Water Play Day at Littleford Elementary School

[spelvin]

Miss Susan was looking down at her desk when she heard a knock on the door frame. “Hello, Christophe, come on in.”

Christophe Confiant walked in, wearing his usual cutaneous garb. “How did you know it was me?”

Miss Susan said, “I’m a people person. I recognize everyone’s personal characteristics. And that includes door knocks."

Miss Susan was the school counsellor. She divided her time between her work at her school, her graduate study at the local college, and raising two girls. Her dissertation was on nudity in the public schools. Christophe first enrolled at Littleford Elementary School a few years before Miss Susan began her work there, so he was a valuable source for her dissertation.

Miss Susan said, "I see you have something in your hand.”

Christophe handed Miss Susan a flier. “It’s from last year. I found it yesterday when I was cleaning up my room.”

The piece of paper read:

"Next Friday afternoon will be WATER PLAY!
Lawn sprinklers will be set up.
Water balloons will be provided.
Children may bring water toys.
Water slides will be set up.
The swimming pool will be open one hour after lunch period is over.
It is recommended that girls will school in informal clothes or swimsuits.
Clothing is optional for boys."

Miss Susan looked at the leaflet. “Was this a note for your parents?”

Christophe said, “Yes, but I forgot to give it to them. That’s how it ended up in my room.”

Miss Susan pretended to be shocked. “Uff da! You went to school with clothes on? On this day, of all days? When you didn’t have to?”

“No, I went to school naked because -–” Christophe looked up at the ceiling. “I forgot WHAT my excuse was that time.”

“Did the more confident boys mix and mingle with the girls?”

“Some of them sure did. I knew a boy who was a real show-off who chose a girl he had a crush on and ask her to go to the swimming pool with him. He would say he was having trouble learning to float, and could she please help him.”

“And did he really have trouble learning to float?”

“Heck, no! He just wanted to give her a good view of his thingamajig. And another guy managed to get in a conversation with a girl he had a crush on. She kept sneaking peeks at him in the wrong place, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But he noticed. She was really embarrassed when he said, ‘I’d let you hold onto it, but we can’t do that out here.’

“And then he got an idea. He told the girl he needed help moving his arms and legs in the water, and could she please go in the swimming pool and hold him up.”

“Did he really have trouble swimming?”

“Are you kidding? He was a champion in swimming.”

“It sounds like he was a champion in a few other things, too. There’s something else I want to know: Did all the other boys go to school naked?”

“Just about. Some of them thought they were going to wear swimsuits all day. But they got teased something fierce. The other boys said, ‘You’re a boy, not a girl!’” Christophe added as an afterthought. “They took their swimsuits off real fast. They decided that the girls whispering and giggling because they were naked would be better than the other boys making fun of them for not being naked.”

“So that’s avoidance-avoidance anxiety. I learned that term in class last year.”

“Come again?”

“Avoidance-avoidance anxiety. Are you going to get a flu shot, or are you going to risk getting sick? Are you going to eat your vegetables, or are you going to get sent from the table with no dessert?”

“Now I gotcha.”

“So how did these less confident boys adjust once they were deprived of their swimsuits?”

“They felt a little bit both ways. They kinda liked it, and they kinda didn’t. What’s THAT called?”

“That’s called approach-avoidance anxiety. The best example of that would be—well, you just GAVE the best example. I have another question: How did the water pistols and the water balloons fit in?”

“Some of the guys didn’t know what to do. They didn’t know whether they would rather use the pistols and balloons to fight with the other guys or use them to tease the girls. Wait, don’t tell me, I bet that’s called approach-approach anxiety.”

“You caught on fast. If you don’t mind, I would like to take this flier to the teachers’ work room and make a copy. So I'd like for you to go with me so I can hand it back to you.”

Christophe said, “There’s no rush. You can make a copy whenever you have enough time and I can come pick it up tomorrow.”

Miss Susan said, “And pass up an opportunity to be seen walking down the hall with a stunning escort like you? No way!”