ROA: The Mythicall Adventures of the Eight Rings of the Raiment of Asmodeus, expecially the Orange Ring of Change

[DrWhoFanJ]

SECTION 5 — THOMAS BAINES, HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT, DENVER, COLORADO, USA (2019)

CHAPTER 1 — THE RING ARRIVES

Thomas Baines was just your ordinary high-school student: a decent circle of friends; never too unruly in class, but not much good in it either. There were only two main differences between him and the other boys in his class: he was still a virgin (albeit not entirely by choice), and he was wearing something he had just that very morning received a gift from a mysterious benefactor: a curious orange ring that kept making people’s clothes fall from their bodies.

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Earlier that day, while Thomas was getting ready for school, there came an urgent-sounding knock on the door.

“Mom, can you get the door‽” he shouted downstairs. No answer. Strange. tatarratat There it was again. “Mom! Get the door!” Still no answer. What is going on here? Faced with no real alternative, Tom headed downstairs to see what was causing all the fuss.

“Hello?” he called, worried. Nothing. Not a click, not a tick. Just the knocking. tatarratat Heading for the door, Tom took care to make sure his towel was tightly wrapped around the waist so his friends couldn’t remove it as an April Fool’s prank.

Opening the door, he asked “Hello?” one more time, just to be certain there wasn’t someone about to jump out at him. Still nothing.

Noticing a small yet ornate cardboard box on the doorstep, he kneeled to examine it. “For Tom. Use me well.” Curiouser and curiouser.

Taking the box inside, he ran back to his room to open it, so lost in thought that he didn’t even notice his towel fall to the ground as he shut the door.

Opening the box, he saw another note. “Do you have a specific person in mind for embarrassment, or are you just seeking general chaos and humiliation? Whichever it is, just put me on your finger and I will help you achieve it. This is getting bizarre.

Putting the orange ring on his finger (I’ve read about these things; they help embarrass people for sexual energy. Definitely what I need!), Tom suddenly got a rush of memories flooding into his brain, going so quickly he could only catch glimpses of people of all shapes, sizes, time periods, colours and genders being put in extraordinarily-humiliating poses.

Well? Anything take your fancy there? Or will I still get to experience new forms of humiliation unseen in over 4,000 years?

A plan already forming in his mind, Tom replied…

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 2 — WHO WILL TOM EXPOSE FIRST?

A plan already forming in his mind, Tom replied, “There is someone I especially want to see more than anyone else, but let’s start with the whole school first. I have a plan, and I think we’ll both enjoy it very much indeed.”

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Back in the classroom, Tom was intently watching the clock so he could strike just as the bell sounded for the end of third period and the start of lunch.

tick tick tick tick

brrriiiiinnnnnggggg

“OK, everyone; see y’all tomorrow,” said Mrs. Hodges, the least-popular teacher in a school where very few of them were even mildly so at all, “And don’t forget to revise for the test next week!” she finished, knowing full well none of her students were listening to her.

Now!

Suddenly, everyone’s clothes suddenly fell to the floor, several sizes too large for them (Tom having already loosened any ties gradually throughout the lesson so no-one would notice).

And let the confusion, panic and embarrassment begin.

“What the hell‽ Who the fuck did that‽” The cries and screams of the class were heavenly to Tom, who had come ever so slightly more prepared for the events. He obviously couldn’t leave himself unaffected by the sudden mass exposure, nor could he show his happiness at his plan having worked (so far), but he had carefully ensured that he would already be known as someone completely blasé about being on show like this, partly as a disguise, but also so people would come to him for help with sexual matters (his sideline at the college being an unofficial SexEd teacher), like Otis Milburn in that popular Netflix show with the next Doctor Who in it, except that he used it to get to see naked girls. No luck so far, though. Until today, that is.

The sea of naked bodies in the classroom desperately trying to escape, but knowing that would also mean more exposure, all froze so completely in indecision that hardly any of them even thought to cover themselves, giving Tom a perfect opportunity to capture mental images of every single person there, and even compare people against each other. Some of the boys were somehow still hard even after a long day of boring lessons (they must have been daydreaming porn; after all, why not? There’s nothing better to do here.), but most were still soft.

Tom’s attention was especially drawn, however, to the girls, and particularly to one specific one: Sitting at the back of the class, her legs still spread on the table in front of her, and so engrossed in her phone that she hadn’t even noticed anything untoward, sat the baddest bitch of the entire town, Cayce Kelsie Kelly, so renowned that everyone flocked to her for popularity. So it was no surprise that so many people in that class then turned to stare at her nether regions, hoping for even the briefest glimpse of the treasures within.

What no-one expected was to find that her lips were already wide open and positively dripping in fluids from her (previously-secret-to-all-but-her-closest-friends) pre-lunch jill. The collective effects of this were twofold: Every boy in the class went completely erect (with many even starting pulsing, and two particularly-unfortunate boys actually cumming on the spot), and Cayce finally noticing everyone else’s nudity.

“Wha…? What…? What’s happened? Why are you all naked? And staring at me?” Only then did she realise she was also exposed, and showing a lot more than anyone else. She quickly ran from the room and fled to the toilets to hide.

What will happen at lunch? How far will the collective nudity spread? Will anyone try and stop it? Will they succeed?

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 3 — SPOTTED DICK FOR LUNCH

“Spotted dick” is a traditional British steamed pudding, historically made with suet and dried fruit, often served with custard.

“Spotted dick” is also the squeals made by the hundreds of girls in the lunch hall once Tom had expanded his activities there, but only to the boys this time. (Always keep people guessing, after all!)

Amongst all the squealing girls and furiously-blushing boys (all desperately trying their hardest to cover themselves as well as possible despite the girls’ best efforts), Tom did notice one especially-interesting thing he felt compelled to ask the Ring to change about himself: While everyone else had enormous cocks (the smallest he could find looked like it was 15cm) that were hard basically all the time, his always struggled getting hard at all (let alone staying like that), and only measured a measly 10cm even in that state.

That night, he would instruct the Ring to fix those problems, but, for now, he had one last thing to do in the canteen: flip the nakedness.

Returning to the boys their clothes, he also shrunk those of the girls to an unusable size. Now it was the boys’ turn to guffaw at the exposed tits and pussies on display.

They also (for obvious reasons) found it harder to cover their most-private areas, so many of them simply made sure to hide their lower half and just let the upper halves be free. (They usually wore no bras, and shirts with such a low cleavage that most of the breast area was visible anyway, so it wasn’t much more revealing being actually naked there anyway.)

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Amidst all the chaos, only two people noticed the one person not being exposed by the chaos at the school: Tom himself, and his biggest crush: Jenny Flint. He was deliberately keeping her for savouring later.

[coolcurt86]

good name sounds familiar tho
but hey why not it works

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 4 — TOM AND JENNY

That afternoon, with the entire school on edge for an imminent mass stripping, was among the tensest the campus had ever been, even more so than a school-shooter-test day (at least those were scheduled!).

And yet, surprising everyone, absolutely nothing untoward happened for the rest of the day. Tom and his Ring had already sated their visual appetites for the day, and the tension only made it better for both of them.

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Later that day, as school was finishing for the day (the traditional buzz of conversations about overnight/evening plans having been replaced with a murmur of collective worry), Tom approached Jenny to discuss the events of the previous five hours.

“Hey, Jenny! How’re ya doin’? Weird day today, nah?”

“Oh, hey, Tom. Yeah, very weird. The weirdest part is that it completely missed me every time. Any idea why that might be?

Oh, and before I forget, I found a towel in your front garden this morning. I presume it’s yours? What were you doing outside with it, though?”

“Listen, Jen, I’ve got something to show you, but not in the corridor like this. Can we pop to a classroom or somewhere quiet to chat?”

A few minutes later, having finally found a quiet cupboard where they could discuss things together without the risk of interruptions.

“So, er, the reason I lost that towel this morning was that I found this Ring on the porch while I was mid-shower home alone, and, well, I must’ve gotten distracted by it enough that I stopped holding the towel around my waist and it must’ve landed outside without me noticing,” he explained, showing her the Ring on his finger as he spoke, “That’s what caused all the mayhem this afternoon.”

“That Ring? How? What? Sorry, start from the beginning again. I’m lost.”

And so Tom explained all the things that had happened since that morning (I won’t bore you with the details again; you’ve already read them!), with Jenny nodding with understanding every so often.

“So you’re saying that this Ring lets you change one thing into another thing for sexual pleasure purposes?” she asked, making sure she had understood correctly.

“Yes!” he replied, slightly exasperatedly.

“Prove it.”

“What‽”

“You heard me. Prove it. Make something in here smaller.”

“Hmmmm, OK. Ready? Watch.”

Focussing the Ring’s power in just the right place, Tom made Jenny’s shirt buckle open itself, letting her shirt fall and her breasts into the open air of the cupboard. Embarrassed at last, she quickly snapped her hands to hide them, but then decided that she could use this moment to admit something she’d always wanted to reveal.

“Tom, can we please go and use this Ring together in town tonight? As a date?”

Internally jumping for joy that his crush was asking him on a date, but externally keeping to a simpler smile, he answered: “I would love nothing more than to go on a date with you and expose whoever we want. But first, let’s consummate our new relationship in this cupboard. We’ve a few hours yet until our date, and I don’t want to leave your side for any of it!”

[Executionus]

But first, let’s consummate our new relationship in this cupboard.

Look I don't know if that's a British thing or not, but in America a cupboard is usually a really small storage unit (like under the kitchen sink). So as a result of that confusion, I just imagined Tom shrinking them both down to an inch tall to fit into a small cupboard in order to get it on in the middle of school undetected. And this thought amused me greatly.

[DrWhoFanJ]

EPILOGUES

Montu grew to be the new Pharaoh of a happy and prosperous Kingdom of Thebes, succeeded exclusively by his own children as enshrined in law by the First Council of the Montuan Era.

Using the Ring, Cæsar Nero successfully prevented all attacks against him via embarrassing any attackers; the Ring got sent to his Official Royal Vault upon his death, whereupon it was promptly found missing without trace.

Sam Swift the Quick grew to be the most feared outlaw in all of Christendom, with his magical powers to make his enemies clothes disappear entirely; he also became the richest by selling all those stolen clothes to the highest bidder at his frequent auctions.

Tom and Jenny lived happily ever after, with two sons and two daughters, and without the Ring that had brought them together. Their first date was a simple trip to the cinema to see the new DCEU movie, Joker.

And, finally, the conclusion for the Ring itself:
A few months later, a knock came on your humble storyteller’s door. Behind it, on the step (just like in Tom’s story), there lay a box. In the box was a note. Attached to the note was another box. In the second box was some wrapping paper. In the wrapping paper was a ring. And in the centre of the ring was a small orange jewel. All it wanted from me was to write what it could remember of its story before its power faded and either Uriel or Raphael could find it and destroy it, as they have long since done to all its brothers and sisters.

This was its story, and now my work is done.

THE END

[DrWhoFanJ]

But first, let’s consummate our new relationship in this cupboard.

Look I don't know if that's a British thing or not, but in America a cupboard is usually a really small storage unit (like under the kitchen sink). So as a result of that confusion, I just imagined Tom shrinking them both down to an inch tall to fit into a small cupboard in order to get it on in the middle of school undetected. And this thought amused me greatly.

Yeah, it is a British thing. I forgot you call them closets. But, if it improves the story’s humour level without impinging on the plot itself, then that can only be a boon!

[Executionus]

whereupon it was promptly found missing without trace.

That's gotta be the most Monty Pythonest line I've read in a very long time.

This story was definitely WAY different from all of the others, a complete theater of the absurd from start to finish. I quite enjoyed it. It'll be interesting to see how this comedic style affects the voting here in a few days.

[DrWhoFanJ]

ADDENDUM (metatextual humour)

So powerful was the Orange Ring of Change of the Raiment of Asmodeus that it was even capable of hacking the computer of one “Executionus” and forcing it to crash and lose a significant chunk of its data. This in turn prompted an unscheduled delay to the end of the competition of which this story is a part, and enabled the addition of this very addendum to the aforementioned story.