Suzy, with her fiery red hair tied back in a neat ponytail, sat at the back of the classroom, her green eyes darting between the clock and the teacher's enthusiastic rant about the importance of the upcoming regional cheer meet. She tapped her pencil against the desk impatiently, her mind racing with thoughts of victory and the thrill of competition.
Linda, a brunette with a smattering of freckles across her nose, slouched next to her, her eyes glazed over as she pretended to listen. "This is so boring," she murmured, her voice barely carrying over the murmur of the other students. Linda leaned closer, whispering, "We could totally win this if everyone just tried a little harder."
Their teacher, Mrs. Thomas, paused mid-sentence, her eyes scanning the room. She spotted the two friends and said, "Ladies, I'm talking about the raffle. If we don't sell enough tickets, we won't be able to go to the meet."
Linda straightened in her seat, an idea sparking in her eyes. She looked over to suzy and suggested, "Why don't we make it interesting? Like, a bet or something?"
Suzy perked up at the mention of a bet, her interest piqued. "What do you have in mind?" she asked, her voice carrying a hint of excitement.
Linda leaned back, a smug smile playing on her lips. "How about this? Whoever sells the most tickets gets... Well, the other one has to do whatever the winner says for a night. No backing out."
Suzy chewed on her lower lip, considering. "What if I win?" she countered, her eyes narrowing.
"If you win," Linda began, her smile growing, "you can have me for the night. But if I win," she continued, her voice dropping to a seductive whisper, "you're mine. And I might just have something extra special planned."
Suzy's eyes widened, but she couldn't resist the challenge. "Okay, you're on," she said, her heart racing at the thought of what Linda might have in store for her.
https://www.deviantart.com/noah67846/ar ... 1131114546
The week passed in a blur of sales pitches and desperate pleas for ticket purchases. Suzy had done her best, using her charm and persuasive skills to convince classmates, teachers, and even strangers at the local mall to buy tickets. When the final tally came in, she was confident she had won, boasting an impressive 546 tickets sold.
But when the envelopes were opened at the sorority party, it was clear that Linda had been holding back. The cashier's check from her online sales read 2,567, more than quadrupling Suzy's total. The room erupted in gasps and cheers. Suzy's face fell, but she was a good sport. "Alright, Linda," she said, trying to keep her voice steady. "I'm all yours."
Linda's eyes gleamed with mischief. "Your job tonight is simple," she said. "Just hang out with us. In the outfit you were born in."
Suzy's heart skipped a beat. The realization of what she had agreed to hit her like a ton of bricks. But she had given her word, and she wasn't one to back down from a challenge. She took a deep breath and started to peel off her clothes, the room suddenly silent except for the rustle of fabric.
The other girls watched, a mix of excitement and nervousness on their faces. As Suzy stood before them in nothing but her birthday suit, they all nodded in agreement with Linda's terms. They had never seen Suzy so vulnerable, so exposed. But she had a job to do, and she was going to do it with pride.
The night passed in a whirlwind of laughter and daring stories. Suzy found herself surprisingly at ease, the alcohol and camaraderie of the sisterhood helping to soothe her nerves. But as the evening moved on, Linda's smile grew wicked. "Man, I'm starving, I could use some food!" she said, her eyes dancing with excitement.
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Suzy felt like she knew where this was going, the obvious 'answer the door for the pizza guy naked' trend. "Please don't make me open the door to a delivery guy like this," Suzy pleaded to the others. Linda reassured her "Ha, i didn't even think of that! but no, I am not paying any overpriced delivery fee for cold food." Suzy felt much better, a feeling that didn't last long. Linda stood up and grabbed her keys, "but I know a place that has kickass chicken fried steaks! lets do that instead!"
Obviously they were not going to have her leave the house in her current state of dress, or rather UN-dress. "You are not about to make me go out like this, are you?" asked suzy. Linda looked over concerned, "of course not, I'm not going to MAKE you do anything. because of the bet, you are CHOOSING to go with us." Linda walked to the front door and opened it wide as the rest of the girls grabbed her arms for "support".
Suzy's heart raced as she was led outside, the cool air making her shiver. Linda had an idea for a midnight snack, and it wasn't going to be found in the house. She opened the door to her car and gestured for Suzy to get in. "Remember," Linda said, her voice firm, "the bet was for the whole night."
The girls piled into the car, their laughter bouncing off the leather seats. Suzy felt the eyes of the other sorority members on her bare skin as she climbed in.
As the car pulled away from the house, she took a deep breath and looked over at Linda. "Where are we going?" she asked, trying to keep the tremor from her voice.
"It's a surprise," Linda said, her grin unyielding. "But don't worry, you're going to love it."
The anticipation grew with every mile they drove, the tension in the car thick with excitement and a hint of fear. Suzy couldn't help but wonder what kind of adventure she had signed up for, and if she would ever look at raffle tickets the same way again.
They pulled into a deserted parking lot of an all-night diner, the neon lights flickering in the dark. "This is it," Linda announced, turning to her with a devilish glint in her eye. "You're going to be the main course."
Suzy's heart skipped a beat as she stepped out of the car, the cool asphalt pressing into her bare feet. "What do you mean?" she asked, her voice betraying a mix of curiosity and anxiety.
Linda took her hand, leading her towards the diner. "We're going to sell more tickets," she said, her voice low and serious.
The diner was filled with a motley crew of night owls and truckers, all of whom looked up in surprise as a naked teenage girl entered with a group of giggling sorority sisters. Linda strutted to the counter, her confidence unwavering, and began explaining their situation to the bewildered cashier. Suzy blushed furiously, trying to hide behind the menu, but Linda was insistent.
"We need to sell more raffle tickets," she said, her voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "And my friend here is going to help by being... motivation."
The cashier, a middle-aged woman with a beehive hairdo, raised an eyebrow but said nothing, handing over a pad and pen. Linda began writing down the prices for various daring acts Suzy would perform for each ticket sold. Suzy's eyes widened as she read the list - from doing the splits on the counter to serving coffee as she was with a smile.
The customers' jaws dropped as Linda announced their offer over the diner's intercom, her voice echoing through the quiet space. The room buzzed with excitement and whispers as the first few patrons approached, handing over their cash for a chance to see the naked teenager's antics.
Suzy felt a mix of embarrassment and exhilaration as she began performing the tasks. Each giggle and cheer from the crowd fueled her determination to raise more money for the cheer team. Her body was on display, but she found a strange liberation in it, moving with a grace she never knew she had.
The night grew late, and the diner's clientele shifted to a more unsavory type. But Linda's charm kept the mood light, her sharp tongue cutting down any lecherous comments to a dull murmur. Although there was a slight incident with a group of bikers who were more handsy than desired, Suzy found herself laughing, enjoying the thrill of the attention.
As the last customer left, the cashier counted the earnings with a smirk. "Looks like you girls have more than enough for your little trip," she said, sliding the cash over the counter. Linda beamed with pride, while Suzy felt a sense of accomplishment that had nothing to do with the wager.
https://www.deviantart.com/noah67846/ar ... 1131116985
They climbed back into the car, the leather seats cold against their skin. Suzy looked over at Linda, her heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with the chilly night air. "That was a fun night, can't wait to get home!" she exclaimed, her voice a mix of excitement and trepidation.
Linda started the engine, her eyes gleaming in the dim light of the dashboard. "You're not done yet," she said, her smile taking on a predatory edge. "Remember, the bet was for the whole night."
The car pulled out of the parking lot, the headlights cutting through the darkness. Suzy didn't know what lay ahead, but she was not ready for whatever Linda had planned. The night had started as a simple bet, but it had turned into something so much more.
As they drove through the deserted streets, the only sound was the hum of the engine and the occasional peal of distant laughter. Suzy felt alive, a thrill coursing through her veins that she hadn't felt in a long time.
They arrived at a secluded park, the playground equipment looming like silent sentinels in the moonlight. Linda turned to her, her eyes gleaming. "Let's have some real fun," she said, her voice dripping with anticipation.
Suzy swallowed hard, nodding her consent. She had never felt so alive, so wild. As they stepped out of the car, she knew she had made a decision that would change her life forever.
The cold air hit her bare skin, making her nipples stand at attention as she followed Linda into the shadow of the swings. She felt a strange mix of vulnerability and power as she allowed herself to be led into the unknown. The world had become a playground for their desires, and she was ready to see where the night would take them.
They approached the area of the park that the metal playsets seemed to float on, it's cold sea of sand unforgiving to the touch below their feet. Linda's hand slid down Suzy's spine, sending shivers through her body. "This is your next task," she said, pushing Suzy in the direction of the swings.
"Good girl," Linda cooed as Suzy reached the metal swing, her voice sending a thrill through the naked teenager. "Now, sit on the swing."
Suzy obeyed, her heart racing as she straddled the swing. The cold metal of the seat made her gasp, but she didn't care. All she could focus on was the anticipation of what was to come.
Linda walked over, her hips swaying seductively. She leaned in, her breath hot against Suzy's ear. "I want you to count how many times you can swing back and forth without touching the ground," she whispered. "And every time you do, I get to... touch you."
Suzy's eyes widened, but she nodded.
"Alright," she said, steeling herself.
Linda gave the swing a gentle push, and Suzy's bare feet left the sandy ground. She swung once, twice, three times, her heart racing with each arc. But as she swung back, Linda's hand was there, cupping her breast, a squeeze and a pinch that made her gasp. After three swings, she was starting to "leak" on the swing, and she quickly put her feet down to stop hoping to limit her humiliation.
"Three swings? You are a cheerleader on this team and you can only do THREE swings?" asked Linda in an overly sarcastic tone. "listen, any cheerleader on OUR team needs to know how to do better than that!" hissed Linda. Suzy glared at her, "Hey now! maybe if i weren't being messed with!"
Linda, shocked by the sharp retort from her naked friend, stepped back. "You are right. that is my fault." Linda looked down at the swing seat and noticed the shiny gleam that was a result of it being wet in Suzy's liquids, "I'll tell you what, looks like that swing may be a little slippery when wet," Linda said with a smile, "why don't you stand on the swing, then i can't touch you!"
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Suzy was ready to get her ass out of the pool that had collected on the swing set, and quickly jumped to her feet as she balanced herself with the chains. before she knew what had happened, the other girls produced a couple pair of handcuffs and cuffed her ankles and wrist, spread eagle, standing naked on a swing.
"What the hell, Linda!" she exclaimed, but Linda just winked at her. "This is what happens when you lose a bet, Suzy. Now, let's leave you to practice your swinging skills," she said, her voice filled with mirth.
The rest of the girls giggled as they backed away, leaving Suzy standing there, exposed and vulnerable. Linda gave the swing a gentle push, sending Suzy swinging back and forth, her bare body glinting in the moonlight. "We'll be back in an hour," she called out. "Make sure you don't let anyone else touch you. That would be cheating!"
The car's engine faded into the distance, leaving Suzy alone in the deserted park. The cold metal bit into her skin, and she felt the breeze tease her sensitive areas. She tugged at the handcuffs, but they were secure. "This isn't funny," she yelled into the darkness, but there was no response.
The silence was deafening, and she began to feel a twinge of fear creeping in. What if someone came by? What if a cop drove by? She didn't even know how she was going to explain this to anyone. But she had made a deal, and she had to stick to it.
As she swung back and forth, she couldn't help but feel the gentle sway of the swing become more and more erotic. The cool night air danced over her skin, making her nipples peak and her sex clench. She began to rock her hips slightly, the motion of the swing creating a delicious friction that had her squirming.
Suzy had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable, and yet so... alive. She closed her eyes and let the wind play with her hair as she swung, the gentle rocking motion building a crescendo of sensations within her. She could feel the beginnings of an orgasm, and she knew that if she didn't stop, she would come right there, in the open, for anyone to see.
But she couldn't. This was part of the bet. Linda had won, and she had to pay up. So she gritted her teeth and swung harder, trying to ignore the heat building between her legs.
The minutes ticked by, and she lost track of time. She swung faster, trying to focus on the cold metal against her skin and the way the chains clanked with each movement. But it was no use. The thrill of being watched, the danger of being caught, and the sheer absurdity of the situation had her body begging for release.
And just when she thought she couldn't take it anymore, she heard the sound of a car returning. The headlights swept across the playground. Suzy was so ready for her friends to be back, to release her...
Little Suzy and the raffle tickets.
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Little Suzy and the raffle tickets.
Last edited by ThatGuy2040 on Sat Dec 07, 2024 5:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Little Suzy and the raffle tickets.
This is my first story I'm posting and chose to post here because of the feedback. Not only in what I've written, but also where the story goes next. Let me know what you think and I'll continue the story next week!
- EddieDavidson
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Re: Little Suzy and the raffle tickets.
I love when new authors try their hand at writing.
Have you tried something called Sudowrite before?
You have a definite knack for capturing that style of writing.
My constructive feedback would be lines like this;
Suzy swallowed hard, nodding her consent. She had never felt so alive, so wild. As they stepped out of the car, she knew she had made a decision that would change her life forever.
This reads very much like something AI would include in their writing. I would try using more natural language. Imagine if you and I were sitting at a bar and you were telling me some hot story about your friend Suzy and the things she did this past weekend.
Would you really say "Suzy swallowed hard, nodding her consent. She had never felt so alive, so wild. As they stepped out of the car, she knew she had made a decision that would change her life forever."
I would put it in your own words.
Personally, I love 1st person, told from Suzy's perspective, or maybe Suzy's boyfriend, who is finding out second hand. This allows me to see through the character's eyes. I will tell you two things from when I started;
1. Write the kind of story you want to read. If this is what you like, then doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Post it up, and if people like it then they like it and if not they can read something else. If you don't it will feel like a chore. I write the kind of stories that I like to read. If you do that, then you will continuously be interested in writing.
2. Write. The only way to get better is to do it. I try to read twice as much as I write so that I can incorporate the things that I learn, and the style of storytelling.
I could write a whole book on the mistakes that I've made as an author, so don't be afraid to experiment.
Have you tried something called Sudowrite before?
You have a definite knack for capturing that style of writing.
My constructive feedback would be lines like this;
Suzy swallowed hard, nodding her consent. She had never felt so alive, so wild. As they stepped out of the car, she knew she had made a decision that would change her life forever.
This reads very much like something AI would include in their writing. I would try using more natural language. Imagine if you and I were sitting at a bar and you were telling me some hot story about your friend Suzy and the things she did this past weekend.
Would you really say "Suzy swallowed hard, nodding her consent. She had never felt so alive, so wild. As they stepped out of the car, she knew she had made a decision that would change her life forever."
I would put it in your own words.
Personally, I love 1st person, told from Suzy's perspective, or maybe Suzy's boyfriend, who is finding out second hand. This allows me to see through the character's eyes. I will tell you two things from when I started;
1. Write the kind of story you want to read. If this is what you like, then doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. Post it up, and if people like it then they like it and if not they can read something else. If you don't it will feel like a chore. I write the kind of stories that I like to read. If you do that, then you will continuously be interested in writing.
2. Write. The only way to get better is to do it. I try to read twice as much as I write so that I can incorporate the things that I learn, and the style of storytelling.
I could write a whole book on the mistakes that I've made as an author, so don't be afraid to experiment.
All of my stories: https://storiesonline.net/a/eddie-davidson
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
The site is free up to 100 chapters a day. You can get unlimited just for submitting stories.
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