Pants Fell Down On Date (EUM)

[femdestitute]

(Here’s a cute little EUM story I just wrote for here and DA, enjoy!)

*Sigh...* This happened last night and I'm still turning red just thinking about it...

So about a week ago, I had offhandedly mentioned to a coworker that I was looking to go out with someone. Ever since I moved here for work, I hadn't really had the opportunity to go on any dates. They said that they had a friend--only about a year or two older than me--who was also looking to meet someone. This piqued my interest, and I asked my coworker to help arrange something between the two of us. Before I knew it, I had a reservation for two at a local, upscale restaurant tomorrow night.

According to my coworker, their name was Aspen, and they were a bartender downtown. I was nervous, as I hadn't gone on a date in quite some time, but I thought this was a great opportunity to make myself look nice and try some new dress clothes. On my way home from work that day, I stopped by a formal attire store and found a nice button-up shirt and some classy black slacks that I figured were my size. They were a little out of my price range, but I figured it would be worth it to make a good first impression.

As I finished work the next day, I nervously rushed home to change. The timing was tight, but if I drove home as fast as possible, got changed into my new clothes, and drove back to the restaurant, I should be able to just barely make it in time for our reservation. I was already flustered about the idea of going on a date after this long, and the added rush did nothing but unnerve me further.

As soon as I got home, I urgently threw off my work attire and donned my formal attire without any hesitation. Spending no time to think, I grabbed my keys and sped to the restaurant, determined to make it there on time. Ultimately, it would seem my reckless driving was overkill, as I parked my car with over 5 minutes to spare. With relief, I stepped out of my car and made my may inside, only to be greeted with a terribly distressing feeling.

In my anxious state prior to the date, I never actually bothered to see if my new pants indeed fit me. Either I had lost some weight without realizing, or whatever pants I was wearing to work had shrunk, since the slacks that I assumed were my size were sagging pretty significantly down my legs as I walked. Additionally, whilst I was frenzied getting dressed for dinner, I seemingly forgot to wear a belt.

Now deeply frightened of embarrassing myself in front of Aspen, I firmly grasped my pants waistband and march into the restaurant. After ordering just a water for myself, I sat there restlessly at our table trying to conjure up ideas on what to say to them once they arrived. I waited tensely, checking my phone constantly to monitor the time in case they were late. What if they don't show up? What if I'm at the wrong restaurant? What if-

The stream of worries that were consuming my mind were interrupted as I see someone who looks to be roughly my age approach the table. They had shaggy, shoulder-length brown hair that simultaneously looked unkempt yet meticulously styled to appear effortless. They had a small stature, wrapped in layers of fashionable, oversized clothing that hung from them in a relaxed manner. Their body was studded with various dark jewelry—rings, bracelets, piercings, even a choker. I didn’t know whether to feel over or underdressed.

I introduced myself awkwardly, and Aspen slid into the seat across from me. Once we started talking, I gradually began to feel more at ease. Aspen had a very soothing, warm energy that made me feel comfortable in their presence. Whenever I spoke, they fidgeted with their rings and gave me this infectious, glowing smile which gave my words confidence. When Aspen spoke, their voice was soft, yet enticing. We hit it off quickly, letting whatever concerns I had prior to this melt away.

After a few drinks, I excused myself to use the washroom. The restaurant was bustling, and the dining room was full to the brim with both diners and energy. As I stood up, Aspen watched me earnestly, making me blush. I took a step towards the washroom and—

fwump

I had entirely forgotten about my pants predicament, and a haunting chill sent waves through my body. In a moment, I felt the indistinguishable feeling of my pants falling to my ankles. Nearby diners paused their conversations in astonishment at the sight of me.

Peering down in horror, I was reminded of another grave mistake I had made. Instead of any mature, or presentable undies, I for some reason chose to wear a pair of powder-blue tighty whities with blue polka dots, that were a size too small. My face turned beet red as I realized I had humiliated myself while wearing one of the dorkiest pairs of briefs I owned. Frozen in humiliation, I stood there exposed from the waist down as my date watched me in bewilderment.

Shocked whispers rippled throughout the nearby tables as several patrons craned their necks to get a better look at my humiliating predicament. A strained silence hangs heavy in the air, broken only by the distant clink of silverware against china. After a few seconds, I overheard some stifled chuckling at my dismay, and caught some other restaurant-goers attempting to covertly take pictures of my polka-dotted undies.

Snapping back to reality, I glanced back to Aspen's face and saw them holding their hands over their mouth to try and obscure their obvious grin, eyes locked on my powder-blue tighty whities. Frazzled, I bent over to try and pull my pants back up, hands trembling. As I bend over, the tight blue cotton of the briefs clung to the curve of my cheeks like a second skin. I hear the table behind my fail to suppress their snickers, and the unmistakable click of more pictures being taken.

Knees weak with embarrassment, I clumsily manage to yank my pants back up. I just felt so humiliated at this point that I didn't even care about the date, I just wanted to vanish. With every nearby eye in the restaurant still locked on me, I awkwardly grab my wallet from my pocket and begin to fumble around for some cash. While preoccupied with my wallet, my pants begin to sag again, making it halfway down my thighs before I manage to count up $50 and anxiously slam it onto the table.

Aspen, who up until this point has been radiating positive energy, looked at me with concern and confusion. Hiking my pants up again, I hurriedly stormed out of the restaurant to try and salvage any dignity I might have left. Hands glued to the waistband of my pants, I marched back to my car without looking back and drove home.

This morning, my coworker asked me how things went with Aspen. I didn't dare tell them what actually happened and so I said it was just fine. I tried to act calm, but deep down I was still feeling utterly humiliated. Surprisingly, they mentioned that Aspen had called them and asked for my number so they could leave a message.

This made me blush a little, as I didn't expect Aspen to want to contact me after everything that happened. After all, they were probably just messaging to ridicule me for my wardrobe malfunction and dorky choice of briefs. A few minutes later, I got a text from them that simply read:

“Hey, I'd recommend a belt ahah~~. See you next time ;)”