Spanking Humiliation That Was The Worst

[Tommy21]

I spied on my nearly 15 year old cousin after she had showered because I learned that by pushing on the door where it met the jam, I had created a space of half an inch, which naturally showed me from the other side of the door jam the entire shower area of the bathroom. I got to see her from head to toe totally nude, learn how she was developing and even watched her stroking her pubes. (Not sexually but merely after she had dried off her vagina. Of course she didn't spread her labia in any way, but I got to see her labia's slit because she had probably lessened her pubes in some way. So she had little bush and showed off her full slit. Tits in every way as she moved about, bare ass and her vagina, I got to see all of it. My aunt, her mother, was watching silently down the hall and didn't say a thing until she finally said, "Did you get a full enough view?" She made me jump and I was freaked out. When her daughter Paris (no joke) came out of the bathroom she tole her and me to come to her bedroom. I was silent and scarred and Paris didn't know what had happened. Her mom told her and Paris broke down crying. She even looked down at her body in her long night gown, perhaps imagining the full view of her that I got to see. I dunno. My aunt said she wouldn't tell my mom when she got back to take me home, but that I would be punished. Of course I said yes. In front of Paris I was spanked. In fact, she once spanked me through my pajamas when I was 8, and it was only 5 swats. That was on my mind when I agreed and walked over to her. She said to Paris, "You get to see this," and Paris was still crying and didn't move an inch. I was told to bend over her knee and I did. She said I would get 15 swats, which was so weird because that number didn't make any sense. I was petrified and didn't move and said okay. I had on my sweat pants and my aunt, with me accepting her hand's movements, removed my sweat shirt from me and I was reduced to only my sweat pants. She took hold of the band and really, REALLY yanked it down to expose my bare bottom. Then she didn't stop there but pulled them down my legs and off of my body and I was completely naked with my bare ass shown off to my cousin. The swats were hard and deep and I was sobbing after 5 or 6 of them. After 10 she grabbed me by my hair and said to me, "I'm going to stand you up, now. Don't you dare move." Paris followed watching me get pulled by my hair and fully stood up with my hands covering my penis. My aunt demanded I lower my arms and I did. Paris locked her eyes on my lower torso and I stood there humiliated beyond belief. The last five swats were merciless and I took them and my small penis was on full display for Paris, moving with each spanking. By the time I was swatted three times this way my tears were running down my cheeks. The last 3 swats were vicious. I had seen her daughter in the nude and she was letting me have it. My mom came an hour later and we went home and my aunt never talked about it.

Five years later my cousin told me just how humiliated she was; how she had a female doctor and that until that night, no male had ever seen her in the nude since her development. (When she told me all this, she was 20 and already sexually active and I was 17 and had only got to second base with my high school girlfriend.) Then she said to me that even at 12, she could tell that my penis was small and that she knew I wasn't hung like a man and never would be. She said she understood this about a week after my spanking, after she had got over her humiliation and moved on. She said that whatever lover I'd have, she felt sorry for them in the bedroom. I was in high school when she said that to me and I was humiliated to my core.

I have learned to fetish-ize my humiliations related to my not being hung and in fact being thought of as being undersized. I have also fetish-ized my being beaten up by a girl. But because of this event I could never get turned on by spanking. When I went to Burning Man I purposely would not get spanked along with my friends. I have never been turned on by someone being spanked and view it as actual humiliation and not fetish humiliation.