stick up for my friends sister no matter what.” Said Zooey.

“Well you can’t all win.” Said Rachel.

“No, but removing someone’s modesty like that is wrong. I stand up for my friends. I’m just sorry so many people saw her lose her modesty.” Said Zooey.

“Ok we have a few questions from our audience. What is your age?”asked Rachel.

“I’m 26.” Said Zooey.

“What hobbies do you have?” Asked Rachel.

I love water-skiing, windsurfing, and sailing. Basically I’m a water baby.” Said Zooey.

“Why was the food trial so easy for you?” Asked Rachel.

“Well whenever I’m on holiday or travelling for work, I always try the local cuisine no matter what, so I’m used to eating a whole range of strange things.” Said Zooey.

“Wow you must do a lot of travelling then.” Said Rachel.

“Yes I have. I’ve been to Hong Kong, Thailand, Australia, France, Egypt, America, and plenty of others.” Said Zooey.

“Well it’s been great chatting to you hopefully speak soon.” Said Rachel.

“Yes likewise. Bye for now.” Said Zooey.

Zooey walked down the steps back into main camp.

The scene at home changed to Laura and Michelle who were heading down to the dingo dollar challenge.

They walked into the clearing and read the note.

“Girls you have to use the costumes provided. Then one of you head into the little blue house whilst the other walks into the little red house. Then you’re to make both houses look identical to win the dollars.” Read Michelle.

“Right let’s get the costumes on.” Said Laura.

It took them a few minutes of hunting but eventually found the costumes. They were hidden outside each house in a green box attached to the houses wall. The girls put the costumes on.

“Hey I like these.” Said Michelle.

“I’ve always wanted to be scrappy doo. Let me at em, let me at em.” Laughed Laura.

“Well I make scooby doo look awesome. Scooby Dooby dooooo.” Yelled Michelle.

Both girls laughed.

“Let’s get started Scrappy.” Said Michelle.

“Ok Uncle scooby.” Said Laura.

The two girls walked into their separate houses. The insides of the Houses were massive, with objects everywhere. There were books, chairs, clocks, tables, drawers, desks. You name it, it was in there.

“Right can you hear me?” Asked Michelle.

Michelle didn’t get a reply.

“SCRAPPY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?” Shouted Michelle.

“ONLY JUST SCOOBY.” Laura shouted back.

“We’ll have to shout.” Shouted Michelle.

“I agree.” Shouted Laura.

“Ok, our strategy, will be this, we start from one corner and slowly make our way around the outer walls.” Shouted Michelle.

“Good plan.” Shouted Laura.

“Which wall are you facing?” Asked Michelle.

“The left hand wall.” Said Laura.

“Ok does it have a wooden desk next to it and a clock with a woodpecker on it?” Asked Michelle.

“Yes, do you have flowers on the desk too?” Asked Laura.

“No, I’ll put them on now.” Said Michelle.

The two girls worked well together and in no time at all, they had completed the challenge. The dingo dollars dropped from the ceiling in the little blue house. Michelle caught them.

“Let’s go to see Kiosk Katerina.” Said Laura.

“Ok Scrappy.” Said Michelle.

The two girls walked up to the shack, and read the board outside.

$100 nappies
$100 shaving foam

“Which should we get?” Asked Laura.

“Well we have the baby powder, which would go well with the nappies. Or the shaving foam which goes with nothing.” Said Michelle.

“Let’s take the nappies. I mean it’s extra clothes isn’t it.” Said Laura.

“Yes but I’m not wearing one.” Said Michelle.

Let’s take the nappies.” Said Laura.

“Ok.” Said Michelle.

They walked up to Katerina’s shack. They rang the bell and put the dollars on the desk.

“Nappies please Katerina.” Said Laura.

Katerina, picked up the phone and dialled camp.

Back in camp the phone box started to ring. Claire jumped up and ran to answer it.

“Hello, Claire speaking, how may I help you?” Asked Claire in a very posh voice.

“Hello Campmate. In the Harry Potter books, what is Harry seeking to destroy before Voldemort?” Said Katerina.

Claire repeated the question to her campmates.

“Has anyone read Harry Potter?” Asked Claire.

“No.” Said Nikki and Cheryl together.

“Well you’re in luck that I have, and the answer is horcruxes.” Said Zooey.

Claire repeated the answer down the phone. Katerina hung up, and passed the girls twelve nappies.

“Thank you.” Said Laura.

Michelle and Laura headed back to camp.

The scene on tv changed again.

We reappear in the prison. Amy is still bottomless in the stocks. Zoe Patel is still handcuffed to the fence opposite. Ashley is wandering around aimlessly, as is Polly and Emily.

“Please put my clothes back on Ashley, everyone has already seen me bottomless.” Said Amy.

“No Amy.” Said Emily.

Amy was completely red in the face and you could clearly see lines down her face from where she had cried in total shame.

Just then they saw Henal being pushed back into camp in just her Training bra and Barbie panties. Henal was bright red, and a scar was on her face from where Zooey had scratched her.

Henal and her two guards, brought Henal, over to the stocks. One took Amy’s shorts, whilst the other released Amy. Amy grabbed her knickers and put them on in an undignified manner. Amy now stood there in her jumper and, her love heart patterned panties.

The guards then locked Henal in the stocks.

“We need your Jumper.” One guard said to Amy.

“What why?” Asked Amy confused.

“Henal lost the trial, everyone in here has to forfeit two items of clothing. Henal has already lost hers.” Said the second guard.

Amy reluctantly took her jumper off and gave it to the guard. Now she stood in just her T and panties. The guard then went over to Zoe, who was still handcuffed to the fence. He uncuffed Zoe.

“Remove your tracksuit.” Said the guard.

Zoe did as she was told. The guard took her tracksuit. From Polly, Ashley and Emily they took their socks. The guards handcuffed Zoe and Amy.

“See you later.” Said the guard smirking.
The guards left the prison cell and locked the door.

“Henal you lost the trial?” Asked Emily.

“Yes.” Said Henal dejected.

“Nice training bra, why don’t you wear a normal bra?” Asked Polly.

“This is my normal bra, Polly.” Said Henal.

“So you lost us our clothes?” Asked Emily.

“Yes, I didn’t know losing the trial, would result in us losing clothes.” Said Henal.

“Henal, what did you think would happen?.” Said Emily.

“I don’t know, I’m sorry.” Begged Henal.

“It’s too late for Sorry.” Said Emily.

“No please Girls. I’m so very sorry please.” Said Henal.

“Hmm not so funny now roles are reversed.” Said Amy.

“No please, I’m sorry.” Begged Henal.

“How did it go again?, ah yes now I remember. Twinkle Twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are, up above the clouds so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle Twinkle little star now we see what you are.” Sang Amy.

Amy pulled the crying Henal's Barbie knickers down Henal’s spread legs.

“Nooooo.” Screamed Henal.

Henal was now stood there bottomless in just her bra. Her bare feet were shivering from the cold. Her toe nails were painted baby pink, her legs were bare, there wasn’t a single hair from her toes to her bra.

“Henal did you shave?” Asked Polly.

“What?” Asked Henal in tears.

“She can’t shave herself that bald, I mean she is completely hairless. Have you hit puberty yet?” Asked Ashley.

“Can you shut up about my hairless body.” Screamed Henal.

“I’ve got an idea.” Said Zoe.

She walked over to Henal in the stocks.

SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK

“Noooooooo.” Screamed Henal.

Henal started crying and her face was red as a tomato, as Zoe spanked her bare bum. The girls all laughed as they watched Zoe in just her shorts and T shirt spank the bottomless girl.

The cameras turned off.

“Hello and welcome to the fourth day here in camp. Yesterday, we saw the first girl, in her underwear. Surely today, we will see our first, completely naked girl?” Asked Louise Louise.

“Well let’s show you yesterday’s action roll the VT.” Said Daniel.

They cut to a VT showing all the action from the day before.

“We’re halfway through the first week, two and a half weeks to go. There will be more surprises today, I can’t wait.” Said Louise.

“Yes but back to today’s vote. Here’s the numbers you need from Main camp.

It’s 01 for Zooey Williams
03 for Laura
04 for Michelle
07 for Cheryl
08 for Claire, and
11 for Nikki.” Said Daniel.

“In the prison camp it’s,
02 for Ashley
05 for Henal
06 for Zoe Patel
09 for Polly
10 for Amy, and
12 for Emily.” Said Louise.

“So get voting now the lines close after this advertisement break.” Said Daniel.

The show went to an advertisement break.

“Welcome back folks. We’re going into the camps now to reveal the results.” Said Daniel.

You saw Daniel stroll into main camp.

“Hello campmates, I’m just waiting for Louise and we’ll start.” Said Daniel.

A few minutes later Daniel got impatient.

“Is Louise ready yet. Surely she doesn't have to fix her makeup again. What’s taking Louise so long?” Asked Daniel into his earpiece.

[Revengedpirate]

Hi all, I would like some feedback on this story. Whether it’s good or bad, it’s the first time I’ve tried a story like this and would absolutely love some feedback. Any ideas for improvements would also be welcome thanks

[Revengedpirate]

“Sorry Daniel, Louise is preoccupied, we’ll explain later, but for now, I’m here in prison camp.” Said Rachel.

“Ok, er, shall we give the results er Rachel?” Said Daniel flustered by this new arrangement.

“Yes let’s, I’m ready when you are.” Said Rachel.

“Ok in no particular order,

Nikki, it’s not you.” Said Daniel.

“Amy, it’s not you.” Said Rachel.

“Zooey Williams, it’s not you” said Daniel.

“Zoe Patel, it’s not you.” Said Rachel.

“Michelle, it might be you.” Said Daniel.

“Polly, it might be you.” Said Rachel.

“Claire, it’s not you.” Said Daniel.

“Emily, it’s not you.” Said Rachel.

“Laura, it’s not you,” said Daniel.

Henal , it’s not you,” said Rachel.

“Cheryl, it might be you.” Said Daniel.

“Ashley, it might be you.” Said Rachel.

“So in main camp it’s between Michelle and Cheryl.” Said Daniel.

“In prison camp it’s between Ashley and Polly.” Said Rachel.

“The girl facing today’s trial from main camp is, Michelle.” Said Daniel.

“The girl facing today’s trial from prison camp is Ashley.” Said Rachel.

“See both you girls in five minutes at the trial area.” Said Daniel.

The tv went into an advertisement break.

We reopen on the trial area. Daniel, Rachel, Michelle, Ashley, and another unknown girl.

“Hello folks, the producers today have decided on a total revamp of the show. They want to see more action. As such the trials are going to be more challenging and embarrassing then ever before. Also there is a third mystery camp. In which six new girls are fighting to keep their clothes.

They will be voting amongst themselves to see who does the trials. Even I don’t know who the six new girls are. So let’s introduce the first new girl. What’s your name?” Asked Daniel.

“Hi, I’m Tania Dixon, and I’m raring to go.” Said the new girl.

Tania Dixon is 5 feet 4 inches tall, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes.

“Right guys, this trial, is a maze you go through the maze, collecting stars as you go. There will be hidden obstacles and challenges.

You will be up against each other. There are 18 stars placed throughout the maze. Obviously there will be critters joining you. You all keep going till the claxon sounds.” Said Rachel.

“All understand the rules?” Asked Daniel.

The three girls nodded.

“Three, two, one.” Said Rachel.

HONK went the claxon.

The three girls all started from different entrances. Tania was first in and met with an ostrich. The star in this first chamber was around the ostriches neck. The ostrich did not look happy to see her.

Ashley crawled into her first chamber and was met with crabs. She crawled around looking for the stars. Before eventually spotting two tied on the small chamber wall.

Michelle was slowest to enter her first chamber, which was medium sized, in it was a load of koalas. There were two stars up a tree. Michelle was not the most athletic girl, and couldn’t climb up so she left the stars and moved onto her second chamber.

Tania walked cautiously up to the ostrich. It was at least six inches taller then her. She could just about reach it’s neck and slowly untied the star. It dropped into her hand. Tania then cautiously moved into her second chamber.

Ashley crawled over to her two stars and untied the two stars. It took her a while before moving into her second chamber.

Michelle’s second chamber contained crocodiles and there was two stars around two different crocs necks. Michelle carefully moved through the small crocs and removed both stars before going into her third Chamber.

Tania’s second chamber had some iguanas. She quickly found three stars tied to the wall. Quickly she untied them and added them to her bag, before going into her third chamber.

Ashley was met with rats and mice. She realised the stars were under them. She felt under the rats and mice until she found three stars were hidden in this chamber. Ashley then moved onto her third chamber.

In the third chamber, Michelle saw bats, again the stars were located near the top of the cage, but Michelle was lucky to reach them without climbing. She untied the two stars before going into the fourth chamber.

In the third chamber, Tania saw cockroaches and bugs, she crawled through them and found two more stars. She bagged them and moved into the fourth chamber.

In the third chamber, Ashley saw a wallaby, she chased after it and found a star in its pouch. She bagged it and was last into the fourth chamber.

In the fourth chamber, it was big and round, and all three contestants stared at each other.

“In this chamber you must fight each other for more stars, any clothes removed are lost and cannot be returned to their owner. You still have till the Claxon sounds.” Said Rachel.

Michelle and Tania ran at each other. Whilst Ashley snuck past them both back down Michelle’s tunnel.

Tania grabbed Michelle’s trousers, which fell to Michelle’s ankles tripping her up. Tania then pulled Michelle over her lap.

“No let me go.” Said Michelle.

“Give me your stars.” Said Tania.

“No.” Said Michelle.

“Well a spanking it is then.” Said Tania.

SMACK SMACK SMACK

Tania spanked Michelle on her shorts.

Meanwhile Ashley had gotten back to the koalas and climbed the tree.

Tania put her hand in Michelle’s bag and took three stars out of it.

Ashley grabbed the two stars in with the koalas as she did this.

HONK
The claxon sounded bringing the trial to an end.

All three girls left the maze.

“Wow you collected all 18 stars. Let’s see how many each of you got.” Said Daniel.

“One,” Said Michelle.

“Well done Michelle.” Said Rachel.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.” Said Tania.

“Well done, Tania.” Said Daniel.

“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.” Said Ashley.

“Well done Ashley.” Said Rachel.

“Michelle you lost the trial, but got two stars, you have to strip down to your underwear.” Said Rachel.

“Please no.” Begged Michelle.

“Would you like help?” Asked Daniel.

“No I can do it.” Said Michelle.

She took off her trousers, jumper, coat, hat, socks, and shoes. Before stopping again.

“Now your shorts and T.” Said Rachel.

“Fine.” Said Michelle.

She slid her shorts down her bare legs, then removed her T slowly making sure her chest was covered. Her panties had my little pony on them. Her bra was plain and white.

“Good now, Michelle you can head back to camp that way." Said Daniel pointing.

Michelle stormed off embarrassed and angry.

“Right Ashley, you won sixteen stars in total , as each star is worth two. We are returning your socks and shoes. You may take all of Michelle’s clothes too. Which gives you fourteen items of clothing.

You can choose a prison campmate to return two pieces of clothes to.” Said Rachel.

“I choose Amy, she’s already lost enough dignity.” Said Ashley.

“Ok Amy can have her shorts and jumper back.” Said Daniel.

“Now Tania, you got eighteen stars, which means you gain six items. But since your team has all their clothes you may take a team member from another team.” Said Rachel.

“I’ll take Ashley.” Said Tania.

“Right from tomorrow the trials end. Instead you’re fighting elimination. Three girls one from each camp go head to head to see who gets stripped first.” Said Daniel.

“Let the eliminations begin.” Said Rachel.

[tokaf]

I'm loving your story, can't wait for more!

[SDS]

Fun read so far!

My only critique would be to only have the photo links in the voting numbers or maybe as a footer or header to the posts so people can quickly look them up if they've forgotten whos who. It's just a bit distracting (For me anyway!) to have them in every mention of a persons name. Also it must be taking you ages to do that!

Keep it up!

SDS xx

[computerphoto]

Can't wait to see what happens next, and who wins in the end.

[computerphoto]

Yes please continue this and can't wait for the next part.

[ely]

I bet that’s the first time a camel has been seen in the jungle.

I think I'll use this phrase in real life from now on, replacing jungle with other settings. It's really funny abahahhaha

[Hooked6]

My only critique would be to only have the photo links in the voting numbers or maybe as a footer or header to the posts so people can quickly look them up if they've forgotten whos who. It's just a bit distracting (For me anyway!) to have them in every mention of a persons name. Also it must be taking you ages to do that!

SDS xx

AGREED. Very distracting to have all the blue links throughout the text. That said, I will readily admit that I much prefer to use my own imagination as to what the characters look like. For example I might have a favorite character(s) in the story only to find that seeing the author's idea of what she looks like totally ruins that ideal image that I created in my head that made the story fun for me. I know there are people that love seeing celebrity quality bodies or runway models as characters in a story so I suppose your attempt to please them by inserting images in the story might play to that desire, but if you are seeking feedback, at the very least reduce the number of times you link to them. It gets really, really annoying.

As I said in a previous discussion by another author, one of the things that makes READING so engaging is that the reader can use his/her own imagination. The better the author, the more vivid the scene is set in the mind's eye. If we wanted graphic images we can just wait until your story is made into a movie and let some director make my visual choices for me. Everyone's likes and dislikes are radically different so what may be awesome to one person kills the mood for another. Using one's own imagination allows EVERYBODY to win. By reading I can travel the far reaches of the world, meet the most beautiful people the Lord ever created, see sights I'd never have a chance to see in real life - all without leaving my house.

Just something to consider. Looking forward for more of your story.

Hooked6