The Disguise, Arc Two, Part Three

[skillbox]

I really love this story and the original one! I’d be curious to hear a description of what Ava actually looks like physical appearance wise.

To be honest, The Disguise is probably my favourite of your stories if only because Ava is a pretty expressive and fun character.

[*Lady Lucia*]

Thank you! As for your curiosity, check out the Discussion thread I just started. I may or may not describe Avery at some point, but right now I'm enjoying the blur style of writing!

viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1766&p=8009#p8009

[Hooked6]

I think your approach of keeping physical characteristics to a minimum is a good idea. In thirty years of writing erotica I can tell you that the moment I include a detailed description of a character (characters) I immediately turn off half or usually more of my readers. I used to get flooded with emails or posted comments like "Oh man, you ruined this story by giving her big" breasts," or "What is wrong with you? Why did you have to go into detail about her having a bubble butt?"

For every one reader that LOVES your description, I can pretty much say with certainty that there will be a plethora of readers that hate what you described, and trust me, today they aren't shy about pointing out what they don't like about a story. People have their own ideas of the "ideal" woman (or man); of what they like or don't like - that's what makes the world go around. Some like blondes while others like redheads; many like big busted women, while others prefer smaller or "more realistically" endowed women. The possibilities are endless to find descriptions of what people like. My rule of thumb is that unless a detailed description is important to the story (like in age regression stories having the protagonist having small features, etc.) I let the reader do the work and decide for themselves what the characters look like. Surely that way they can have a better chance of getting the story the way they like.

When people comment on wanting a more detailed description of a character, I tell them I intentionally left it vague and so they can imagine the character any way they want. A good writer gets a reader to USE their imaginations anyway - otherwise what is the point of reading anything? They should wait for the movie to come out so some casting director can make the choices for them.

Great story and THANKS for keeping things vague

[SDS]

Great chapter 2! Love this series!

Can't wait to see what embarrassing things she's blackmailed to do in front of the younger boys... the real question is will she be made to do it as herself or her little alter ego .

[*Lady Lucia*]

Part Three, posted!

[SDS]

Great chapter the suspense is killing me.

The answer her issue is clear... she needs to turn up as his new 'middle school' girlfriend keeping herself protected behind her new person in front of his friends

Although that might lead to him thinking of new embarrassing ways to punish her..

[*Lady Lucia*]

Part Four, posted!

Also, I should have mentioned in the previous post--shoutout to Debbifan for her Winter Contest victory! One of the prize options was compelling me to get my butt in gear and add a few parts to an existing story. I was given the choice to either continue the The Prefect and The Disguise, so here we are. The latter ended up working out perfectly, since it seems like SDS and I are about to have a deal about the former. :P

All the best,
Lady Lucia

[Hooked6]

Just re-read the entire story, up to chapter 4 arc 2, and a thought occurred to me after finishing this for the second time so I thought I'd share this by way of feedback.

Your story combines both female and male antagonists - each pursuing a different track yet their actions are certainly within the scope of the story. Both are VERY well-written and enjoyable. What jumps out at me, however, is the inherent tension and energy differences between the female and male antagonists.

From my point of view the dynamic of women taking advantage of another woman, especially if the victim has a weaker personality or is at a disadvantage physically like Avery and her less than pronounced endowment, the entire dynamic is MUCH more complex among the women than when a male takes advantage of a woman.

Woman can be so much more cruel to one of their own kind for so many different reasons or motivations. They can be jealous; they can be insecure and need to bolster their self-esteem by picking on another; they are much more competitive than men for reasons not readily understood by men. They usually hunt in packs. And, only women can understand other women - men don't have a clue what makes women tick or how to manipulate them. Women can sense things that are hidden from the average mortal man and that makes them much more dangerous than men as an adversary. The Dynamic among Dani, Chloe and Avery is much more interesting and you have done a better job writing this than in arc 2 between Will and Avery - in my personal opinion - not because your writing is poor but that there is so much more to work with among the women.

Women take advantage of other women for mysterious reasons and that makes a story about them much more interesting than one about a male manipulating a woman.

When a man takes advantage of a woman the assumption - which is almost always the rule - is that the man is a pervert and wants only one thing and it revolves around something sexual. It is much easier to look ahead and see where the story will end up because men are simple creatures with simple needs.

I offer this philosophical observation merely for your interest - not to get you to change your story. It is rare a reader can see these dynamics in play among the different genders in the same story. Nicely done.

Hooked6

[*Lady Lucia*]

Part Five, posted!

[SDS]

Another good chapter can't wait to see were this goes!
I can't decide if its all a set up though as she's all alone surrounded by boys in a basement