sarah the shy exhibitionist First attempt at a story-criticism welcome.

[Executionus]

This is coming along nicely now. The only real issue is that the pacing was far too rushed in the last paragraph, which should really be split into three distinct paragraphs (losing bottoms, cum panic and cumming in towel, the walk of shame back). Flesh out those three scenes a little more and this should be golden!

[Revengedpirate]

I wouldn’t worry about using a phone to write. I do all my stories on phone. Sometimes I do add Ons using my laptop but the 99% majority of my stories are written using my phone.

Based on your story, your writing is improving, the more stories you write the more techniques you will gain. Learning is always happening. I’ve written loads of stories, I’ve lost count but no story I’ve written is the same or with the same techniques as the last.

I’ve learnt to write in third party and first person second person from another’s point of view. I’ve also written silent characters and just conversations. So style doesn’t really matter as long as you’ve good content and can write.

Keep writing and learn every time you type keep up the good work and good story’s

[Executionus]

I wouldn’t worry about using a phone to write. I do all my stories on phone.

I just can't imagine torturing myself like that. I have a computer for computer things, that's the whole freaking point of them. I can type 80 words per minute on a grown-ass-man keyboard, but it probably takes me a full minute per sentence on some microscopic phone screen where every third letter typed is wrong and requires backspacing. And that's to say nothing of the difficulty trying to edit the text later, since the phone feels the need to auto-add smiley links and other idiocy every couple of words like it's somehow helping.

I sometimes make comments with my phone, especially when I'm at work, but typing an entire story on one would be agonizing and I would probably wind up tossing the phone eventually while watching it skip like a stone across the pavement.

[Hooked6]

I sometimes make comments with my phone, especially when I'm at work, but typing an entire story on one would be agonizing and I would probably wind up tossing the phone eventually while watching it skip like a stone across the pavement.

ROFL Too funny.