Tuck Your Shirt In!

[Robert Brooks]

Tuck your shirt in!

One day in year six, aged ten and eleven, we were having some sort of special assembly. Whatever the occasion was, it was slightly more formal than the usual day to day; I think parents were there too. Because of this, everyone had to wear the ‘smarter’ version of the uniform, which for boys meant a proper button-up shirt and tie. At my primary school you could normally choose which version of the uniform you wore: either the grey shirt and tie, or just a blue polo shirt. I always wore the shirt and tie, I just liked to, but most of the other boys usually went with the polo shirt. On this occasion, however, we all had to wear the ‘fancy’ uniform.

Seeing as this was how I dressed on a daily basis, I was quite used to looking ‘smart’ and keeping my shirt tucked in. A polo shirt looks fine untucked but a proper button-up shirt with a collar just looks scruffy if it isn’t tucked in. The boys who always wore the polo shirt clearly weren’t used to having to tuck their shirts in and knot a tie as most of them looked decidedly raggedy.

Before we headed to the assembly hall, still in the classroom, we were lined up and the neatness of our uniforms was checked. I of course passed without comment but some of the other boys were told to re-do their tie or tuck their shirt in.

Two places down the line from me our teacher stopped again, and a bemused smile flashed across her face. The boy in front of her had managed to do his tie okay, but he hadn’t tucked his shirt in properly. Note, I say properly. He had tucked it in, but not into his trousers as he should have done. You can imagine just how much hilarity and chaos it caused when our teacher, Miss Kelly, stepped in front of him, looked him up and down and, trying not to laugh, said…

“Um, Patrick… you’ve tucked your shirt into your pants.”

Laughter broke out up and down the line and lots of kids looked round or stepped forward, craning their necks to see.

Clearly embarrassed, Patrick hurriedly yanked his shirt out from the waistband of his underpants, then very carefully and meticulously set about tucking into his trousers, where it belonged. Stood so close to him, I was one of the few who could see it was a pair of white, cartoony briefs he was wearing, for the waistband was the narrow, crinkly kind that only briefs have and it was decorated with what appeared to be little alien characters — hardly the ‘coolest’ underwear for an eleven-year-old boy to be seen wearing. Either side of him were unfortunately two girls, Amy and Laura, who would have got an even clearer view of his pants than me!

Miss Kelly hurried along to the next person, telling us all to quieten down, leaving a very red-faced Patrick to finish adjusting his shirt. Inspection over, we were then marched to the assembly hall, where Patrick unfortunately ended up sat between the same two girls on our bench, since we walked to and entered the hall in single file.

About halfway through the assembly, just to tease him, I heard Laura whisper to him: “Your pants are still showing, Patrick.”

They weren’t, as he’d done a perfect job of tucking in his shirt the second time, but it was fun to watch him squirm about, hurriedly checking himself all around, running a hand around the back of his trousers to make sure she was lying. He looked very embarrassed and then very annoyed when he realised she was only teasing him.