Class Presentation
Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2022 1:19 am
“Are you ready to give your presentation, Gloria?”
“Yes, Mrs. Whitfield, and Harold agreed to help me.”
“Very well, then.”
Gloria and Harold stepped to the front of the class and faced their classmates.
Gloria said, “My report is on figures of speech, and Harold will help me illustrate some of these figures of speech.
“First, we’ll talk about hair. When someone gets real particular, we say that he is splitting hairs, but you see that hairs are too thin to split. Everybody see that?
“And now let’s talk about the face. Harold is a responsible person, so I’m sure he faces every problem which comes his way.
“And in particular, he has an eye for detail. He joined the band this year, and I have been told that he has a good ear for music. To get band practice into the schedule, he had to give up working on the student newspaper like he did last year, which is a shame because he had a good nose for news.
“I can’t think of a good figure of speech for the mouth. Has Harold ever mouthed off to you, Mrs. Whitfield?”
Mrs. Whitfield smiled and said, “Why no, certainly not, Gloria.”
Gloria said, “And now, I would like for Harold to take off his shoes and socks.” Harold sat on the chair beside the teacher’s desk and did as instructed. Gloria continued, “Feet serve as a symbol for a firm foundation, so you have probably heard of someone footing the expenses for a project.
“And now, if you could please take your trousers off. We often talk about a leg of a chair or a leg of a table without even thinking about it.
“Now we’ll talk about hands. Harold, could you hold out your hands? Since our hands are so useful, it is no wonder that a person taking part in a project is said to have a hand in it.
Or a person helping another person is lending that person a hand. And also, there is the word handy, as in the Yankee Doodle song.
“There are also a lot of figures of speech about arms. When we talk about the military, we use the word arm as a verb.
“Now I will help you take your shirt off so we could talk about your shoulders. To shoulder a responsibility is to accept that you are responsible for something bad or difficult.
“And now you see Harold’s trunk. The word trunk originally meant the trunk of a tree. It only later came to mean a box, a suitcase, or the kind of trunk which we are having the pleasure of seeing right now.
“If you turn around, we can see your spine. We use that word to mean firmness of character.
Now excuse me for a second."
Gloria pulled down Harold's undershorts and let them fall to the floor.
“Those of you who are into computers have heard of a back-up file. This is where that expression came from.
“If you will turn around and face the class again, we can mention a couple more figures of speech. We get the word pencil from Latin, and it means 'penis' because it looks like a penis. Now you see Harold’s penis, so I’m sure you can see the resemblance.
“And if you know what an orchid looks like, you might agree that it looks like Harold’s testicles. The word orchid means 'testicles' in Greek.
“And finally, I would like to thank Harold for his invaluable help."
The class politely applauded.
“Yes, Mrs. Whitfield, and Harold agreed to help me.”
“Very well, then.”
Gloria and Harold stepped to the front of the class and faced their classmates.
Gloria said, “My report is on figures of speech, and Harold will help me illustrate some of these figures of speech.
“First, we’ll talk about hair. When someone gets real particular, we say that he is splitting hairs, but you see that hairs are too thin to split. Everybody see that?
“And now let’s talk about the face. Harold is a responsible person, so I’m sure he faces every problem which comes his way.
“And in particular, he has an eye for detail. He joined the band this year, and I have been told that he has a good ear for music. To get band practice into the schedule, he had to give up working on the student newspaper like he did last year, which is a shame because he had a good nose for news.
“I can’t think of a good figure of speech for the mouth. Has Harold ever mouthed off to you, Mrs. Whitfield?”
Mrs. Whitfield smiled and said, “Why no, certainly not, Gloria.”
Gloria said, “And now, I would like for Harold to take off his shoes and socks.” Harold sat on the chair beside the teacher’s desk and did as instructed. Gloria continued, “Feet serve as a symbol for a firm foundation, so you have probably heard of someone footing the expenses for a project.
“And now, if you could please take your trousers off. We often talk about a leg of a chair or a leg of a table without even thinking about it.
“Now we’ll talk about hands. Harold, could you hold out your hands? Since our hands are so useful, it is no wonder that a person taking part in a project is said to have a hand in it.
Or a person helping another person is lending that person a hand. And also, there is the word handy, as in the Yankee Doodle song.
“There are also a lot of figures of speech about arms. When we talk about the military, we use the word arm as a verb.
“Now I will help you take your shirt off so we could talk about your shoulders. To shoulder a responsibility is to accept that you are responsible for something bad or difficult.
“And now you see Harold’s trunk. The word trunk originally meant the trunk of a tree. It only later came to mean a box, a suitcase, or the kind of trunk which we are having the pleasure of seeing right now.
“If you turn around, we can see your spine. We use that word to mean firmness of character.
Now excuse me for a second."
Gloria pulled down Harold's undershorts and let them fall to the floor.
“Those of you who are into computers have heard of a back-up file. This is where that expression came from.
“If you will turn around and face the class again, we can mention a couple more figures of speech. We get the word pencil from Latin, and it means 'penis' because it looks like a penis. Now you see Harold’s penis, so I’m sure you can see the resemblance.
“And if you know what an orchid looks like, you might agree that it looks like Harold’s testicles. The word orchid means 'testicles' in Greek.
“And finally, I would like to thank Harold for his invaluable help."
The class politely applauded.