Why does it embarrass you?

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Namb
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Why does it embarrass you?

Post by Namb »

As an adult, I’ve come to accept the human body as it is. It comes in two genders, many sizes and shapes and several attractive colors. The human body is not erotic in itself, but the things men and women do with their bodies can be very erotic.

I am also of the opinion that actions of themselves are not erotic, but the intention with which the action is done makes the act erotic.

So why would a pantsing be so erotic? Maybe the pants-er has the satisfaction of the power from literally pulling it off, but for the pants-ee it’s simple nudity not of their own making.

I suppose it would be embarrassing for the recipient if the person being pantsed is somehow ashamed of his or her own body.

My body is like my car: it’s old, has a lot of mileage on it, has scratches and dings all over it, but still runs good. I’m not ashamed of it. It has been seen a few times by people who normally would not have a reason to see it, but I weathered those events with humor.

However, I did not start life with a good self-image of my body. I was raised very strict Catholic and anything that had anything to do with sex was either regulated (the Church had strict rules on with whom, when and how and why you are allowed have sex) or it was an outright sin. We were taught to be exceptionally modest.

There was no way that you were allowed to expose your body to anyone else, especially a member of the opposite sex. As a boy masturbation was off the table and even having impure thoughts was a sin. Girls had it even worse, they were not allowed to dress or act in such a way so as to give boys “impure thoughts.”

If there is any brainwashing technique that would make children think that there is something bad about their bodies, the Catholic Church of the 1950’s probably had the best of them.

Up until school age, most children have a limited sense of modesty especially with siblings. I have a sister, but I can’t recall either of us seeing the other naked. Normal modesty kicks in around grade school and by the time puberty hits the modesty meter peaks. Children of that age (probably more girls than boys) have a difficult time accepting their changing bodies.

So, maybe this is why I have my stories set with characters in mostly middle school age. Old enough to be modest, but not so confident with their bodies that they can “blow it off.”
Imagination
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by Imagination »

For me, I guess it was embarrassing to be seen naked or exhilarating (embarrassing for them) to see someone else nude, because we've been told that it is embarrassing.

I know for me the reason I find a girl being embarrassed and naked so exciting is that the first time I saw a girl naked was in year 7 (so `11 yrs old) in school, way before sex entered the picture.

We were all in P.E. class and her friend came up behind her and pulled her shorts down in front of me and a few others. I remember watching with amazement when this girls shorts came down her legs and so did her panties!

The girl would have been embarrassed even if her panties had been seen by us but the look on her face was priceless as she looked down and screamed. I had seen her shorts and her panties get pulled down and got a view of this girl's untrimmed pussy, seeing her black pubes around her naked crotch. It was the first time I'd ever seen pubes, a pussy or even a girl's bare legs.

I remember how humiliated this girl looked when she noticed that she stood bottomless in front of us, and I loved how she panicked and scrambled to pull up her shorts and cover herself.

For me the embarrassment linked with the nudity I suppose.
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Executionus
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by Executionus »

I was a very unusual boy in a very unusual environment growing up. For whatever reason I always had some level of sexual attraction towards naked girls even at preschool ages. My daycare community had this huge culture around the battle between boys and girls with both sides trying to see members of the other gender nude while simultaneously keeping themselves unseen at all costs. Being seen naked was the ultimate "loss", even worse than being beat up.

The kids I grew up with all got into spying on people trying (usually failing) to see private skin and for most of us it stuck clear through high school. My next door neighbor girl used to lie and tell all of us boys that she saw our weiners without us seeing her looking at us. She never knew that she wound up being the first peer-aged girl I ever saw topless (loose tank, no bra, bending forward to play with toys across from me... for 10ish minutes of my secret bliss). It was almost like a game or a hunt, and to be seen was to lose. Being seen naked was shame incarnate.

When I got older I moved past any and all embarrassment related to my own nudity, especially when I became sexually active. That said, I still have a kink for the intensity of those younger moments when everything was scary, embarrassing, and unbearably enticing.
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Mariax
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by Mariax »

Honestly I like the control. I am far more attracted to embarrassing others these days than my own fantasies of being exposed when I was younger. In my high school and college years being exposed against my will was both my greatest fear and my greatest fantasy. Over time being the one forcing or pushing others into the situation became more appealing. I can have fun either in the dominant or submissive role, but the dominant side holds the major appeal for me these days.

For those reasons, while I can have fun with and get off to a good story about a willing exhibitionist, it is far more appealing if they are pushed into the situation. That doesn't mean I don't want them to enjoy it. Human emotions are complicated like that. The anger and confusion at enjoying something that they hate so much on a surface level may be the best part, it's something I'm compelled to work into almost all of my own stories.
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by Littledork1 »

For me it’s my thin patch of pubic hair and having it shaved it makes me feel completely helpless and humiliated
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by RaccoonBatteryStaple »

For me it's a cocktail of different things.

I'm with you in terms of being middle-aged I'm far less hung up on being seen naked than I used to be. Some of that was external (which may make for a separate topic at some point) and some of it was internal.

When I was a little boy I spent most of my time at home with my nuclear family in either a shirt and briefs or just briefs. When there was company, I would wear more clothes and from hearing others around me (both kids and adults) talk at various times, it was made clear exposure that didn't take place in the doctor's office could (or would) naturally lead to unwanted attention and teasing.

My theory is a situation involving sudden exposure -- especially unexpectedly without consent -- invokes multiple layers.
  • Violation of personal autonomy
  • The surprise of that violation
  • Loss of modesty in a nonprivate setting (which socially is always the subject's fault)
  • The physical sensation of exposure (room air on skin that's usually covered)
  • The attention attracted to the parts of your body that are normally kept covered
  • The response of those around you to the incident
  • Uncertainty in parsing the "crowd" reaction: Do they enjoy or approve of you being put in this situation (comeuppance)? Are they mocking your loss of modesty (loss of "face")? Are they passing judgement on the features of your body (genital size/shape, circumcision status, presence/lack of development, markers to indicate arousal)?
And within this, there's an embarassment component -- you might experience these feelings even in an empty room from the transgressive nature of being exposed in an environment where you expect to be covered.

But then there's also a humiliation component -- this is where the audience acknowldeges your loss of modesty and is determined to punish you for it.

I think during that stage just before puberty, the embarassment gets intertwined with the potential for humiliation -- quite possibly due to uncertainty over body image but also possibly because the subject has experienced them together and conflates them.

And heaven help you if you discover you kind of like the surge of feelings that come with that kind of attention but you also don't want to break the social contract (and law) by exposing yourself to people without their consent.
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Re: Why does it embarrass you?

Post by emobat »

I agree with the above it's a mix of so much. And even though I'm much more confident now, and have my exhibitionist streak, if I'm exposed accidentally (come out of my top running to class for example) it's still embarrassing because I wasn't ready for th3 exposure mentally.
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