Re: The Unraveling (New 10/04)
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2024 7:01 pm
by Bucket
So instead of summarizing my thoughts about the latest chapters, I thought instead I'd point out just how creative you are for your age.
You're basically giving us a chapter each week. Do you know how impressive that is? The answer? = Very. Not to mention, for me, having to wait for 3 chapters at a time before I read it, it's so very much appreciated that you manage to give us such quality chapters so quickly!
I'm not even kissing ass. I'm really not. You're clearly very creative, and I appreciate the quick updates.
Anyway, onto the reviews!
Chapter 36 review
Ellie saying "let's see how wet out little Riley is" and then feeling her up, clit to anus and back amazing. All eyes (and fingers
) on Riley! Her squirming is fun, but then omg is the "you're soaking" and especially "taste yourself" stunning! Would love to see Riley having to taste her own juices so much more moving forward! Perhaps a new rule of some sort?
The description of the wet sounds being made when they then checked Lily was wonderful. Small but certainly not insignificant details like that are always so fun. The lip biting is always a turn on too.
Riley asking to per in a small and tentative voice adds to the absolute submissive nature of the poor girl. Another small detail, but is erotic. More lip biting and begging. You can never have too much of either, and the trail of urine running down her legs was fun as hell!
Loved all of this:
"Riley's legs were trembling as she stepped out of the puddle, her eyes downcast, unable to meet the gazes of the trio. She knew that she reeked of embarrassment and desperation, and she felt more vulnerable than ever before. "Can I at least go shower?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper."
Also loved this:
" Riley's eyes darted from Ellie to Aria to Claire, each of their faces a mask of amusement and anticipation. She took a deep, shaky breath, willing herself not to cry. "I'm Riley," she began, her voice small and defeated. "And I need to shower because..." Her voice trailed off as she looked down at the puddle of her own urine still pooled around her feet"
Riley trying not to cry shows where her mental state is, and her pleading with her eyes are both phenomenal.
Watching Riley (in my minds eye) soap herself up was actually quite erotic already, but her inadvertently playing with her clit and spreading her ass was so arousing!
Also, I love how little Riley makes eye contact in this! Such submissive body language. Lovely stuff. And I know I've not mentioned this yet, but I really love Riley's freckles. Such a cute facial feature.
So much focus in Riley, her nudity and her DEEP embarrassment. Detailing her body whilst being filmed. Love it all a great deal. Also love how Riley centric this chapter is so far, and you've also upped her embarrassment and shame even more once again which is greatly appreciated.
And OH MY GOD do I love this bottomless situation and where it's (hopefully) going! There's something so insanely arousing about a beautiful girl wearing nothing but a shirt. I think it's as you described it. It's as if she'd feel even more exposed and vulnerable. Almost like "all eyes on her pussy" type thing.
Preferably above the waist/naval, but if they're headed to their dorms just like that, it's still incredibly amazing and understandable. Would love so much to see a lot more bottomlessness!
Yet another sensational chapter! Felt a little bit shorter, but it could be that I was just enjoying myself as time flew by.
Re: The Unraveling (New 10/04)
Posted: Thu Oct 10, 2024 7:09 pm
by Bucket
Chapter 38 review
Holy moly, we're starting out like this? Amazing! Sensational! Spreading Riley's legs as wide as humanly possible and then some, so wide that she's actually trembling and then the pussy torture was wild! Wild in the best way!
I was hoping that Riley becomes genuinely a bit terrified of the girls so that blackmail is not even needed anymore (though still a very important aspect of the story) so if this is where this is headed, I'm so on board for that!
Everything about the scene was erotic as all hell, and it had a certain meanness to it that I really enjoyed. End then you give us a little of that underlying care that the girls have for her, even if just a hint, so loved all of this.
And oh my sweet baby Moses, Riley having to not only have her legs spread open beyond their limits, but now she has to spread her pussy open even further with her fingers whilst the group watch!? And the way you describe it in great detail!? Sensational! Absolutely fecking sensation! I can't begin to tell you how hot that is! It was so graphic, vulgar and... perfect. One of the hottest scenes of the entire story. Epic scene!
It felt like something changed in this chapter. Changed in the best way possible of course. Like we've just witnessed Riley break and completely and utterly submit. Like she was incredibly subservient before, but we've just witnessed something life-changing. The total degradation of poor Riley, and in front of someone cares a great deal about in the shape of Lily no less, making it that much more degrading.
Like she's just completed her transformation into the most submissive plaything, and she'll obey anyone's commands. Really loved this. Everything you've just done here, and I do mean everything is the very definition of perfection!
Though I'd still highly suggest she remain constantly reluctant each time. If she just immediately obeys every time without a seconds thought, it'd come across as robotic. Like she would come across as a mindless robot. Definitely want to avoid that imo. Not that you go there ever. Riley definitely is still very visibly reluctant each time with is perfect.
The amount of cruelty from the girls here is just perfect. I know I'm saying the word "perfect" a lot, but it describes the latest chapters perfectly. (There's that word again) Particularly chapter 38.
And the choice she was given was absolutely perfect too! Ok, I'm going to stop saying perfect now...
I also love when Riley gets rules that Lily doesn't. Like Lily is 2 or 3 steps higher on the social ladder, whilst Riley keeps descending lower down said ladder. Or higher up the ladder of submission, however you want to put it.
The tension you built while sending that pussy photo was palpable, and you could really feel Riley's extreme anxiety. Brilliant stuff.
I love that it was an incredibly graphic picture, but it was anonymous. I'm very curious to know who it was, and I'm kind of hoping they figure out it's Riley.
The naked hug was nice, Lily looking at her friend with deep concern, only for Riley to offer a sad smile was a nice touch, and adds realism to the story. If Riley wasn't all that affected by all of this, it wouldn't be believable.
Oh, and did I mention how much I lovedthe bottomless scenes?
Chapter 36 and 37 were fun, but 38 was off the charts amazing! Emily at her impervious best. The chapters felt a bit shorter, though I won't blame you for needing to write smaller chapters from time to time.
And now the wait for the next 3 begins. Thoroughly looking forward to more!
Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2024 12:06 am
by Emily
Chapter 39
Riley felt her knees tremble, her stomach flipping as Ellie's eyes raked over her naked form. The silence was deafening, the weight of their standoff palpable. "I'm going out tonight," Ellie announced, her voice cool and detached. "But you're not."
The words hung in the air, a stark reminder of the power dynamics that had shifted so dramatically in the past few days. "You're going to stay here," Ellie continued, "and think about what you've done. Think about how much you enjoyed that little show you put on for us."
Riley's eyes fell to the floor, her cheeks burning with a mix of embarrassment and anger. She knew Ellie was right. She had enjoyed it, more than she cared to admit. The feeling of being watched, the thrill of the forbidden, it was all intoxicating. But she also knew that she was trapped, her fate in the hands of these three girls who seemed to take pleasure in her degradation.
As Ellie's footsteps faded down the hallway, Riley was left in a cocoon of silence, the weight of her nakedness pressing heavily upon her. She felt vulnerable, a living statue of humiliation, her body still tingling from the touch of the cold air and the heat of Ellie's gaze. She glanced at the door, the wood a stark contrast to the plush carpet beneath her bare feet, and contemplated running, escaping this twisted game. But she knew she couldn't. The photo they had taken was a silent sentinel, a reminder of the power they held over her.
Riley slid into the bed, pulling the covers tightly around her body, the soft fabric providing a semblance of modesty. She lay there, her mind racing, trying to make sense of the tumultuous emotions crashing through her. She had never felt so alive, so exposed, so... desperate. Before college, she had been a shy, introverted girl who had barely even allowed herself to indulge in the most basic of pleasures. The idea of masturbation had been a furtive, guilty act, performed only in the privacy of her own room, under the cover of darkness.
Now, as she stared at the ceiling, she reached for her phone, her trembling hand unlocking it and opening the photo album. She scrolled through the images, her thumb moving almost of its own accord. There she was, a younger Riley, dressed in a frilly pink dress, her hair in pigtails, her smile wide and innocent. The picture was taken at a family picnic, the sun casting dappled shadows on the grass beneath her. Her eyes were wide and bright, full of hope and excitement for the future.
Riley felt a pang of sadness as she contrasted that image with the reality of her current situation. What would that younger version of herself think of her now? Would she be disgusted by the girl who had allowed herself to be manipulated and degraded by her so-called friends? Or would she see the strength in Riley's ability to endure, to push past her boundaries?
Her thoughts swirled as she tried to find a comfortable position, the bed feeling both too warm and too cold against her naked skin. Her body was a live wire of arousal and shame, a confusing mix of sensations that made her squirm with every movement. She knew she should be tired after the day's events, but sleep remained elusive. Her mind was too busy replaying every humiliating moment, every time she had been forced to bare herself, every time she had felt the thrill of their control.
Finally unable to bear the silence and the tumult in her head, Riley grabbed her phone and scrolled to Lily's name. Her thumb hovered over the call button for a moment before she pressed it, the ringing echoing through the quiet room like a gunshot. Lily picked up almost immediately.
"Hello?" Lily's voice was soft, a stark contrast to the chaos in Riley's mind.
"I... I can't sleep," Riley admitted, her voice wavering. "I just... I had to talk to someone."
Lily's voice was gentle, understanding. "It's okay," she said softly. "I'm here."
And with those words, the floodgates opened. Riley spilled out her fears, her embarrassment, and her anger, the words tumbling from her mouth in a rush. She told Lily everything, from the initial photo to the dares and the tasks, to the way her body had responded against her will. She talked about the thrill she felt, the way her heart raced and her pulse quickened, even as she hated herself for it. And she talked about the fear, the gut-wrenching terror of being exposed, of being found out.
Lily listened without judgment, her voice a soothing balm in the chaos. She whispered comforting words, sharing her own experiences and feelings of helplessness. She understood, she said, because she had been through it too. They were in this together, bound by a shared secret and a shared torment.
Riley lay there, feeling the warmth of the covers against her skin, her hand idly tracing the curve of her thigh. Her mind wandered to the earlier tasks, to the way Lily had looked at her when they were both naked. There had been no disgust, no revulsion. Just curiosity, acceptance, and a hint of something else. Something that made her heart flutter.
“Thank you, Lily,” Riley whispered into the phone, her voice cracking slightly with emotion. “For being here, for understanding. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You don’t have to do this alone, Riley,” Lily’s voice was a gentle reassurance in the darkness. “We’re in this together. We’ll figure it out, okay?”
Riley took a shaky breath and nodded, though Lily couldn’t see her. “Okay,” she murmured, her eyes finally slipping shut. The exhaustion washed over her like a warm wave, pulling her under into the abyss of sleep. Her last thought before the blackness claimed her was of the softness of Lily’s skin against hers, the gentle way she had whispered into the phone, the solidarity in their shared ordeal.
When she awoke the next morning, the room was bathed in early sunlight, the curtains not yet drawn. Riley groaned, rolling over to find her phone still clutched in her hand, the call ended. She could still feel the echo of Lily’s voice in her ears, the comforting presence that had allowed her to find some semblance of peace in the darkness.
Her body was sticky with the remnants of the previous night's activities, the scent of arousal and sweat clinging to her skin. She knew she needed to shower, to wash away the evidence of her humiliation. The thought of the cold water on her skin was both terrifying and tempting. It was a reminder of her loss of control, yet the promise of cleansing was irresistible.
With trembling hands, Riley grabbed a robe and a fresh change of clothes from her dresser, the fabric feeling rough against her sensitized skin. She stepped into the robe, wrapping it tightly around herself as if it could protect her from the memories that lurked in the shadows of the room. Her eyes fell to the floor, avoiding the reflection in the mirror that would only show her the reality of her situation.
The hallway was eerily quiet, the soft carpet muffling her bare feet. She clutched the robe tightly, feeling the fabric brush against her still-sensitive nipples. The bathroom was at the end of the hall, a beacon of sanctity in the wake of the night's events. The door was slightly ajar, the light spilling out like a beacon of purity.
Riley pushed the door open with a sigh, the sound of the running shower a stark contrast to the stillness of the early morning. She picked a stall opposite from it, the sound of the water hitting the tiles a comforting white noise to her frenzied thoughts. She could hear someone moving around in there, the rustle of a towel, the shuffle of feet.
She stepped into the stall, the coolness of the tile a stark contrast to the warmth of her room. The scent of antiseptic cleaner filled the air, a stark reminder of the impersonal space she now sought refuge in. With trembling hands, she tied the robe's sash tighter around her waist, the fabric feeling too thin, too flimsy against the weight of her thoughts. Riley took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart as the sound of the shower grew louder. She knew what was expected of her now, the routine that had been so meticulously laid out for her.
Leaning her phone against a towel, she made sure the angle was just right to capture the entire shower area. The small device, cold and unyielding against the porous fabric, held a power over her that she hadn't anticipated. She hit record, the soft click echoing in the silence of the bathroom. The screen flickered to life, framing the shower's steamy embrace, a silent witness to what was about to unfold.
Her trembling fingers found the sash of her robe, untying the knot with painstaking precision. The fabric parted, revealing her naked body to the unforgiving glow of the bathroom lights. She stepped out of the robe, feeling the chilly air kiss her skin, her nipples hardening in response. The camera's unblinking eye recorded her every move, a silent sentinel of her descent.
With a deep breath, Riley lowered herself to the cold tiles of the shower floor, her knees coming up to her chest. She spread her legs wide, the muscles in her thighs protesting the sudden movement. Her pussy was on full display, the soft folds parted, the pink of her inner labia peeking out shyly. The camera's lens zeroed in, capturing the intimate scene in stark clarity.
Her hand trembled as it made its way down her body, her fingers brushing against the softness of her stomach, the curve of her hip, and finally reaching the warmth of her mound. The anticipation was almost unbearable, a tight coil of tension in her belly that grew with every passing second. She hovered for a moment, the pad of her thumb pressing lightly against her clit, the sensation sending a jolt through her body.
The sound of the running water grew louder in her ears, the steady rhythm of the droplets a counterpoint to the racing of her heart. She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax, to focus on the task at hand. It was just another part of the game, she reminded herself, a necessary step in maintaining her façade.
But as her fingers danced over her clit, the walls of the shower stall seemed to close in around her. The cold tiles pressed into her back, the dampness of the floor seeping into her skin. The smell of the soap and shampoo was a stark contrast to the scent of her arousal, a scent that seemed to grow stronger with every passing moment. And as she slid her hand lower, her middle finger grazing the tight ring of her anus, she forgot about the camera, forgot about the rules, forgot about everything but the feeling.
The wetness from her pussy coated her digit, making the transition smoother than she had anticipated. The initial resistance of her body melted away, leaving only the heady rush of taboo pleasure. She felt her breath hitch as she pushed the finger inside, the sensation foreign and exhilarating. Her muscles clenched around the intrusion, a silent protest that only served to heighten her desire.
She gently thrusted her finger in and out of her anus, feeling the tight muscles clench around her digit with every movement. The sensation was strange, yet oddly liberating. It was a stark contrast to the gentle caress she gave her clit with her other hand, the pad of her thumb circling the sensitive nub in a rhythm that was becoming all too familiar. The juxtaposition of the two sensations sent a shiver of pleasure through her, making her toes curl against the cold tiles.
Her breathing grew ragged, the tension in her body coiling tighter and tighter with every stroke. She knew she was close, the sweet release just within her grasp. But as she moved to increase her pace, the sound of the shower curtain being ripped open shattered the illusion of solitude. Riley's eyes flew open, her heart racing as a pair of unfamiliar eyes met hers, filled with a mix of shock and amusement.
"Oh my god, are you...?" the girl began, her voice trailing off as she took in the scene before her.
Riley's eyes widened in horror, her hand frozen mid-thrust. The camera, still recording, captured the shock and mortification that painted her face. The girl was a stranger, a blonde with a smug smirk that suggested she knew exactly what was happening. Time seemed to slow to a crawl, each heartbeat echoing through the tiles like a drumline.
"I... I'm... sorry," Riley stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper. The girl's eyes flicked to the phone, the screen still capturing Riley's naked form, and then back to Riley.
"Well, aren't you a little kinky freshman," the blonde said, her smirk widening. "You know, you look like you could still be in high school with that baby-smooth pussy."
Riley felt a fresh wave of humiliation wash over her, her cheeks burning redder than the sunburn she'd earned the day before. She hastily scrambled to cover herself with the robe, the fabric catching on the shower handle, leaving her exposed for what felt like an eternity longer.
The blonde's eyes sparkled with mischief as she stepped closer. "I'll tell you what," she said, her voice a low purr that sent a shiver down Riley's spine. "Send me a copy of that video, and I'll keep this little... incident between us."
Riley's eyes darted to the camera, still recording, and back to the girl, who was now leaning against the shower stall, her arms crossed over her chest. "Do we have a deal?" she asked, her tone playful yet threatening.
Riley's heart sank as she realized the gravity of the situation. This stranger now had the power to expose her to the entire college. She swallowed hard, nodding in defeat. "Yes," she managed to croak out.
The blonde leaned in, her voice a seductive whisper. "Good choice," she said, her eyes gleaming with a predatory glint. She rattled off a series of numbers, which Riley assumed was her phone number. "Send it to me, and I'll make sure to keep it our little secret."
With trembling hands, Riley typed in the number, her heart racing as she hit 'Send'. The video disappeared from her screen, swallowed up by the digital void that now held another piece of her soul. She watched as the blonde's phone beeped, the notification lighting up her screen. The girl's eyes widened as she played the video, a grin spreading across her face like a dark shadow.
"Perfect," she said, her voice dripping with satisfaction. She pocketed her phone with a wink. "Now, don't forget to wash your hands, freshman. You wouldn't want to spread any germs, would you?"
With a flick of her hair, she left the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind her. Riley was left in the stall, her heart hammering in her chest, the cold water still cascading around her. The curtain closed, she climbed to her feet, her legs shaky with adrenaline and embarrassment. She sent the video to Ellie, Aria, and Claire, the act feeling like a final surrender to their control. The phone was still in her hand when she turned the water to a scalding hot, the need to scrub away the feeling of exposure and betrayal overwhelming.
The water pelted her skin, stinging at first but soon turning into a comforting warmth. She stepped under the spray, letting the scalding jets hit her face, mixing with the tears that spilled over her cheeks. Her sobs echoed off the tiles, the sound lost in the hiss of the shower. The steam grew thick, wrapping around her like a warm embrace, as she tried to find solace in the pounding water. Her fingers moved on autopilot, lathering her body with soap, scrubbing away the grime of the day.
Riley's thoughts swirled like the water around her feet, a maelstrom of fear, anger, and a strange, twisted arousal that she couldn't shake. Her mind replayed the moment the blonde had found her, the way her eyes had lingered on Riley's exposed pussy, the smugness in her voice. The humiliation burned hotter than the shower water, and she couldn't escape it, no matter how hard she scrubbed. The tears mingled with the water, running down her body, tracing the path her hand had taken moments before.
As the water grew lukewarm, Riley's trembling subsided. She stepped out of the shower, her body a map of red splotches from the scalding heat. The foggy mirror revealed a puffy-faced, tear-stained reflection, but she couldn't bear to look at herself for long. Instead, she focused on the buzzing of her phone on the counter. She reached for it, her hand shaking as she read the messages from the trio.
"What the fuck was that?" Ellie's text was a flurry of rage. "You're ours, Riley. We don't share."
The next message from Aria was a blend of anger and possessiveness. "That bitch had no right to see you like that. We're going to find her, don't worry. She'll regret ever laying eyes on what belongs to us."
Riley's heart pounded in her chest as she read the texts. Despite her fear, there was a strange comfort in their words. They were upset, but not with her. The trio saw her as theirs, an object to be coveted and protected. It was a twisted sense of belonging, but in that moment, it was all she had.
With trembling hands, she reached for the towel, the soft fabric offering a small respite from the cold, hard reality of the bathroom. She quickly dried off, the roughness of the towel scraping against her sensitive skin. The cold air outside the shower made her shiver, the sudden change in temperature making her acutely aware of every inch of her body.
Dressing was a mechanical process, her mind still reeling from the events in the shower. She pulled on her underwear, the fabric sticking slightly to her damp skin. Her jeans and shirt felt like a second layer of armor, the roughness of the fabric a stark contrast to the silky softness of the bathrobe. The act of getting dressed was a silent declaration of her intent to face the day, to put one foot in front of the other despite her shaking legs.
As she tied her laces, her phone buzzed with a text from Claire. "Don't worry, Riley. I'll take care of it." The message was short and to the point, but the weight behind it was as heavy as a boulder. Riley felt a flicker of hope, a small spark of relief in the pit of her stomach. Perhaps the situation wasn't as dire as it seemed. Perhaps the trio's wrath could protect her from the prying eyes of the blonde stranger.
With a deep breath, she picked up her brush and began to run it through her wet hair, the strokes methodical and soothing. Each pull and tug brought her back to reality, the painful reminder of her submission echoing with every pass. But it was also a comfort, a routine that grounded her in the familiar amidst the chaos. Her hair fell in soft waves around her shoulders, the scent of her shampoo lingering like a protective aura.
Riley took another deep breath and picked up her backpack, the weight of her books a stark contrast to the emptiness she felt inside. She checked her phone again, the texts from the trio burning into her mind like a brand. The time had come to face the world, to pretend that she was just another college student heading to class.
Her heart raced as she stepped into the bustling corridor, the cacophony of voices and footsteps a stark contrast to the quiet solitude of the bathroom. She kept her eyes down, hoping to avoid any unwelcome glances or recognition. The hallways of the college were a minefield, every corner a potential encounter with someone who had seen the video. The thought of their eyes on her, knowing what she had done, was almost unbearable.
The classroom was a haven of anonymity, the rows of desks and the sea of students a buffer against the reality of her situation. She slipped into her seat, her heart pounding against her ribs like a drum. The professor droned on, the words a meaningless jumble as her mind replayed the events of the morning. The humiliation was a living thing, a monster that gnawed at her insides with every tick of the clock.
Her eyes scanned the room, searching for any sign of recognition, any smirks or glances that would betray her secret. But the faces remained a blur of indifference, the students too absorbed in their own lives to pay her any mind. Riley felt a strange mix of relief and disappointment. She wanted to be seen, to have someone acknowledge the tumult within her, yet she was terrified of the consequences.
As class ended, Riley gathered her things, her movements mechanical, each second feeling like an eternity. The weight of the day's events clung to her like a second skin, suffocating her with every inhale. She slid her phone into her pocket, the silent sentinel of her submission a constant reminder of the trio's dominance. The bustle of students around her was a blur of color and sound as she made her way to her next class, a sea of faces that seemed both too close and too far away.
Her mind played a twisted game, imagining every pair of eyes in the hall seeing her as she had been that morning—nude, exposed, and utterly vulnerable. It was as if the walls had become transparent, revealing her most intimate moments for all to see. Each step was a battle against the urge to cover herself, to hide from the invisible gazes that seemed to burn into her flesh. She felt naked even as she was fully dressed, the fabric of her clothes suddenly too thin, too revealing.
Her next class was a blur, the lecture hall swarming with students, each a potential judge of her most intimate moments. Riley kept her eyes on the floor, her cheeks burning with a feverish blush. She found her seat in the back, hoping to blend into the sea of faces. But the whispers and giggles that ricocheted around the room made her stomach clench with fear. Was it just her imagination, or did they know?
As the lecture dragged on, she felt a growing discomfort in her jeans. It wasn't the restrictive fabric, but the warm wetness that had started to soak through. Her panties clung to her, the fabric a stark reminder of her arousal. Despite the horror of the morning, the thrill of her submission lingered, a siren's call she couldn't ignore. She squirmed in her seat, trying to adjust herself without drawing attention. The fabric was sticking to her skin, a testament to her body's traitorous response to the trio's control.
Her thoughts drifted to the previous night's conversation with Lily, the whispered confessions and gentle touches that had brought them closer than ever before. The memory was a balm to her frayed nerves, a secret shared only between the two of them. But even as she clung to that solace, she couldn't ignore the darker implications of their situation. The thrill of the forbidden had become a drug, one she wasn't sure she could live without.
The room grew warmer, the heat from the projector casting a red glow over the rows of seats. Riley's legs began to tingle, the fabric of her jeans feeling tighter with every passing minute. She crossed and uncrossed her legs, trying to ease the pressure building between her thighs. But every movement only served to remind her of the wetness spreading across her underwear.
Her hand slipped into her pocket, her fingers wrapping around the cold metal of her phone. With a furtive glance around, she pulled it out and clicked on the video she had sent to the trio earlier that morning. The screen lit up, a small square of illicit pleasure in the sea of academia. The sight of herself, naked and vulnerable, brought a rush of emotions—fear, arousal, and a strange sense of powerlessness that made her heart race.
But as she watched, the sound of her own gasp filled the quiet lecture hall, echoing off the high ceilings and bouncing between the rows of seats. The video was on full volume, and the intimate sound of her pleasure was amplified in the silent room. Heads turned, eyes widened, and whispers began to spread like wildfire. Riley's cheeks burned as she realized her mistake, her hand fumbling to lower the volume, but it was too late.
Her heart pounding in her chest, she quickly turned it off and shoved the phone back into her pocket. The room felt as if it was closing in on her, the weight of a hundred stares pressing down on her shoulders. She couldn't meet anyone's eyes, couldn't bear to see the disgust or pity she knew would be reflected there. Instead, she focused on the professor, his words now a droning background noise to her racing thoughts.
The second hand on the clock felt like it was moving through molasses, each tick an eternity. When the lecture finally ended, she bolted from her seat, her books and papers scattering to the floor in her haste. She didn't bother to pick them up, didn't stop to apologize. All she could think about was getting out, getting away from the whispers and the judgement that seemed to follow her like a shadow.
Her heart raced as she sprinted through the crowded hallways, her breath coming in ragged gasps. The corridors stretched on forever, a never-ending gauntlet of faces that blurred together. She couldn't tell if they were looking at her or not, but she felt their eyes on her, boring into her soul. Her chest tightened with every step, her breaths shallower and quicker.
Finally, she burst into the relative safety of her dorm, the door slamming shut behind her. The small room felt like a sanctuary, the familiarity of the space offering a small measure of comfort. She leaned against the cool wood, her eyes squeezed shut, trying to calm the storm in her chest.
With trembling hands, Riley began to strip off her clothes, peeling away the layers of fabric that felt like they were suffocating her. Her shirt hit the floor first, followed by her jeans, leaving her in just her wet, sticky underwear. She stepped out of the puddle of fabric and made her way to the bed, her legs feeling like jelly beneath her.
Her body collapsed onto the mattress with a heavy sigh, the coolness of the sheets a stark contrast to the heat of her flushed skin. She lay there for a moment, her breathing ragged and erratic, the weight of the day's events pressing down on her like a ton of bricks. Her eyes slipped closed, and she allowed herself to drift into the welcoming embrace of sleep, desperate to escape the relentless grip of reality.
Re: The Unraveling (New 10/10)
Posted: Fri Oct 11, 2024 5:09 pm
by Bucket
Holy crap, a fourth chapter! Phenomenal! Well, a fourth chapter from my perspective.
Well let's do another review than, shall we.
Chapter 39
Love how it opens up with Riley looking down at the ground again. I'll never get tired of that kind of submissive body language from her.
This sentence here was a clever way of articulating how she is feeling with "silent sentinel":
"The photo they had taken was a silent sentinel, a reminder of the power they held over her"
Loved all of this:
"Riley slid into the bed, pulling the covers tightly around her body, the soft fabric providing a semblance of modesty. She lay there, her mind racing, trying to make sense of the tumultuous emotions crashing through her. She had never felt so alive, so exposed, so... desperate. Before college, she had been a shy, introverted girl who had barely even allowed herself to indulge in the most basic of pleasures. The idea of masturbation had been a furtive, guilty act, performed only in the privacy of her own room, under the cover of darkness"
The whole "She was such a good girl" thing, so shy and even almost too timid to masturbate when no-one was around is so good, and her tucking herself in so tightly in a desperate attempt to preserve even a single iota of modesty was very well done. That picture of her when she was younger, capturing her innocence really is a powerful way of exhibiting that lost innocence, only to be replaced by deep shame was remarkably effective.
I actually really liked the phone call to Lilly. It was sweet. Nothing particularly erotic, just a really nice a perhaps much needed conversation between the two girls. Really enjoyable.
This:
"Riley lay there, feeling the warmth of the covers against her skin, her hand idly tracing the curve of her thigh. Her mind wandered to the earlier tasks, to the way Lily had looked at her when they were both naked. There had been no disgust, no revulsion. Just curiosity, acceptance, and a hint of something else. Something that made her heart flutter"
As well as this:
"Her last thought before the blackness claimed her was of the softness of Lily’s skin against hers, the gentle way she had whispered into the phone, the solidarity in their shared ordeal"
Is all so magnificently done. Love everything about Riley's thoughts about Lily. Her waking to more thoughts of her. Excellent.
More looking down to the ground, unable to even look at herself in the mirror which is of course great. Her anxiety seemingly at an all time high.
Everything about the shower scene was exceptionally hot. The way you describe her body and her parting pussy lips just the way Riley is touching herself is all extraordinarily erotic, the then she goes and fingers her own anus of her own volition? That is profoundly hot as hell! The girl is really developing a thing for "butt stuff" it seems.
Astonishing!
Also, in terms of articulation, words like "juxtaposition" is always nice to see. Random tibit of information for you there.
It's funny, in the heat of Riley's excitement, I was really hoping that whoever was showering in that bathroom would open the door/curtain and discover what Riley was doing to herself, and what do you do? Yup, you give us exactly the thing I was hoping for.
The entire interaction between the two girls was incredibly phenomenal, and the girl giving Riley that ultimatum was amazing! The degradation of poor Riley knows no bounds, and I am so here for it!
Like u said in the previous review, chapter 38 seemed like a turning point. A life changing scenario which permanently and definitively cemented Riley's total degradation and unrelenting submission. A sort of place of no return for the young woman. It now feels like she'd obey anyone. (Reluctantly and embarrassingly) Lily. Anyone at school. A high schooler. Literally anyone. Riley well and truly debased. Loved this theme following through to this chapter!
I felt like Riley would surely have somewhat of a nervous breakdown, and she kind of did, so that added to the realism of the situation.
It looks like the girls will be out for revenge for this shower girl? I hope she won't become a third submissive girl added to the mix, as I feel the two girls are perfect enough and three could ruin the balance of the story quite a but, but that's just me.
Riley navigating through school was actually fun. Again with the submissive body language which is always powerful, and her sort of freaking out was precisely how I expect a girl going through what Riley is to act. The mental health heavy themes here exceptionally well done.
And shitting shits, the tricks that Riley's mind was playing on her was so ridiculously fun! Truly one of the most scenes! Her being fully clothed, yet she's feeling like shed walking around naked while everyone looks at her was outstanding! Riley then become increasingly aroused in class was so much fun.
EVERYTHING about the classroom scene was fucking amazing! Riley watching herself on the recorder video and it being on full volume, her growing arousal. All of it superbly crafted!
Im just going to say this about chapter 39:
Incredible! Captivating! Thrilling! Arousing! Loved every second of it!
) on Riley! Her squirming is fun, but then omg is the "you're soaking" and especially "taste yourself" stunning! Would love to see Riley having to taste her own juices so much more moving forward! Perhaps a new rule of some sort? 
Brilliant.