KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 35 Added.)

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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

Post by AllieNF »

jimmythehand wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:36 am
AllieNF wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:28 am
TheBlushingPrincess wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:24 am Wow. This sure has taken a dark turn.
...but yeah, I feel you, and I do expect some backlash on this.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're correct there but for what its worth, I don't necessarily think that would be justified response. While its not really my thing and has moved well beyond ENF at this point, it was clear the direction the story was heading and you did give a clear warning at the start of the chapter.

Personally, as I said, the story's not really my thing at this point but its well written and I'll probably keep reading to see where it goes.
It's actually not really my thing at this exact point either. ...but I've got a plan now. I am hoping to bring it back to it's roots after lunch time.

The genesis was about OON ...or at least "Only a small segment of the school population naked." The ENF aspect was more of an afterthought.

I'm with you. ...and I appreciate that you continue to read and comment and like even through I've deviated from what makes it most enjoyable for you. That means a lot.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

Post by AllieNF »

TheBlushingPrincess wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 3:21 am
Did not mean as a criticism at all. It just seemed so light-hearted at the outset. It is simply interesting to see how dark the story is becoming. Please don't take this as "backlash" at all. Not in the least. I am enjoying it. Perhaps I should have instead said that it is moving in a different, darker way than I had originally expected. I apologize for not selecting my words more carefully and more clearly stating my sentiment.
No apologies necessary.

I didn't take it as criticism. ...I'm just naturally critical of myself. Overall low self-esteem...

I think I took it in the spirit it was intended. It was my words, which were not as clear. I was very happy to get the comment and you were spot on, it's a dark turn. I didn't mean that you were the backlash. I'm just ...I guess I can kind of feel/assume it'll happen. IDK. I'm still new here.

You and I, we're golden. :) I trust and appreciate you. ...and any criticism I ever think I perceive from you will always be taken as constructive. I like a positive community. and this has definitely been that so far for me.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

Post by Executionus »

This part definitely shifted the entire tone of the story into a harsh new direction. It even stated it flatly at the end: The drama kids were no longer eye candy being sexualized, they were now targets of abuse for cruelty's sake alone. To be honest I tend to lose interest when stories shift from tension, adrenaline, and embarrassment to outright suffering, misery, and degradation instead, because for me it desexualizes the entire situation. I'm hoping there's some blowback in the next few parts (such as earning sympathy, respect, and protection from more of the student body than what's been shown thus far).
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser Part 29

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The Nude Fundraiser: Part 29- The Aftermath

As the students exited the classroom, Jenna was surprised as three people pushed their way into the classroom, 3 fish swimming upstream… Mr. Elba, Mrs. Apgar and Hank Turner.

Mr. Elba made a beeline straight for Gunderson and lit into him over this behavior like a torch dropped into a gasoline tank.

Mrs. Apgar and Hank Turner headed for the two girls, Jenna first since she was on the floor.

“Go see to her,” Jenna’s homeroom and science teacher Mrs. Apgar said, signaling the sexual abuse counselor over towards Emily, still crying in Gunderson’s chair. “Jenna, honey, are you okay?”

Jenna blinked and smiled happy to see Mrs. Apgar, “Yeah, I guess…it could have been worse.”

“Honey, it was awful.” The teacher said. “I tried, but I couldn’t get here fast enough once I realized what was going on.”

As she started to sit up, still wet from the pee, Jenna tried to forgive her teacher, “It’s okay, Mrs. Apgar, I’m glad you’re here.” Jenna’s face scrunched up and she stuck her tongue out a little disgusted when some of Emily’s pee found it’s way into her mouth due to her movement.

“I brought you these,” Mrs. Apgar said, showing Jenna she had two lab coats. “And I’m going to get you a fresh bottle of water from the teachers lounge or a lemonade or coffee or whatever you need to get the taste out of your mouth.”

Hank Turner was consoling Emily as the talk between the History Teacher and the Drama Teacher became more and more heated.

New students had begun entering the room, as the three conversations continued. The third period history kids were prepped and ready, taking pictures the very moment they came through the door to the class.

Mrs. Apgar tossed one of the lab coats to Emily. “Put that on dear,” and then began covering Jenna with the other one.

Hank Turner started to cover the crying girl with the lab coat, when a familiar and evil voice spoke from the doorway.

“I don’t think that’s in the spirit of this fundraiser,” acting principal Ritaworth sneered. “And I don’t think I’ll allow it.”

Turner looked furiously at the acting principal and walked over to her, as Mrs. Apgar helped Jenna to her feet. The two watched in shock as he punched Ritaworth square in the jaw.

“I don’t think I allow you.” He said as she fell to the floor. “Feel free to press charges, at least I’ll be able to live with myself over it.”

The conversation between Elba and Gunderson screeched to a halt at this. All the students in the classroom started aiming their phones at Hank Turner as he walked towards the center of the room and pulled a desk over. He climbed on the desk, reached up, and yanked the classroom camera out of the ceiling mount.

“In for a penny, in for a pound.” He said looking straight at Mr. Gunderson as he climbed down. “Come on you two,” He motioned to Emily and Jenna… and Mrs. Apgar by extension. “Let’s get you to the drama room and see how much of this damage we can undo. He got his arm around Emily’s lab coat covered waist and headed for the door. Stopping briefly to look at the heap on the floor that was acting principal Ritaworth. “You can bill me for this.” He tossed the camera at her with enough venom in his throw that when it missed her and hit the floor it broke into several pieces. He didn’t stop to look, but continued out the door with Emily.

Jenna and Mrs. Apgar were heading in the same direction, when Jenna stopped at the corner of the desk. She had seen Mr. Gunderson’s phone there and took a moment to look at the flurry of incoming text messages. It was on silent, so they just appeared with no sound. Jenna smiled and continued out the door. The last message she read was from Mr. Gunderson’s wife, it seems that his marriage was going to be history. “Larry, I’m filing for Divorce RIGHT NOW,” is what the message said.

Unaware of the message, but satisfied in the actions of Hank Turner, Mr. Elba decided he didn’t need to ride the history teacher much harder.

“Gunderson, you’ve always been a bully ever since we were kids and went to this damn school… but here’s the trick, moron. I know where the bodies are buried.” He turned to walk out, but stopped and turned back. “That’s not a threat, it’s a promise.”

Mr. Elba’s last action in the history class was to extend his hand and offer to help Mrs. Ritaworth up. As she reached for him, he retracted his hand. “You know, Mrs. Acting Principal, I do know a thing or two about acting. You suck at it.”

The Drama teacher walked out the door and closed it with a bang.

This whole damn thing was his stupid idea. It was a gamble it felt like it was paying off. He knew there would be some hinky shit along the way. He hadn’t thought it would be that bad. His short sightedness was his own attempt to bluff himself. It was time to call that bluff. …and since the website was down with no chance of giving refunds, he started thinking now might be the time cash out.

While the girls and their protectors headed for the drama room, Mr. Elba went to the Technologies classroom. At least 3 of the school board members were down there, it was time for a new plan for his nude plan.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser Part 30

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The Nude Fundraiser: Part 30- The Transition

Emily wasn’t part of the drama class this period, but today she would be. Normally she would be in Mr. Morris’s math class along with Lauren Wasnotski, who also wasn’t there. Lauren was the cheerleader who had caused Jenna so much trouble on Friday and girlfriend of Jacob who actually was in the drama class this period. As she walked to the drama room supported by Hank Turner the sexual assault counselor, she gave that information to him and sent a student to the attendance office to see Ms. Carol to send a note to Mr. Morris clearing the schedule alteration and keeping Emily out of trouble.

Jenna, not far behind the two, guided by Mrs. Apgar who most certainly was in the wrong place at the time, started to think she may have misjudged her father’s friend after his behavior in her home on Sunday.

The bell rang and Mrs. Apgar had to excuse herself. She did have to teach a class which had at least one drama student in it. She was afraid the students would become unruly if she wasn’t there, Jenna being near the safety of the Drama classroom and within sight of the other two was safer now.

She understood, thanked her thoughtful teacher and let Mrs. Apgar go to help the other students. After what had happened and the spectacle that had been created during Mr. Gunderson’s class, there were around 40 students in the school who would need the assistance of the good ones like Mrs. Apgar. Luckily, Jenna realized, since this was one of the two drama periods a little over a third of the naked students would be together in what she hoped was a safe place. It hadn’t been safe on Friday, but Mr. Elba’s actions today made her feel like today it might be.

Once inside the classroom, Jenna felt weird for a host of reasons, none the least of which she was now partially clothed by the lab coat in a room full of otherwise naked students.

The class had been without an adult in the room for a moment or two, so they launched into a hundred questions when the only authority figure they saw was Hank Turner-who had been introduced to them before homeroom.

Turner encouraged the two girls to go to the dressing room and clean up the best they could, but Jenna opted to stay in the class for now. Emily began to head towards the dressing room, but then decided to stay with Jenna as she felt safer not alone.

The class discussed with Turner and the girls abut what they had all experienced. Some of them wishing to be done with the fundraiser and not really caring about the status of the musical. While none had faced the level of activity that Jenna and Emily had, most had been forced to show off and pose in various ways throughout each of their previous classes. Several of the students had been coaxed into masturbation acts in front of their classmates. Cassie, the only freshman girl in the class, told of how she had been passed from student to student in her last class to be touched and fondled.

Surprising Jenna, Jacob was even having a hard time with everything. The novelty of being naked had worn off during the first period when he was asked to jerk off for his fellow students…while he had played it off and asked for assistance from other students, it was not jus the girls his teacher had allowed to come up and pump him, but also boys. He penis had become red and chaffed. Some of the boys (and girls) had squeezed too hard or pulled too hard and he was definitely in pain, but not allowed to go to the nurse. Hank let him go to the nurse at this point, as it was the only appropriate solution.

The tone in the room had become very different than it was on Friday. There was no longer a mixture of nerves and excitement. It was very much fear. The students knew that after what had happened to Jenna, the Drama Club President and Emily, the school had been given permission to up their activities.

A handful of the students asked if they could put some of their clothes back on…even if only for this class. That was a request that Hank Turner had to deny. There was still a classroom camera on in the drama room. While his actions upstairs in the history room would have been simple enough to recreate, those actions would be unmotivated now…and outside of the spirit of the innocent intention of the fundraiser.

There was a small commotion outside the classroom. Turner assumed that this was it and the acting principal had spoken to the resource office and was there to get him.

That was not the case. It was several of the other drama club kids from other classes. Still naked, but now here among friends. Mr. Elba had been having the students tracked down and pulled out of their classes, sending them down to the drama class for a meeting.

This batch of students included Carly, who walked straight to Jenna to give her a hug. Jenna held her at bay for a second, warning her friend that she had not cleaned up yet and was still covered in urine and other fluid…Carly was not dissuaded from her action.

The batch of nude students continue to trickle in and find seats or stand along the edges.

Jenna took it upon herself to grab the book from Mr. E’s office and start doing a headcount attendance check for Drama Club. Their teacher wasn’t there yet to tell her do it, but she knew it had to be done. As she emerged from the office, and looked at the room full of her naked peers, she shrugged off the lab coat. The room applauded her as she stepped up to the rostrum on the small raised stage in their drama room to take attendance. There was no humiliation, derision or embarrassment in this applause. They were applauding her strength to continue on in the face of adversity.

Jenna looked out in the crowd and over to Emily. She gave her friend a smile and made a gesture meant to signify that this applause was for both of them. Emily, still in her lab coat, smiled back at Jenna with relief and appreciation.

Scanning the room to make check attendance, Jenna spoke up to the masses, “You can keep talking, but keep it down to a murmur. I don’t know everyone just yet and if I call a name, I need to make sure they hear it.”

The drama club complied. It wasn’t hard to keep the volume down. They truly did want to talk about their experiences with their friends, showing support and expressing anger… but the looks and postures told stories. While Carly was driven to hug Jenna, there was very little touching apart from hands to hands with squeezes of support. They had known touching during the 2 periods and change thus far, their bodies wanted a little less of that now.

Jenna did indeed need to ask for a few names, but for the most part was able to find all the students she needed. There were only two missing, by her count and she knew them both: Jacob-who had gone to the nurse’s office, and Sarah- the pixie cut blonde who had become a fast friend in these difficult times.

With the fundraiser website down, Jenna didn’t know where Sarah would have been. She beckoned Turner over.

“I’m missing one student. I need to find her. I’m going to the attendance office to see where she is and bring her here.” Jenna told the man with a severe degree of urgency in her voice.

He agreed with a nod of his head, “Good luck, Jenna. Bring her home.”

With that she was off on her mission. Heading out of the class and down to Ms. Carol in desperately seeking Sarah.

NOTE:Skip the comments and continue straight to the next part by clicking this link: viewtopic.php?p=8054#p8054
Last edited by AllieNF on Wed Jan 12, 2022 3:32 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

Post by AllieNF »

Executionus wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 4:48 am This part definitely shifted the entire tone of the story into a harsh new direction. It even stated it flatly at the end: The drama kids were no longer eye candy being sexualized, they were now targets of abuse for cruelty's sake alone. To be honest I tend to lose interest when stories shift from tension, adrenaline, and embarrassment to outright suffering, misery, and degradation instead, because for me it desexualizes the entire situation. I'm hoping there's some blowback in the next few parts (such as earning sympathy, respect, and protection from more of the student body than what's been shown thus far).
I don't disagree with you. That's why I stopped watching the Walking Dead once Negan arrived. It became very obvious to me when I finished Part 28, that there needed to be a swing. And it lead me to an idea. We've talked along the way about the control that Jenna had over her own actions and how that had been something that was enjoyably in flux from time to time... I'm toying with something that amplifies that. I hope.

Writing this has been a journey of discovery. Some moments may be dark, but there will always be light. I like my characters too much for that to be otherwise.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 30 Added.)

Post by fluffy94 »

While the story may have taken a dark turn, it also shows human nature. Some people can take something that was only supposed to be a little embarrassing and turn it into something much worse. I am happy to see some of the teachers stand up for and protect the drama students and that the drama teacher is realizing his mistake. Don't be discouraged by the negative criticism, but keep writing as you see fit. You cannot make everyone happy.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

Post by Executionus »

AllieNF wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:37 pm That's why I stopped watching the Walking Dead once Negan arrived.
This isn't relevant or anything, but I just wanted to comment that I have a profound hatred for the overused zombie movie/show cliché of "the humans are the REAL monsters".

I'm definitely interested in seeing how the rest of this day goes after this hard reset the drama class is attempting. I also greatly enjoyed the fate of the sociopath principal, and watching Hank Turn-her into a floor rug.
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 30 Added.)

Post by AllieNF »

fluffy94 wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 4:23 pm While the story may have taken a dark turn, it also shows human nature. Some people can take something that was only supposed to be a little embarrassing and turn it into something much worse. I am happy to see some of the teachers stand up for and protect the drama students and that the drama teacher is realizing his mistake. Don't be discouraged by the negative criticism, but keep writing as you see fit. You cannot make everyone happy.
Thank You. I've been quite happy with where this going and In the end, I'm the one that matters. Though it's great getting any feedback to stoke the fires of my ego. :) Thank You!
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Re: KWC- The Fundraiser (Part 28 Added.)

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Executionus wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2022 3:06 am
AllieNF wrote: Sun Jan 09, 2022 2:37 pm That's why I stopped watching the Walking Dead once Negan arrived.
This isn't relevant or anything, but I just wanted to comment that I have a profound hatred for the overused zombie movie/show cliché of "the humans are the REAL monsters".
I opened the can. No worries. I agree with you. I stay away from most things that involve "zombies." ...For a while, I thought the Walking Dead was a good exploration of group dynamics...and then it was just silly. but... that's probably enough said on all that.

Executionus wrote: Mon Jan 10, 2022 3:06 am I'm definitely interested in seeing how the rest of this day goes after this hard reset the drama class is attempting. I also greatly enjoyed the fate of the sociopath principal, and watching Hank Turn-her into a floor rug.
Well played. Turn-Her into a floor rug... well played.
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