Debbi's sunbathing mishap

[Debbifan]

Part 17

Debbi was thankful that there was nobody else waiting at the bus stop but she was dismayed when the double decker pulled up and she saw how full it was. The game had just finished at the local football club and the fans were making their way back into town. All seats on the lower deck were occupied. "We're going upstairs" Jessica announced and the gang bounded up the steps, leaving Debbi to pay the driver.

Debbi tried her best to ignore the comments already being directed towards her by those on the lower deck and quickly tried to climb the stairs and find the relative anonymity of a seat. But as she set her foot on the lower step, she found her way blocked by one of the 'cats'. "What's happening ?" Debbi enquired. "They're trying to find seats. It's crowded up here too" the girl replied. Debbi was now stuck with one foot on the stairs and the other on the lower deck, her green bum pointing towards the crowd of football fans ! "Nice ass luv" she heard.

The driver, in the meantime, was getting impatient. "You can't stay there like that, you're going to have to move on down the aisle and hang onto a strap" he told her. "Yeah, come on, we ain't got all day, some of us have got dinner to cook" urged a sour looking women with her young daughter. Debbi reluctantly turned and made her way down the bus. She tried to keep her balance without reaching up for the strap but as soon as the bus lurched forward, she realised this was impossible and reached up instinctively. The result of this was that the under sized tunic rode up over her midriff, exposing the green tights entirely as well as her belly button !

"Mummy, why's that lady not wearing a skirt ?" asked that woman's daughter loudly, much to the amusement of the other passengers. "Don't ask me darling, maybe she forgot" her mother replied in an annoyed tone and with a scornful glance at Debbi. "Nice knickers love" a fan nearest to Debbi remarked. "It would have worked better if they'd been green" his jealous girlfriend added tartly. "I didn't know what costume I was getting" Debbi blurted out, which caused more laughter at her expense.

It was only a short ten minute ride into town but it seemed like an eternity to Debbi. The remarks became more and more ribald and other passengers got on, squeezing against her and pushing her even farther down the bus. "Ow" she cried, as she was sure that someone had pinched her bum. But looking round, she was unable to spot a culprit. Once the bus reached the stop by the main mall, she spotted the kids rushing down the stairs to get off. "Excuse me, sorry, excuse me" she mumbled as she pushed past amidst much tutting. She felt her ass being groped a couple more times and a chorus of 'get yer tits out for the lads' commenced from the fans !

"Why didn't you come and sit with us ?" asked Jessica, once Debbi had finally extricated herself and readjusted what there was of her costume. "There weren't any seats" Debbi replied. "There were a couple spare" said Nigel. Debbi glared at the 'cats' but before she could say anything she was distracted by voices behind her. "That looks just like Debbi" one voice said. "It certainly does. But what on earth is she wearing and what the hell's she done to her face ?" laughed the second one. Debbi turned to see the last two people that she would ever have wanted to encounter under these circumstances !

[spookyscaryskeletons]

im excited for the next development! i agree that it is getting a bit drawn-out in some weird ways, but I hope that we can still get a big finale out of this story!

[mikewozere]

Is it her male work colleagues? I hope so!

[TheWanderer]

It's a shame that this story has fizzled out.

The first couple of parts were pure gold, but it lost direction and became completely unbelievable.

I think the story should be completed though, it would be a shame for you to write 17 parts and not give it a proper ending.

Best way to end it would be:

Debbi uses her feminine wiles to enlist Nigel (who obviously fancies her) to record Jess talking about the blackmailing plot. Nigel then gives the evidence to Debbi, albeit at a price. Before he hands it over, she has to have a 'sleepover' with him at her house. Nigel will tell his parents he's sleeping over at a friend's house, and head to Debbie's. She'll cook him his favourite meal wearing nothing but an apron, they'll eat and then the two of them will curl up on the sofa, watch a movie and make out. They sleep in Debbie's bed together, and she gives him a handjob - so Nigel falls asleep nice and relaxed. The next morning she brings him breakfast in bed and he then gives her the recording before leaving.

Debbie then calls for a rendezvous with Jessica. At the meeting, she reveals the recording and says she's going to report this to the police. Jessica pleads with her not to, and Debbie agrees, on one condition. Jess has to strip naked and get spanked by Debbie. Jess agrees and finally gets her comeuppance.

[Debbifan]

I admit the story kind of wandered off course. As I have said, it was originally just the first couple of parts for the summer contest but people wanted a continuation. Though to criticise it as becoming unbelievable is a bit harsh, since that would apply to 99% of what is written on here and on other similar boards !

The other main reason for not completing the story, as mentioned elsewhere, is that the real life inspiration was seriously ill with covid which is not conducive to writing erotica about her. Thankfully all is now ok with that but I can't really find the motivation to finish things off.

My plan for the ending was that she had encountered two old rivals from college days and they whisk her away from the kids to the local night club to take part in the best costume competition. There they encounter a party of her staff from work and much embarrassment ensues from that. However, now the worst has happened, she determines to confront the kids and have nothing further to do with their blackmail. Nigel and Jessica are too busy getting into each other to be much bothered by that and the twins have always been the more reticent. Her work colleagues all have a good laugh at her expense but things settle down. The end !

Maybe I'll flesh that out and write it properly at some point but for now I am more inclined to look for something new.

[mikewozere]

Sorry to hear Debbi has been unwell. Glad she's better now.
Look forward to any new writing, whether this tale or a new project.

Mike

[jimmythehand]

I admit the story kind of wandered off course. As I have said, it was originally just the first couple of parts for the summer contest but people wanted a continuation. Though to criticise it as becoming unbelievable is a bit harsh, since that would apply to 99% of what is written on here and on other similar boards !

The other main reason for not completing the story, as mentioned elsewhere, is that the real life inspiration was seriously ill with covid which is not conducive to writing erotica about her. Thankfully all is now ok with that but I can't really find the motivation to finish things off.

My plan for the ending was that she had encountered two old rivals from college days and they whisk her away from the kids to the local night club to take part in the best costume competition. There they encounter a party of her staff from work and much embarrassment ensues from that. However, now the worst has happened, she determines to confront the kids and have nothing further to do with their blackmail. Nigel and Jessica are too busy getting into each other to be much bothered by that and the twins have always been the more reticent. Her work colleagues all have a good laugh at her expense but things settle down. The end !

Maybe I'll flesh that out and write it properly at some point but for now I am more inclined to look for something new.

Glad to hear 'Debbi' has recovered. Completely understandable that you wouldn't want to write the story at a time like that.

As far as the story itself goes, it may be true that it's lost its way to a point but it don't think that I mean it's not still good - it was just perhaps not going anywhere for now and I can certainly understand that you wouldn't want to continue a story that you hadn't ever intended to go this far and have now lost momemtum on, especially if you have other ideas you're looking to bring to the board.

Personally, I would encourage you to post that ending (or another of your choosing), even if it's just a summing up chapter. Partly as a conclusion for us readers, partly as some author 'closure' for yourself and partly because it will be nice to have a longer, multi-chapter story that actually has an ending! They're few and far between on this board (which should not be construed as criticism of any writers that haven't finished stories - real life comes first and no one is paying you).

[crazycollector]

Once she took off her bikini bottom in part 2, everything else is at least as believable.
Great story in any case.