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Worse Than Shameful
Chapter 20. Art Project Ideas

The day was getting near for the Art Exhibition at my middle school. I had a laptop slide presentation to show my class, a series of photos
of nude statues and paintings by various famous European artists from centuries ago. The most famous of these ...

Thanks, I don't think it matters what ages I pick, I'll leave it up to the reader.
If you really need me to give numbers, I'd say 20 and 24 years old.



I think it is wiser to leave the ages blank. Saying you imagine them as being twenty and older, I think that ruins the image that most
readers ...

This little bit of male with male arousal, while main action is girl with boy, is intriguing.
It suggests at least one character can end up liking boys and girls. It does happen.

Can't wait to find out what happens at the school physical, and what happens at Barry's house.

Worse Than Shameful
Chapter 21. Eye Of the Beholder


The adjectives to describe my two brothers, as they trudged to the car to take the short drive to Dorthea's house, were glum, gloomy, sullen,
surly, and downright grumpy. It was late morning on Saturday, and we did get that invite to use the ...

I did notice the genital check comes first.
Any boy who gets an erection while behind the screen, will be forced to go through the rest of the medical check while the girls watch.

What is that screen made of, and how easily could it be knocked over?

My comments are not about disliking the story, just how the structure of writing could be better.

There are no paragraph breaks to separate different actions.
Multiple quotes from different characters are on the same line of script.
It all makes your story more difficult to read than it could be.

Very nice method of manipulation by the girls over the young males.
It had a realistic ending, with the two boys not being able to talk about what happened to them.
It seemed to me that Trent might have liked having his buddy give him a helping hand now n then.

I had never considered strap on dildo penetration before.
Several times I have read about teen girls teasing and tormenting a young male using a vibrator.
I have written about a girl who sometimes stuck a finger up her brother's butt, calling it "Mr. Wiggles". Such a teenage girl might end up
using ...

A first impression I like writing about is when a girl finds out the boy she sees for the first time is more developed than she suspected, a
pleasant surprise.

Since I would not have enjoyed being teased by girls about size, I rarely make my characters suffer through that.

I'm bumping this story because it concluded six weeks ago.

I know I'm not the only one hoping for something new. Please...Please...Pretty Please.