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Re: Stripped to the Core 5A 11/03

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2024 3:22 am
by computerphoto
Yeah like other readers I have noticed some issues with using AI too, like some mention in the last chapter how she was bald before she was, and also it seems the AI is not smart enough to follow the path of the characters from one chapter to another, I love the concept and the ideas and the outline of your story, but like where did Madison go and how is she dealing with it all, and then in my own opinion skipping having Emma not go to cafeteria, and deal with being in front of all those students is major skipping point. I understand you wanted to skip towards getting ready for the assembly, I understand the assembly is going to be a huge point in the foundation of this first day, but skipping the cafeteria and bringing in all these new characters and by passing the cafeteria to me was a mistake, but you are the creator and it your vision for this story.

Re: Chapter 5A: A Moment of Solitude

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2024 3:34 am
by computerphoto
Danielle wrote: Sun Nov 03, 2024 11:35 pm
Their bodies were bare, adorned with a chaotic tapestry of words and drawings, each mark a testament to their humiliations. All their hair from the forehead down was gone, yet they stood with an air of unshakeable confidence as if their vulnerability were armor.

“Hey, Emma,” a tall senior named Kiera called out, her voice dripping with a mixture of mockery and sympathy. “You’re not alone in this, you know.”

I took a hesitant step back, uncertainty coursing through me. “What do you mean?” I managed, my voice barely above a whisper. The embarrassment surged within me, hotter than the skin I felt exposed to, as I could already imagine the whispers that would follow me.

The other girls—Madison, Lena, and Zoe—dropped to their knees in front of Kiera, wrapping their arms around her waist in a show of solidarity that felt strangely choreographed. Even the guy, Ethan, followed suit, dropping to his knees with an exaggerated flourish. “What you see here,” Kiera continued, gesturing to her friends, “is what happens when you embrace the chaos. We’ve all been stripped by our parents in previous school years and written on by our classmates. We’re all part of Ms. Amberley’s little project.”

Madison smirked, her eyes glinting with a mix of pride and mischief. “Welcome to the club, Emma! It’s liberating.”

“Liberating?” I echoed, disbelief coating my words. “You mean it’s humiliating!” The laughter of passing students echoed in my ears, taunting me. I could feel their judgment like a physical weight pressing down on my shoulders, their eyes lingering on my clothes, my hair, my very being. How could they understand? How could they possibly see this as anything but mortifying?

Lena chimed in, her voice steady but filled with a teasing edge. “But it’s also a way to let go. Ms. Amberley told us we didn’t have a choice but to embrace it. It was all planned. The way you felt today, how you let someone write on your skin—it was all part of the show.”

A wave of anger mixed with confusion rose in my chest, flooding my cheeks with heat. “So this was all planned? Even the option to skip on someone else's clothes?” I felt my stomach churn at the thought, the embarrassment curling like a snake around my insides.

“Exactly!” Zoe exclaimed, her enthusiasm infectious despite the circumstances. “But honestly, who would want to skip? This is a chance to express ourselves. We’re creating art, even if it’s on each other’s bodies.” She flashed a smile that only made my heart race faster, caught between admiration and fear.

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“Trust me, this is just the beginning. We’re going to the stage back area before the last-period assembly. You’ll see—once we get in there, it’s like stepping into another world. You’ll forget all about this nonsense.”


Zoe chuckled softly, brushing her bare arm with her hand as if to emphasize her point. “That’s exactly what we all thought at first. But this is about more than just today. It’s about pushing boundaries. Ms. Amberley wants us to see the world differently—to see art in everything, even in ourselves.”
""We’ve all been stripped by our parents in previous school years and written on by our classmates. We’re all part of Ms. Amberley’s little project.”""

so that hints on what I said before in a comment this is is for the very long term, for the rest of her high school career, not just this year or this semester. This is the way of life for them.

Re: Stripped to the Core 5A 11/03

Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2024 3:57 am
by barelin
so that hints on what I said before in a comment this is is for the very long term, for the rest of her high school career, not just this year or this semester. This is the way of life for them.
Yes