Lia's new reality (Part 15 - 10/1)

[neverdoubted]

Congratulations on a well written story with good pacing and relatable characters! I like how you are willing to let good scenes play out and not rushing them. Beyond my standard author advice to "use dialog sparingly", my only specific feedback would be very minor. Try to avoid overusing phrases like "couldn't believe" as repeating them diminishes their impact.

I'm not sure how shy she can really be if she is already dancing topless at frat parties, but we'll chalk that up to the booze . From the title, I predict Lia's ordeal has the potential to grow far beyond merely an indefinite home punishment. But how far?

Kudos!
~ ND

[perseus]

Silly questions:

Is Lia on The Pill?

Is Lia's lack of impulse control worrisome enough to seek evaluation by a mental health care professional?

Did Lia have any friends other than the gruesome twosome who were exploiting Lia? Only three chapters but no mention of concerned friends visiting Lia. Her younger brother had a friend. Does her older brother have a girlfriend? Other than a pair of burglar wanna-be kids, why weren't there visitors?

It had been several weeks since the incident. No mention of being teased at school. Typical school rumor mills and a "mass frat boy arrest" would have made tongues wag even if Lia's name didn't come up.

Just a few silly questions. Hope these questions are helpful.

Not silly at all! These are really good question

First I'll just say that I had not considered Lia to be on the pill, but I also hadn't thought about it. The question of Lia's virtue will be answered at some point soon. She got out of control enough to to warrant this extreme punishment but she is still, in many ways, she is still native.

Without giving too much away, there is one person who recognizes her lack of impulse control and takes steps to get the rest on board with, let's call it "treatment." But no plans for a professional evaluation yet.

I had not focused too much on the last few weeks of school, it's true the the rumor mill would have spun up during that time, stacy and Kyle would have likely spread them themselves even. But when I started I hadn't considered the wider aspects of Lia's social life so I'll chalk the lack of it in the story so far to amateur writing. However it's safe to assume that any friends Lia did have before Stacy and Kyle were likely pushed away when Lia started to hang out with them. Adding future chapters where Lia reconnect with these friends and attempts to repair the relationship are definitely on my mind now. If she has clothes or not during these encounters is another matter....

Thank you for these questions! They were very helpful!

[perseus]

Congratulations on a well written story with good pacing and relatable characters! I like how you are willing to let good scenes play out and not rushing them. Beyond my standard author advice to "use dialog sparingly", my only specific feedback would be very minor. Try to avoid overusing phrases like "couldn't believe" as repeating them diminishes their impact.

I'm not sure how shy she can really be if she is already dancing topless at frat parties, but we'll chalk that up to the booze . From the title, I predict Lia's ordeal has the potential to grow far beyond merely an indefinite home punishment. But how far?

Kudos!
~ ND

Thank you so much! I'm very glad you are enjoying my story! The reception to it has been beyond what I could have wished for! After reading ENF for so many years I'm glad I could add to it, even if a little.

Thornwood was very influential in shaping my love for this genre, I loved how there was a group of people that worked to keep a girl naked. Although the situation is much different, I'm trying to capture a bit of that myself with this one.

Thank you for the advice as well! I could even see myself that I overused words like "shocked" and believe it or not, there was even more than there is now. I'll definitely keep this in mind as I go.

Dialogue is actually what I struggle with the most, I'm am working on trying to keep it only when necessary. For what I have planned in the next few chapters there is going to be more of it but I'll definitely start thinking of ways to get the info across in other ways.

Alcohol definitely played a big part in Lia's dancing topless, I'm hoping to convey that when her inhibitions get lowered, she makes poor decisions. I won't give too much away but what I'm basically going for is that Lia's mind and her body are on very different pages when it comes to being naked in front of others.

I have big plans for the future of her punishment, she can't stay at home forever

Thank you for your comment, I really enjoyed reading it.

And I'm really looking forward to the next chapter of Dare Me as well!

[student]

THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.

What was Mother Diana like when she was young--and stupid? Perhaps it was Daddy Steve. Or one of them could have had a troublesome sibling who had trouble controlling their impulse experienced a wild rollercoaster youth. Backstories are useful tools, used in moderation.

Did Diane impose strict a "properly dressed" home policy because in the past because a young Lia didn't like wearing her clothes? Steve seemed willing to strip down in the living room with Diane asked for his clothes so that she could do laundry. Controversial American photographer Sally Mann relates that young Sally hated clothes, shucked them whenever possible--as a young girl, she was only allowed to play with other children and meet adults when properly attired as part of Sally's socialization process. If Diane had been a wild hippy girl or practiced nudity before meeting her husband Steve, she would have had to have given up the practice for Steve's career. Some practices are at odds with a career in the criminal-justice system.

[student]

In my previous post I mixed up Steve (the dad) with Chuck (Lia's younger brother).

[perseus]

THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.

Another great comment!
Again I'll be honest that I hadn't given too much thought to the origins of Lia's behavior, be it her rule breaking or her exhibitionist tendencies. My thought with my first story was to try it keep it as simple as possible to keep myself from getting overwhelmed with it. Originally I planned for 5 chapters but it's going to be longer than that now, at this point I have no clue how long it's going to be, I'm just going to keep going till I run out of ideas I think. So it's a possibility that one or both of Lia's patients have passed down a trait to her.

To explain Chuck's willingness to stirp down in the living room is that since he's young he doesn't have the modesty level that Lia does. One thing that will come out in this story eventually is that I really like unfair treatment when it comes to nudity in ENF stories. I like the idea that two parents would punish their daughter with nudity but not their son. Unfairness might eventually become my calling card if I'm able to write more stories. So with that part you were referring to I wanted to show a bit of that unfairness, that Chuck is able to see Lia naked but she won't be able to see him naked.

[jojo12026]

Just wanted to say for a first story, this is great! I especially liked last chapter with Gil. Lia is seeing that this nudity thing isn't all bad.. maybe Chuck will learn what a little kindness will get him in the future....

[student]

It occurs to me that you can have a sequel story and end "Lia's New Reality" with the end of the school year.

You can title the next 9 to 13 weeks as "Blush or Sunburn--Lia's Bare Summer."

There's a lot to work with.

Senior brother Trevor's new school and the frat boys who were arrested when Lia was caught doing a topless table dance could be worked together somehow. The fraternity was how close to Lia's home? Will there be fallout for Trevor over the fraternity getting busted? Is Trevor going to join the same fraternity?

Then there's Daddy Steve and ADA Keller's DA election campaign. Is there a juvenile crime wave in town? Perhaps a radical program to turn around juvenile delinquents with an alternate program of public humiliation--with Lia being the poster child, the test case. Imagine Stacy (or was it Stacey?) and her gang having to attend school in their birthday suits because they're the juvenile crime wave.

What about Gil and Chuck and their sleepover? Part three of "Lia's New Reality" ended with Lia too orgasmed out to move as the front door opened. Mother Diane expected Lia to be naked. Trevor and Steve, not so much. Chuck: "Mommy said we could!" Is Diane with the boys when Steve and Trevor get home? Will Steve have a talk with Diane that results in Mommy joining Lia in her birthday suit? Or will Lia be all embarrassed and nobody cares?

Going into a second series of posts will also make navigating through Lia's story easier, just add a link to both stories so that they can be easily accessed from the other story.

[cradulich]

great story. can't wait for the next installment.

[computerphoto]

Another new rule should be if someone asks for her clothes she has to give them to them, if they want to keep them they can, if they want her to toss them in the trash she has to do it, if they tell her to give her her clothes away to people she has to do it it. So basically the rule should be she has to follow whatever she is told to do.