Re: Extreme Therapy - Book 1 Complete Book 2 Chapter 20 Posted (11/14/2024)

[edithdick]

Ok, so I've started reading More Therapy and I'm currently on chapter 3.

So far I'm really enjoying it. There's a lot that I like and one or two things I'd change. I really like how Annie acts like she is vulnerable and traumatised, because well, she absolutely has been traumatised. I like how her body language does in fact reflect that in terms of not being able to make eye contact much and general signs of depression/self esteem issues. (Though I'd love to see so much more of that throughout)

... ...

Overall, I am actually really enjoying it! Maybe even more than book 1 in truth. I'll add more as I continue reading of course, though I've run out of time for now. I'll likely continue tomorrow.

Thanks for writing this btw. I'm thoroughly enjoying Annie as a character. She's got quite a cute, pleasant personality in spite of her trauma.

Thank you for the thoughtful feedback. As you said in another thread, it's a rather long read. I won't comment too much of your observations now, as most of them are answered in the remaining chapters. Take your time. I am hoping to wrap this story up in 3-4 more chapters as I have already decided how it ends. I just need to get there.

[Bucket]

So I'm currently in chapter 6 and still enjoying it quite a bit.

Reading through book 2, I can see why you gravitated towards the mute girl thread, and the more I read, the more I genuinely think you'd be the perfect writer for said story.

Annie, having gone through (and still going through) the trauma she's had to endure, and the mute girl, I call her Sarah for whatever reason, ocassionaly thinking about the hypothetical story, have so many similarities and situational parallels, yet there's more than enough differences to makes a fresh, original story with the same vibe as this.

Seriously, the more I read of book 2, the more I think you're absolutely tailor made to write the mute girl story. I sincerely hope to see you write it, though as I say, I don't want you to feel obligated to do so. (Though I am totally trying to pressure you into it, hint hint, wink wink )

Anyway, chapter 4 and 5 were good, but more from a storytelling stand point. Chapter 6 However is where it starts to become a great deal of fun!

I enjoyed Annie waking up naked, where clearly  boys where involved and did... something to her. Annie waking up with unevenly shaved pubes was a very fun touch and even a bit hilarious, and speaking of touch, perfectly set up a reason for someone to touch her in her most intimate place which I loved. Plus shaved is always preferable aesthetically speaking.

The Dr. touching her there and making her wet/horny was incredibly perfect, and the Dr. even noticing and pointing out that she's wet was very erotic, as was Annie absentmindedly playing with her breasts and the Dr. scolding her for it. SO much more of that kind of thing throughout please. Or at least I hope. I would highly recommend leaning into that a tremendous amount going foward. (Granted, there's plenty more story left, so perhaps you do in which case ignore this lol)

Annie remaining wet and horny throughout the day was excellent, and loved how patients/parents noticed. Also, I know I said it's preferable that you shake things up a bit in terms of Annie being fully naked all the time, (I'd still love a bottomless scenario, as a bottomless girl is always hot) and for the most part I still stand by that, but when the Dr. commanded that Annie remained nude whenever she's in the office, it kind of bypasses that.

It sort of makes it more... I don't know, structured? Like a sort of "naked at home" type instruction that makes the whole thing much better and there's not really any desensitization. Does that make sense? It works well, so kudos.

Josh then making an appearance and implying that they absolutely did do "something" at the park is excellent, and It not only leaves you wondering wtf they did to her, but also is in itself quite erotic.

The dog collar is a kinky nice touch too, so really liking that.

And that's about all I have time for atm. I may return a smidge later if I have tine and simply edit this to add more points, or perhaps just create a new post.

REALLY liking this more than book 1 I will say, and I don't know why I put it off. Definitely would love to see a lot more moments like where the doctor is touching Annie and Annie getting aroused and stays aroused throughout the day, though again, if that's where this story is headed, ignore this.

One last point that I'll mention that I forgot to earlier is that the doctor touching her down there, albeit as an innocent act, adds an element of lesbian/reluctant lesbianism that was quite erotic. Perhaps that's not entirely what you were going for, but regardless, it worked and was great fun nonetheless!

That's me done for now lol. Appreciate the excellent story you've given us so far!

[Bucket]

Chapter 7 was a lot of fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed the boys playing with Sophie/Annie.

A decent amount of eroticism, and overall just a fun read. Sophie peeing in front of the boys was fun too. Like I say, peeing scenes can be great so long as it doesn't get too weird.


Chapter 8 was also quite enjoyable with Heidi finding Sophie and Sophie feeling so relieved. (Despite Heidi being one of her tormentors and the reason she's in this terrible situation) Sophie freaking out before being found was a rather cute moment too.


Chapter 9 was very enjoyable.

The shower scene was very nice, especially the small details such as the way Annie/Sophie was enjoying the doctor's touch so much that when the Dr. pulled away, Sophie... or Annie... however you want to put it lol, thrust out her pelvis in a desperate attempt to get the Dr. to continue. That was a nice touch. I also like the cute puppy dog persona Annie has as Sophie.

Btw, Annie experiencing what Sophie is doing rather than just blacking out is so much better, so I'm very glad you took that approach.

Though as I mentioned before, I'd really like to see Annie experiencing extreme mortification on a constant basis when she's Sophie, or even when she's not and she's just nude/exposed. She doesn't seem too bothered being nude which detracts from much of what makes this story so good.

Being nude and touched in public has to bring with it the "embarrassed nude female" theme. This story would benefit enormously from it.

 The only thing I'll add to that is since Annie essentially is Sophie, it'd be nice to see Annie experiencing what Sophie is feeling to a certain degree. For example, when Sophie got frightened by the hairdryer, Annie also gets terrified of the hairdryer simultaneously rather than simply notice that Sophie is scared.

Here's where I have to point out something I didn't like. I really wasn't a fan of the Dr. getting naked with Sophie. In fact, if I'm honest, I just pretended like she was dressed whilst Annie wasn't.

With that said, I think that's a bit more of a personal preference really. I definitely much prefer the "only one naked" aspect of this story...well most if not all stories really. A bit of another naked/semi naked girl is ok on rate occassions though.

I hope that's not particularly harsh. Whenever I point out things I didn't like, I feel like I'm being a bit harsh. Just know it's coming from a good place.

Parading Annie around nude in her own school was incredibly fun, and I know I've talked about "desensitization" when she's nude all the time, but so far in book 2, you've actually made it work quite well.

One more quick thing I'd like to add is for the benefit of this being an erotic story, I'd love to see moments of Annie masturbating, or perhaps someone else masturbating her to orgasms. (Since Sophie doesn't know what masturbation is lol) Moments where either Annie is very aroused and can't do anything about it and she just remains horny for an extended period, or where can and does, or someone does it for her. Just a suggestion.

That moment in... I think it was chapter 6, where the doctor literally made her wet and horny was exceptionally appealing.


Chapter 10 is great, though considering Annie is walking blindfolded and nude in and around a mall, she'd be so ludicrously embarrassed beyond words can describe, but I suppose I covered that already, so won't touch upon that again for now.

The police officer stopping Annie for a cavity is extremely hot, if not quite unrealistic, but don't  worry about that at all, as most of these stories need you to suspend your disbelief, so no issue with that in the slightest. Wouldn't have minded a bit more of a detailed cavity search If I'm being honest.

The hospital visit I enjoyed, and brought about a little bit of that "dark" element that I like.

And then there's the bath scene with the doctor which I really loved. Very erotic, and even though the doctor's presence makes it somewhat of a professional setting, it once again added that lesbian theme which was fantastic and I loved how it made Annie so aroused.

The doc scolding her again for her body's reaction was once again great, and It almost makes you think "just let the poor girl get some sexual release already" It's almost like the doctor is inadvertently edging her lol, and I actually really like that. Again though, I just imagined that the doctor was wearing a bikini, as like I say, it's just a personal preference that Annie remains the only one naked.

And that's where I'm going to leave it for now, though I'll likely return for a bit more reading a bit later.

One final thought that I'll add quick is although a very submissive (preferably petite) female protagonist is very much my kink, I think it's fair to say from reading other's comments on this site that it seems to be the kink of the vast majority of readers here.

Sophie is of course submissive for obvious reasons, but I'd love to see Annie herself become a lot more submissive. Perhaps Sophie's absolute willingness to obey blends into Annie's personality, so even when Annie isn't Sophie, she's still a very submissive young girl.

Just my two cents. ☺

(Apologies for the ridiculously long reviews btw lol)

Edit: Forgot to add that I also loved this part:

"As I lie there, thinking of the way she had just touched me, I began touching myself the same way. I had never masturbated before, but even though it felt really nice to do, when I was done, I was longing for her to touch me one more time. It just felt better by her hand is all"

The fact that she's never masturbated before gives her an innocence and naivety that I loved and found very cute and endearing. She never even got to orgasm, which means she's now inadvertently edging herself.

I guess that means that she's never experienced an orgasm before? That in itself is hot as hell.

[Bucket]

For a different perspective many readers like it when girls take advantage of other girls and don't consider that "horrific" at all.

Agree.

[Bucket]

Alright, so it's been a little bit since my last post about More Therapy.

I've been wanting to properly sit down and binge read it, but I've just not really had the time recently. I has some time on Thursday, but my all time favourite story here had a few new chapters I had to catch up on. However, I have been reading it here and there when I've had the time, and I'm now up to chapter 19.

Certainly not the best way to read it, as taking the time to binge it is so much better, but you asked for my thoughts, and I wanted to try and give you as much as I could as soon as I could given the the time I had.

I've not written notes as I've read along, but I will say this: I've actually really enjoyed reading this tremendously. Everything leading up to chapter 19 is great! I find both Annie and Sophie acting all cute all the time is really nice, Sophie being cute because, well, she's a dog, Annie being the cute, enjoyable human that she actually is.

There has also been a lot of fun erotic moments throughout. You say you're not good at writing the erotic side of things, but I beg to differ. You're great at it! The doctor that penetrates Annie with the device was wonderful, though I'd love to have seen a lot more of that. I would just add a bit more detail to the erotic scenes and make them last longer.

That moment where Josh leaves Annie...or Sophie alone with those guys and they grope her, its incredibly erotic, though I would have loved to have seen more, as well as more of her pussy being involved. Granted, I know that the guys are basically sexually abusing her at that point, (which I don't mind at all btw. As you know, I enjoy the dark themes within stories) so I totally get why you toned it down a bit and took the approach that you did. Maybe if Sophie trusts someone, she'll let her touch her there without the biting?

I would love to see her groped at school though. Or at least scenes that lead up to loads of moments of eroticism. The upcoming school situation has me eager for the new chapters!

Btw, I know that I've mentioned that Annie remaining naked all the time can desensitize you to her humiliation and overall plight, but really, you've handled it very well. You really have. Sure, shaking it up such as "kinky dares" type scenarios such as removing her underwear with a tiny skirt, bottomlessness etc would be nice, but it makes sense why she's outright naked all the time given Sophie dislike of clothing, and again, you make it work do well.

Book 2 is definitely so much better than book 1. You've grown as a writer since book 1, and took what worked then and improved on basically every aspect in book 2. The only thing I sort of... not disliked, but kind of wasn't really feeling was when Sophie started talking. It almost made her feel like Scooby Doo.

You seemingly have retconned that? If so, I prefer that you've removed that. It almost made her feel like she was mentally handicapped rather than a dog, so it kind made me feel bad for reading about her in erotic situations.

I'm trying to think of something I know I'm forgetting.

Oh, the situation with Josh being in charge of Annie/Sophie is phenomenal. There's so much potential there for so many erotic moments between them! That moment where he commands her to lay down (or was it "lean foward"?) and she raises her ass up in the air whilst bending over, giving Josh a very... well, graphic view of her - that was really hot stuff. Would love to see much more of that kind of thing.

I really look foward to reading chapter 19, as well as the coming chapters. I'll read it a bit later, perhaps next week. Maybe there'llbe another chapter by then?

Really enjoyed this and can't wait for more! (As well as mute girl whenever that arrives. Sorry, couldn't resist bringing that up haha)

[edithdick]

...
The only thing I sort of... not disliked, but kind of wasn't really feeling was when Sophie started talking. It almost made her feel like Scooby Doo.

You seemingly have retconned that? If so, I prefer that you've removed that. It almost made her feel like she was mentally handicapped rather than a dog, so it kind made me feel bad for reading about her in erotic situations.

...

Really enjoyed this and can't wait for more! (As well as mute girl whenever that arrives. Sorry, couldn't resist bringing that up haha)

I really appreciate your feedback and am happy to hear that you are enjoying the story so far.

As to the talking Sophie part, this bugged me also. One of the reasons it has taken me so long to finish was because I could not figure out how to send Sophie to school. At that point in the story, I had started going down the path that would have had Sophie and Annie essentially merging into the current narrator... I ended up deleting two chapters (one of which I had published and a second I deemed unreadable) in order to change course.

I do feel like writing this story has been helpful for me to become a stronger writer. That was why I started posting on this site to begin with. This community has been a very good place for me to experiment and find my voice as a writer. Based on your feedback, I think you will like where the Mute Girl story goes. It will be significantly darker than this one. I will probably post a sample chapter in the other thread so you can give feedback if the tone is too off-putting, prior to my posting a new story here...

[Bucket]

You're welcome. I'm more than happy to help. Feel free to ask for any further feedback/bounce ideas with either this story or the mute girl one.

Based on your feedback, I think you will like where the Mute Girl story goes. It will be significantly darker than this one.

You have no idea how much I love to hear that! As someone who loves the darker stories and themes, this is music to my ears. Plenty of my favourite stories have themes such as suicide/suicide attempt, self harm, trauma etc. Particularly trauma.

My mind kind of automatically assumes that this mute girl's trauma is from sexual abuse, especially if you went with her being found naked on the side of the road, but do whatever you feel is right. Ambiguity as you mentioned also works well too.

Edit: I'm still trying to figure out exactly how quoting works when it's out of order, so screw it, I'll just copy and paste the the beginning part of this response, because I'm imbecile it would seem lol:

"You're welcome. I'm more than happy to help. Feel free to ask for any further feedback/bounce ideas with either this story or the mute girl one."

[Bucket]

I will probably post a sample chapter in the other thread so you can give feedback if the tone is too off-putting, prior to my posting a new story here...

You know, I should have asked, otherwise it's going to drive me nuts - Do you know approximately when you'll post that sample chapter? No pressure whatsoever. It's just, you've now gotten me ridiculously excited to read that chapter!

[Bucket]

Hey Edith!

Sorry it's taken a while to continue my thoughts. Then Again, I only had chapter 19 to read, but still. Chapter 19 wasn't a chapter I was into too much. It was fine, it's just the doctor going out in public in the nude and even urinating on the grass like Annie really messed with immersion a lot for me.

I feel like if people see a grown woman whos meant to be not only a guardian of Annie, but her doctor as well, walking around naked in public and even peeing alongside her patient, they'd ask some serious questions about her own mental state/sanity, and may even question if she's playing out some kink or fantasy at the expense of a vulnerable young woman in the form of Annie and call the cops.

Strictly constructive criticism of course. It'd be massively preferable if you dropped that for future chapters, but that's just my opinion.

Still, I really did love book 2 overall. It was very good, and the storytelling was very well done. And like I say, you've definitely grown as an author since book 1.

I really do look foward to Annie in school, and of course, because I can't miss an opportunity, ( ) the mute girl story too!

[edithdick]

School bells are ringing loud and clear; vacation is over, school is here – Winifred C Marshall

More Therapy – Chapter 20

The doors to the school were locked when we arrived. It was early still, so nobody had yet shown up. I wanted to feel nervous, but unfortunately, Sophie was in charge of that emotion and she was quite content to stand around waiting.

After a few minutes, Principal McDaniel calmly strode up to us very. “So I guess we are really doing this.” She said flatly as she unlocked the door to the school.

“Good morning, Principal McDaniel. Thank you for meeting us like this.” Dr. Crowe said smoothly.

“Yes, yes. Best to get her inside before the students show up and cause a stir before we can put this into context.” Principal McDaniel said. She pulled open the door and the three of us headed inside.

It was still an hour before the students were to arrive. I tried to listen to what they were discussing, but once we got into the building, Sophie was suddenly stimulated by the new surroundings. She kept bouncing around and jerking on the leash, trying to take the entire building in all at once.

We had been here a month ago and she didn’t really care. She kept looking around and I had this feeling as if Craig was about to step out of one of the classrooms or something. There was a memory of him being here with me. I couldn’t get it out of my head. Sophie must have been thinking of it as well.

“Are you prepared for your presentation?” Principal McDaniel asked.

Dr. Crowe smiled and nodded. She was always prepared to present. It’s what she lived for. “What time is the assembly?”

“Once everyone shows up to their homerooms, I will announce over the intercom to come to the auditorium. The teachers are aware, so we should all be set by 8:30.” Principal McDaniel said.

“How do we keep Sophie hidden until we are ready to go?” Dr. Crowe asked.

“There is a changing room near the stage. I’ll have Josh stay with her while you are talking.” Principal McDaniel said. “Where is he, by the way?”

“I asked him to meet me here this morning. He must be running late.” Dr. Crowe said. “Here. “I’ll go check on him.”

Principal McDaniel took the leash as Dr. Crowe retreated to the front entrance to see if Josh had shown up at the school yet.

Principal McDaniel was a sturdy woman in her mid-40s. She had a plain face and rarely wore much makeup. She was wide without being curvy, and projected a strength that most kids in the school tried to avoid getting on her bad side.

She wore a frown as she looked me up and down. “What am I to do with you, Annie?” she muttered. I was terrified by this question. I had not really considered that she would do ANYTHING with me… and now she was evidently deciding something.

Her stare made me 100% aware that I was standing there naked in the school hallway. In an hour, this same hall would be filled with the kids I had grown up with, all of them staring at me and worse. I didn’t even have Craig around to protect me this time.

For her part, Sophie was oblivious to all of this. She kept looking at Principal McDaniel with a curious grin, expecting her to give us some command to sit or fetch or some nonsense. It never really occurred to Sophie that anything bad would ever happen to us until it did... and when it was over, she would bounce back to normal after just a short break.

“Do you do any tricks?” Principal asked calmly. Sophie’s expression didn’t change. After an awkward second, I heard her say in a stern voice, “Sit.”

Immediately, Sophie sat on the floor, knees up to my chest. The polished tile floor was cold on my butt, but Sophie was so happy to have someone paying attention to her, I don’t think she even noticed.

Principal McDaniel nodded to herself. “Lie down.”

Sophie rolled over on my side, slid my legs flat, and then rolled back onto my stomach. Josh had been working on these commands for a while, and Sophie had gotten good at obedience.

Again, Principal McDaniel didn’t say anything to Sophie but merely nodded to herself. “Roll over.”

Sophie rolled over completely, landing back on my stomach about a foot to the left of where we started.

The floor was cold on my body, but at least for the time being it was still clean. If I had to endure this once 500 teenagers had been wandering around the building for a few hours, I was going to end up filthy.

“Up.” Principal McDaniel said, firmly.

This was a mad shuffle. When Josh practiced the Up command, it meant different things depending on where we started. If I was sitting, it meant to stand. If I was standing, it meant to jump. But from a lying position, it meant return to sitting.

After a half-roll and some leg rotation, I was finally back to the sitting position. Principal McDaniel waited to see if we were going to come all the way up, but when we didn’t she said, “Stand.”

Sophie popped up and went back to a standing position. I felt my face break into a huge grin when Principal McDaniel uttered the words “Good girl.” Sophie was so pleased.

“Hi, Sophie.” I heard Josh say from behind. Sophie turned around to see Josh and Dr. Crowe walking down the hallway. She tried running to meet him, but Principal McDaniel had a firm grip on the leash, stopping us in our track after just a couple of steps.

“Sophie, Stay.” Dr. Crowe commanded. She and Josh walked up to us without quickening their steps. I felt my tail wagging as they got closer. “Was she well-behaved?” Dr. Crowe asked once she had closed the distance between us.

“She is very obedient.” Principal McDaniel agreed. “I’m afraid she might be too obedient if you know what I mean.”

Dr. Crowe nodded. “She’ll need a chaperone who can be accountable around the other children.”

“I don’t have any staff I can spare to keep an eye on her.” Principal McDaniel said coolly.

“It’ll have to be one of the students.” Dr. Crowe agreed. “Here, Josh. Take Sophie for a walk before the students arrive.” She then took the leash from Principal McDaniel and handed it to Josh.

“Are you sure about that?” I heard Principal McDaniel ask as we walked away. Dr. Crowe began explaining how well Josh treated me over the past few months.

Once we were out of earshot, Josh said, “It’ll be okay, Sophie. It’ll be okay Annie.” Instead of going outside, he took me into the boys' restroom. We had practiced using the toilet, and he even wiped the seat off before telling Sophie to go pee. When we were done, he even wiped the small pittle of water off my front before bringing us back to meet with Dr. Crowe and Principal McDaniel.

Principal McDaniel led us to the auditorium. Behind the stage was a dressing room. They had Sophie sit while they went over the plan. Josh would stay back here with me behind the closed door. Dr. Crowe would give her presentation that would include her explanation for why I would be attending the school naked. She would field any questions and once everything was explained, Principal McDaniel would come to the dressing room and have Josh bring me onto the stage.

“What happens after that?” Josh asked.

“Everyone goes back to class.” Principal McDaniel said flatly.

“I mean, what happens to Sophie? You can’t just have her go to class like THIS.” He complained, emphasizing the problem by holding his hand toward me.

“Of course she’s going to class like this. That’s the point.” Dr. Crowe said to him patiently. “Annie needs to integrate with her peers. What is your concern?”

Josh’s mouth fell open, trying to get the words out. He managed to get out the word, “THIS!” and then grabbed my right breast.

“JOSH” Principal McDaniel shouted, causing him to pull his hand away and take a step back defensively.

She looked shocked. Dr. Crowe, on the other hand, had a small smirk. “It’s okay, Josh. We will make sure that she has a chaperone the whole time.”

“Who?” He asked. He might have been terrified, but he was not going to retreat from defending me.

“For starters, you.” Dr. Crowe said.

“As long as you don’t make a habit of molesting the poor girl.” Principal McDaniel said. That made Josh blush a bit. “I won’t.” he said sheepishly.

“We’ll identify others later.” Dr. Crowe said.

Just then, the bell rang, causing Sophie to flinch. It was the first bell. It told the students to report to the first class. In five minutes, it would ring again, and anyone not in class would be considered tardy. What it meant to me and Josh was that the school was not full of students. No going back now.

“Josh, stay here and keep the door shut. I’ll come get you when it’s time.” Principal McDaniel told him.

After the women left, Josh sat next to me, petting my hair. I’m not sure if it was to comfort me or him. Probably both.

The whole while we sat there, he kept repeating softly, “It’ll be okay.” By the time Principal McDaniel came to have him bring me on stage, I think he finally started to believe it.