Pantsing and Stripping Forums

Sounds good! I look forward to it.

I'm surprised that a straight revenge ending bombed so badly though considering that 90% of the story was setting up for that. Sometimes audience responses just seem random.

Executionus wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 12:49 pm Sounds good! I look forward to it.

I'm surprised that a straight revenge ending bombed so badly though considering that 90% of the story was setting up for that. Sometimes audience responses just seem random.

Oddly enough at the time most (almost all actually) of the responses indicated they didn't like revenge stories as they liked Katie to keep getting taken advantage of hence the ending similar to the one I posted - having the girls surprise Katie once again and leave Katie trapped. I guess even though Katie keep plotting Amy's demise throughout most of the story and it looked like she was going to get her wish, they still thought it sucked when it happened at the end. Oh well . . .

Working on your idea now. Hopefully it will be the finish people are happy with.

Hooked6

Hooked6 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 2:10 pm Oddly enough at the time most (almost all actually) of the responses indicated they didn't like revenge stories as they liked Katie to keep getting taken advantage of

Weird. You have odd luck. I swear almost every self-contained story I post winds up with comments asking for a revenge sequel. In the Thirst Games this site literally voted in a poll for Bully to get revenged. One of my oldest stories, Private School Privates, ended up being criticized for being too mean to the main character, and it was honestly pretty tame. Hell the entire climax of Parade Float centered around the concept that being humiliated freed the victim from her "twin" curse, yet people still asked for her to get the other chick back even though that would reset the status quo that both of them were desperate to escape.

Executionus wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:47 pm

Hooked6 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 2:10 pm Oddly enough at the time most (almost all actually) of the responses indicated they didn't like revenge stories as they liked Katie to keep getting taken advantage of

Weird. You have odd luck.

Perhaps so, or it was the site it was posted on or even maybe the story setting or the phase of the moon. Who knows.

Ahhhh! I've been wondering about this for YEARS. I remember seeing this on the nudeinsf forums a like a decade plus ago and I remember the ending where she ends up joining their clique. Next time I saw it crop up, it was the current ending. I've been worried it was some weird Mandela effect for years!

Hooked6 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 5:26 pm

Executionus wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 4:47 pm

Hooked6 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 2:10 pm Oddly enough at the time most (almost all actually) of the responses indicated they didn't like revenge stories as they liked Katie to keep getting taken advantage of

Weird. You have odd luck.

Perhaps so, or it was the site it was posted on or even maybe the story setting or the phase of the moon. Who knows.

Maybe, there is no satisfactory ending for these stories. The thrill of the story is predicated on the embarrassment to the protagonist. The sense of excitement can only be sustained by either greater levels of embarrassment or novel situations that allow a different experience of that embarrassment.

The risk is that, in escalating the context to explore humiliation, the protagonist becomes nothing more than a vehicle to explore this - there is a desensitisation for the reader as he/she loses interest or becomes uneasy due to the 'cruelty' of the story; an odd conclusion given the nature of humiliation itself in any context.
The counterpoint to this, is to seek some equilibrium in revenge, but inevitably this is very likely (inevitably?) to fail as it completely unsettles the story's dynamic and the story's premise of the protagonist being vulnerable / exploited by the antagonist who is dominant / predatory.

I really think that the number of unfinished stories in this genre are attributable to this analysis.

Hooked6 wrote: ↑Mon Mar 22, 2021 8:26 amI have written a Katie Lynn's Mom catches her naked on the dance floor" ending where she is further embarrassed in front of her classmates by her mom and that seemed to do just "okay" in comments but people genuinely felt bad for Katie Lynn.

I'd be interested in that version, just to see how mom treats her own kid. I'm interested in scenarios where kids are caught by parents - which brings their embarrassment to another level, where there are unable to escape by running home.

Sorry for bumping this thread, but I just needed to say that this story is fantastic! I loved each and every word of it (maybe the ending bit left a little to be desired as others have stated). But Hooked6, you are honestly one of my favorite writers in the genre, if not my all time favorite!

As for the ending, here is what I would have liked to see. I would keep everything with Katie Lynn and her revenge plot pretty much as it is. I would have changed her demeanor a little. I feel like she comes off as a bit maniacal at the end there when stripping the other girls. I think making her a little more betrayed and more hurt would give her more sympathy for readers to root for her.

Then I would keep everything the other girls are telling her about the DRE club and all that. Only the club doesn't really exist. It's just Brooke and Abby trying one last ruse on Katie Lynn before her revenge can unfold, because they expect her to untie them. Only they are shocked that Katie Lynn strips and ties herself up next to them! This wasn't any part of their plan! Oh, one other small change is that I would have had all the boys leave at the same time, so it's just the 6 girls at this point (don't worry about how Katie Lynn could tie herself up, it's just fiction).

The other five girls turn to Katie Lynn and ask if she is nuts, admitting the DRE was a lie to get her to free them. They all start to panic as it sets in there is nothing any of then can do now, and then, the fire alarm goes off. All 6 girls have to face the humiliating consequence as they can do nothing when the entirety of the school comes pouring out of the dance and sees them all naked.

You could probably end it there. I think that would be a good stopping point at least. Katie Lynn get her revenge, but also has to face the consequences of her revenge with the other girls.

I remember this story fondly from the ASN storyboard. Sorry to post well after the fact.

As for endings, my personal preference would be for Andy or one of the other guys to have secretly recorded Brooke confessing to stripping Katie Lynn and some of her other crimes and effectively gain leverage over the group. If they want to keep their secret, they'll have to do what the guys tell them from now on. Feeling a little guilty and very aroused by their embarrassed dismay, Katie demands to be included in whatever the other girls are forced to do. The story ends with Katie's midnight runs continuing, except now it involves six naked girls doing sprints around the track, and the bleachers really are full of people who had been previously tormented by Brooke.

This story inspired me so much. It is truly one of my favorites from one of my all-time favorite writers. The protagonist, the setting, the conflict, are all impeccably chosen and masterfully portrayed!

The first three chapters in particular where the only conflict is "man vs. self" are incomparable. I can vividly picture Katie pushing herself to take just one more step toward the street, one more step toward that stop sign, one more step away from safety. So good!

The way she recruits Brooke to join her in chapter 4 is also so sweet. Giving the protagonist a wide-eyed companion lets the reader experience what's happening from a new perspective.

The middle chapters about the mall mannequin are iconic as well. But the dress (which, IMO, was better worn by Julie in The Shame Games) and the dance scenes in general, when the conflict shifts firmly to "man vs. man", loses something for me. Abby's motivation never really made sense to me (even though I blatantly ripped off the same dynamic for Thornwood).

If I had a vote, I would not want it turned into a story of revenge. I would want things to continue to spiral out of poor Katie's control as she is forced to pay the consequences of her risky decisions and perhaps drag innocent Brooke along with her. What that looks like, I have no idea. But, I always look forward to whatever you write.

~ ND