The photo shoot (prologue) part 19 available

[Hooked6]

Revengedpirate, First, I just want to say that overall I love this story and you have provided page after page of entertaining reading, but I must say that these last two chapters . . . well, they seem to have taken the story off the deep end so-to-speak into the world of total implausibility.

I don't mean to say that erotica must be realistic all the time, but these last two chapters seem rushed and inconsistent with the good job you have done so far suspending the belief of the reader regarding the plot line. It seems most probable that your protagonist would be taken advantage of by her peers, but to involve authority figures such as the nurse, Mrs. Cook as well as other teachers seems, well, excessively over the top without giving these people a suitable reason for treating Amy so cruelly.

The students' actions didn't really need their motivations explained because, well, they are just teens and often act irresponsible but when adults become complicit they should have clear motivations for being sociopaths, otherwise your story loses continuity.

Just a thought from underneath the shade tree.

Hooked6

[Revengedpirate]

I’m going to rewrite those two chapters part 18 wasn’t right and part 19 was actually rewritten 5 times in different ways and still made no story sense. I thought it was just me. But I’m going to have a really good rethink and rewrite both parts. Thanks hooked 6 for your feedback

[Steptoe]

I think chapter 19 was pretty off the wall, but chapter 18 just needed tweaking. Yes, it was implausible but so is a lot of this story, but it has its own reality. There have been some very funny 'laugh out loud' moments in this story, my favourite being Chloe asking Amy "what's wrong?" and "can we be friends?" after stripping her on multiple occasions and pulling down her pull ups and spanking her in public. Comedy gold. Then there is Mrs Cook, the Home Economics teacher!

Is it plausible? Not at all, but it does live in its own zany universe.

[Revengedpirate]

I’ve rewritten part 18, please can you give me feedback on the rewrite. I’ve tried to make it more plausible and added a bit of real life to it.

Reading through the story again from start to finish, the character Tiffany is my biggest problem. By changing her from Amy’s biggest Antagonist to Amy’s friend has caused a massive story problem.

Losing Henny Sami or Nikki didn’t really matter but losing Tiffany impacted a lot more. Without deleting chapter 16 onwards I’m going to have to find a solution somewhere to this problem.

[Revengedpirate]

Hi all, I’ve decided I’m going to end this story here. I’ve got more ideas for the story but without Tiffany as antagonist it’s just not going to work. I thought about using sci fi to fix the problem or other ways, but nothing seems to be plausible enough.

What I am going to do is rewrite it, taking out the flaws. But still keep this story up. I like these characters and although it did go wrong it’s a learning curve. I hope everyone has enjoyed this story, you’ll hear from Amy and Tiffany again real soon. Thanks

[Big Dave]

I've been closely following Amy's humiliation and enjoying it very much, but I did wonder how you were going to develop the plot following chapter 17 onwards. It did become increasingly implausible, but still very enjoyable, although I felt chapter 19 would be problematic with the very strong change in dynamic. Unfortunately, I felt you made the situation more difficult for yourself with your rewrite as I don't think having two victims is as compelling.

It's a shame to finish the story but as you hinted Amy's adventures could be revisited, maybe six months later - perhaps on holiday, sixth form college or in a work setting. It would seem a waste for all the time you've spent introducing us to Amy, to just finish.

Thanks Revenge. I've enjoyed the trip.

Maybe we can have more chapters on a certain school bully

[Lorax]

Sorry to see the end of this story. Hope we see Amy soon. On the positive side it gives us an opportunity to catch up with Vicky's shopping trip escapades.
She's been waiting for 6 weeks for Adam to give her vagina public scrub.

[Little Denis Staff]

Sorry to see the end of this story. Hope we see Amy soon. On the positive side it gives us an opportunity to catch up with Vicky's shopping trip escapades.
She's been waiting for 6 weeks for Adam to give her vagina public scrub.

Yeh what he said ☝

[Revengedpirate]

Thanks everyone. Yes two protagonists and no antagonist doesn’t work. Tiffany’s character change screwed the story right up. In plausibility and future story lines would have been super complicated.

I have however started Amy’s Life... which goes off these characters. And plot lines. It’s not quite the same but an interesting twist.

Thanks everyone for your support in this story. This isn’t the end for Amy....

[Revengedpirate]

I liked this set of characters so much I gave them rebirth in Amy's Life.