Re: Julie's babysitting disaster - edited and added to.
Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2023 11:52 pm
Good evening, Mr. Revengedpirate. It's great that you had the motivation to continue with this story.
It honors you very much, giving credit to minnie mouse, it has been a nice gesture.
The truth is that I tried to get in touch with her, since her approach to her story interested me a lot, to exchange certain ideas and delve into other concepts and situations between the protagonists.
Unfortunately, it has been a long time since he has given any signs of life on the forum.
His contributions are great and I recommend them.
And since you mention her, I would like to recall some of her comments, which could help those who wish to continue with this work, from the sole desire to motivate. 0% review. Only motivation and inspiration for those who take the time to continue expanding this work.
Comments and appreciation of Minnie Mouse:
This is one of my favorite stories, but I think it's progressing too quickly. I don't see how Julie would allow herself to kneel down and let Sally pull her nipples.
I think she would succumb to Lisa but she would need more coercion to let a child do this. - maybe a spanking by Agatha and then passed to Sally to complete would have been reason to acquire.
Hope you don't think this as a criticism.
Possible plotlines could include: Julie being spanked (hasn't happened anywhere near enough), Julie being taken to a swimming pool with a rubber ring, Julie changed in the public area of the changing room, Julie taken to the park to play on swings , slide and see-saw topless, Julie taken to the shop in a trolley, Julie put in a potty in front of others.
Characters to dominate / humiliate Julie can include: Olivia (again) her tiny stature makes this doubly embarrassing; Billy (for a grope of Julie's private parts of her), Agatha and Agnes taking Julie to the park or pool and overseeing her humiliation of her, Lisa to spread Julie's legs of her, talc her and change her into a diaper after drying her. Courtney to 'help' little Julie, Brad to witness the excesses with Julie topless and wearing diapers, ex teachers, old school friend, neighbours, work colleagues, school children from a local school and of course Julie's mum and aunt - perhaps returning in time to see Julie on a potty with wet diapers around her ankles.
Lots of possibilities....
And finally, add a few lines with the sole purpose of motivating, encouraging and inspiring.
It is very interesting to know Julie's thoughts. And to discover her personality through the situations, her reactions and her lines of dialogue.
The antagonists must have good reasons to humiliate Julie. The justification of the actions that Julie faces will enhance the credibility of the story. Contexts are important. Hence Lisa, always feeling that she should be the main Antagonist, because of Jealousy, for discovering how exciting it is to dominate another woman and feel superior, for discovering the pleasure of feeling superior and being able to exert her will against a girl why she feels some degree of threat in terms of jeopardizing her relationship with Brad.
At some point in the story, it would be nice if Julie managed to put all the children in her place. To all. Without revenge, simply drawing character and helped by the classic relatives of those antagonists. All to end up being relieved by someone like Lisa, or any character who carried the weight and raised the stakes and the degradation of Julie to levels not yet seen in the story.
Focus the story, with a simple question. How to get the maximum humiliation out of Julie? Develop the character of Lisa, or her new antagonist, creating a background so that the coherence of the story does not take the reader out of it.
Personally, a woman, no matter how submissive she is... cannot be dominated by adolescents. And even if they managed to dominate her by her force, she would put an end to all that, with all the classic means that an adult can put in place.
Other characters that can help make a difference is a domineering mother, or a stepmother, having to change her address because her father has changed partners. Preferably a stepmother, because she doesn't feel maternal love for Julie, and that gives more consistency to the story.
Another important character is a boss and her interns closest to her, making Julie's stay at work a nightmare.
And then make all the antagonists meet and conspire against Julie. As in a certain date, where all the characters converge for the first time, meet each other and find out their "similar activities" with respect to Julie.
What would come to be a kind of trinity: rival, stepmother and boss, combining with her little personal assistants, to create a hell on earth from Julie's life.
Focusing the story, on humiliation. In the way of living Julie these becomings of destiny. Get to know Julie's thoughts in depth, especially through the dialogue lines.
The dialogues are vital, to develop a character. The line of her attitude, her gestures, her irritations, her way of carrying everything, her looks, her anguish, her answers, and above all how she carries the forced constriction of having to constantly show herself as she is not.
Smiling when she wants to kill. Unintentionally kissing and treating others politely when she hates them all, etc.
And try to expand the scenes, showing what Julie feels. What she wants to say, but she can't say for fear of the consequences and what she suffers from having to say things she doesn't mean with the tone she doesn't want.
Being the source of fun for all those people, assuming all the awkward positions that she is forced to assume, etc.
It would also be necessary to increase the humiliating and heavy punishments. Force her to apologize, make videos, and write many apology notes and be forced to humiliate herself in front of third parties. But with context, with justification.
The story loses a lot, when only the action develops. What really attracts the story, is knowing Julie, through those actions to which they try to subject her. But you have to put the magnifying glass on Julie. In how she lives each one of the torments, in what she feels for each antagonist, what aspects she dislikes in each one. Try to narrate what she feels and how she sees the whole situation.
It is also interesting that there are summaries written in the first person by Julie herself. For example, that she detail what is usually a week in her day to day. What adventures she had to go through that week, her common punishments, how she hates doing what and how.
Julie's loss of choice, how do you handle that. Having to dress in humiliating clothes, or rather be dressed.
The possibilities of the story are great. The question is how to put it on paper, since doing this type of approach is very hard for the creators. They require dedication to the story, to detail, to reveal all the nuances of the situation.
The reader, as a general rule, tries to put where it is missing, but the ideal is that everything is already in the text and can be extracted from the text, although all this is very demanding for the developer of the story.
Of course, remember that these are just ideas, with the intention of motivating. I understand that each author has his vision and his way of presenting the facts.
I recommend authors to pause the story, to prolong the actions, to deepen each sequence, to multiply the dialogues, to get into the characters and try to visualize themselves in said intrigues.
The stories, as a general rule, touch on past events and situations. They don't usually delve into the characters. The dialogues are short lines, without nuances.
I recommend describing the actions in full. Focus on microgestures and narrate them, describe them. In order to enrich the dialogues of all those who participate in the action. Involve the reader in every detail, how Julie felt when she was led almost naked by the ear, her sobs, the sound of her bare feet on the ground increasing her nakedness, the cold she felt on her skin when she was stripped of her last garment, clenching her teeth before being forced to answer politely and force her character to soften her face and not provoke her rival's anger and receive additional punishment for her arrogance and resistance.
The way she looked away when being reprimanded and how she was held by the chin so that her face returned to face the one who spoke to her against her will, the pang of fear of the unknown that was to come, the anguish and shame , the anxiety she had to endure before leaving her house to hold hands with someone else, to be punished for her bad behavior in another, more intimate place, and having to force a smile and an apologetic gesture and hand over a handmade apology letter, after being duly punished.
Details… Try not to leave anything to the imagination. Pause and focus on each fact, on each character, in each situation.
Let's say that the stories are usually like Rambo-type action movies, a lot of shooting and explosions without understanding anything. While this story would do better as a breaking bad/better call saul type series…take your time. Develop and execute things in due time, connecting the facts, understanding the complexity and depth of each situation. Something much more satisfying, deeper. Without detracting from all action movies, much lighter and necessary too.
It's just that Julie deserves that kind of attention...
Thank you very much for continuing to write and not letting this story die, Revengedpirate.
To say that I have not read it, and that I promise to do so and comment on something... but I already congratulate you in advance, for bringing it back to light and trying to revive Julie.
You know, 0 negativity. All positive. Good job and I hope you continue the series. in person Finally, I would like you to focus on bringing out as much shame in Julie as you can, and try to convey to the reader every iota of that shame of hers, through long descriptions, extensive dialogue, full of nuances, letting us see the attitudes of each character, both Julie and the antagonists. Let us see what Julie's days are like, what a week for Julie is like in a summary, see what kind of apology letters they make her write and to whom and why... tell us about how Julie suffers when she's alone, reliving everything in her head. happened, how they dominate Julie, etc... And also let us see how Julie rebels and ends at least, with everything that is underage, to "level up" and begin her true torment, to call it that... and that I even missed the nonsense that these kids did to her, compared to the aberrations at the level of shame and humiliation that true motivated adults and with justified reasons, lead her to experience "a new experience"...
With my best wishes to continue learning more about this character...
Just thanks for your time and dedication and to all those who are involved in the story, such as Valerian, Minnie, etc.
I wish Minnie would come back, I have many ideas that I would like her to develop, in her chronicles about Julie...
It honors you very much, giving credit to minnie mouse, it has been a nice gesture.
The truth is that I tried to get in touch with her, since her approach to her story interested me a lot, to exchange certain ideas and delve into other concepts and situations between the protagonists.
Unfortunately, it has been a long time since he has given any signs of life on the forum.
His contributions are great and I recommend them.
And since you mention her, I would like to recall some of her comments, which could help those who wish to continue with this work, from the sole desire to motivate. 0% review. Only motivation and inspiration for those who take the time to continue expanding this work.
Comments and appreciation of Minnie Mouse:
This is one of my favorite stories, but I think it's progressing too quickly. I don't see how Julie would allow herself to kneel down and let Sally pull her nipples.
I think she would succumb to Lisa but she would need more coercion to let a child do this. - maybe a spanking by Agatha and then passed to Sally to complete would have been reason to acquire.
Hope you don't think this as a criticism.
Possible plotlines could include: Julie being spanked (hasn't happened anywhere near enough), Julie being taken to a swimming pool with a rubber ring, Julie changed in the public area of the changing room, Julie taken to the park to play on swings , slide and see-saw topless, Julie taken to the shop in a trolley, Julie put in a potty in front of others.
Characters to dominate / humiliate Julie can include: Olivia (again) her tiny stature makes this doubly embarrassing; Billy (for a grope of Julie's private parts of her), Agatha and Agnes taking Julie to the park or pool and overseeing her humiliation of her, Lisa to spread Julie's legs of her, talc her and change her into a diaper after drying her. Courtney to 'help' little Julie, Brad to witness the excesses with Julie topless and wearing diapers, ex teachers, old school friend, neighbours, work colleagues, school children from a local school and of course Julie's mum and aunt - perhaps returning in time to see Julie on a potty with wet diapers around her ankles.
Lots of possibilities....
And finally, add a few lines with the sole purpose of motivating, encouraging and inspiring.
It is very interesting to know Julie's thoughts. And to discover her personality through the situations, her reactions and her lines of dialogue.
The antagonists must have good reasons to humiliate Julie. The justification of the actions that Julie faces will enhance the credibility of the story. Contexts are important. Hence Lisa, always feeling that she should be the main Antagonist, because of Jealousy, for discovering how exciting it is to dominate another woman and feel superior, for discovering the pleasure of feeling superior and being able to exert her will against a girl why she feels some degree of threat in terms of jeopardizing her relationship with Brad.
At some point in the story, it would be nice if Julie managed to put all the children in her place. To all. Without revenge, simply drawing character and helped by the classic relatives of those antagonists. All to end up being relieved by someone like Lisa, or any character who carried the weight and raised the stakes and the degradation of Julie to levels not yet seen in the story.
Focus the story, with a simple question. How to get the maximum humiliation out of Julie? Develop the character of Lisa, or her new antagonist, creating a background so that the coherence of the story does not take the reader out of it.
Personally, a woman, no matter how submissive she is... cannot be dominated by adolescents. And even if they managed to dominate her by her force, she would put an end to all that, with all the classic means that an adult can put in place.
Other characters that can help make a difference is a domineering mother, or a stepmother, having to change her address because her father has changed partners. Preferably a stepmother, because she doesn't feel maternal love for Julie, and that gives more consistency to the story.
Another important character is a boss and her interns closest to her, making Julie's stay at work a nightmare.
And then make all the antagonists meet and conspire against Julie. As in a certain date, where all the characters converge for the first time, meet each other and find out their "similar activities" with respect to Julie.
What would come to be a kind of trinity: rival, stepmother and boss, combining with her little personal assistants, to create a hell on earth from Julie's life.
Focusing the story, on humiliation. In the way of living Julie these becomings of destiny. Get to know Julie's thoughts in depth, especially through the dialogue lines.
The dialogues are vital, to develop a character. The line of her attitude, her gestures, her irritations, her way of carrying everything, her looks, her anguish, her answers, and above all how she carries the forced constriction of having to constantly show herself as she is not.
Smiling when she wants to kill. Unintentionally kissing and treating others politely when she hates them all, etc.
And try to expand the scenes, showing what Julie feels. What she wants to say, but she can't say for fear of the consequences and what she suffers from having to say things she doesn't mean with the tone she doesn't want.
Being the source of fun for all those people, assuming all the awkward positions that she is forced to assume, etc.
It would also be necessary to increase the humiliating and heavy punishments. Force her to apologize, make videos, and write many apology notes and be forced to humiliate herself in front of third parties. But with context, with justification.
The story loses a lot, when only the action develops. What really attracts the story, is knowing Julie, through those actions to which they try to subject her. But you have to put the magnifying glass on Julie. In how she lives each one of the torments, in what she feels for each antagonist, what aspects she dislikes in each one. Try to narrate what she feels and how she sees the whole situation.
It is also interesting that there are summaries written in the first person by Julie herself. For example, that she detail what is usually a week in her day to day. What adventures she had to go through that week, her common punishments, how she hates doing what and how.
Julie's loss of choice, how do you handle that. Having to dress in humiliating clothes, or rather be dressed.
The possibilities of the story are great. The question is how to put it on paper, since doing this type of approach is very hard for the creators. They require dedication to the story, to detail, to reveal all the nuances of the situation.
The reader, as a general rule, tries to put where it is missing, but the ideal is that everything is already in the text and can be extracted from the text, although all this is very demanding for the developer of the story.
Of course, remember that these are just ideas, with the intention of motivating. I understand that each author has his vision and his way of presenting the facts.
I recommend authors to pause the story, to prolong the actions, to deepen each sequence, to multiply the dialogues, to get into the characters and try to visualize themselves in said intrigues.
The stories, as a general rule, touch on past events and situations. They don't usually delve into the characters. The dialogues are short lines, without nuances.
I recommend describing the actions in full. Focus on microgestures and narrate them, describe them. In order to enrich the dialogues of all those who participate in the action. Involve the reader in every detail, how Julie felt when she was led almost naked by the ear, her sobs, the sound of her bare feet on the ground increasing her nakedness, the cold she felt on her skin when she was stripped of her last garment, clenching her teeth before being forced to answer politely and force her character to soften her face and not provoke her rival's anger and receive additional punishment for her arrogance and resistance.
The way she looked away when being reprimanded and how she was held by the chin so that her face returned to face the one who spoke to her against her will, the pang of fear of the unknown that was to come, the anguish and shame , the anxiety she had to endure before leaving her house to hold hands with someone else, to be punished for her bad behavior in another, more intimate place, and having to force a smile and an apologetic gesture and hand over a handmade apology letter, after being duly punished.
Details… Try not to leave anything to the imagination. Pause and focus on each fact, on each character, in each situation.
Let's say that the stories are usually like Rambo-type action movies, a lot of shooting and explosions without understanding anything. While this story would do better as a breaking bad/better call saul type series…take your time. Develop and execute things in due time, connecting the facts, understanding the complexity and depth of each situation. Something much more satisfying, deeper. Without detracting from all action movies, much lighter and necessary too.
It's just that Julie deserves that kind of attention...
Thank you very much for continuing to write and not letting this story die, Revengedpirate.
To say that I have not read it, and that I promise to do so and comment on something... but I already congratulate you in advance, for bringing it back to light and trying to revive Julie.
You know, 0 negativity. All positive. Good job and I hope you continue the series. in person Finally, I would like you to focus on bringing out as much shame in Julie as you can, and try to convey to the reader every iota of that shame of hers, through long descriptions, extensive dialogue, full of nuances, letting us see the attitudes of each character, both Julie and the antagonists. Let us see what Julie's days are like, what a week for Julie is like in a summary, see what kind of apology letters they make her write and to whom and why... tell us about how Julie suffers when she's alone, reliving everything in her head. happened, how they dominate Julie, etc... And also let us see how Julie rebels and ends at least, with everything that is underage, to "level up" and begin her true torment, to call it that... and that I even missed the nonsense that these kids did to her, compared to the aberrations at the level of shame and humiliation that true motivated adults and with justified reasons, lead her to experience "a new experience"...
With my best wishes to continue learning more about this character...
Just thanks for your time and dedication and to all those who are involved in the story, such as Valerian, Minnie, etc.
I wish Minnie would come back, I have many ideas that I would like her to develop, in her chronicles about Julie...
