Heather Plays Hockey [Ch10 Posted on 12/16/24] (trigger warning - underage nudity)
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Re: Heather Plays Hockey [Ch10 Posted on 12/16/24] (trigger warning - underage nudity)
I have to admit I didn't expect an off season chapter, but it's interesting, Heather leaning a lot more into her sexuality and a bit into exhibitionism too
My real incidents:
viewtopic.php?t=3737
viewtopic.php?t=3840
viewtopic.php?t=3843
viewtopic.php?t=4002
viewtopic.php?t=3737
viewtopic.php?t=3840
viewtopic.php?t=3843
viewtopic.php?t=4002
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Re: Heather Plays Hockey [Ch10 Posted on 12/16/24] (trigger warning - underage nudity)
I love the story, but it is not easy to read when four different characters are speaking in the same paragraph.
It gets confusing keeping track of who is saying what.
It would change your format from the neat paragraphs look that you are using, but having each speaker have a separate line improves on
the clarity.
It gets confusing keeping track of who is saying what.
It would change your format from the neat paragraphs look that you are using, but having each speaker have a separate line improves on
the clarity.
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Re: Heather Plays Hockey [Ch10 Posted on 12/16/24] (trigger warning - underage nudity)
Though I must admit, while the sexuality is fun, I hope you don't forget the innocent, just nudity and butt pats type fun of the starting few chapters
My real incidents:
viewtopic.php?t=3737
viewtopic.php?t=3840
viewtopic.php?t=3843
viewtopic.php?t=4002
viewtopic.php?t=3737
viewtopic.php?t=3840
viewtopic.php?t=3843
viewtopic.php?t=4002
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