Skylar21 wrote: ↑Wed May 29, 2024 10:25 pm
Seems like this is a utility chapter, to get Riley from point A to point B. Nothing much happens here.
Shame and humiliation may come back in the art class or whatever situation she is put in. It would be interesting if Riley had to interact with someone she doesn't like, to increase her stress.
I do like the story however and look forward to what happens to Riley.
That was the idea.
I thought the mask thing was a good way to get Riley home without being completely exposed to a party full of people, while still sticking to her rules. I understand everybody has their own preferences of what they want, and I won’t be able to please everybody with each chapter.
I’m writing this story for the fun of it, and totally understand if anybody chooses not to come along for the journey.
Emily wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2024 12:39 am
That was the idea.
I thought the mask thing was a good way to get Riley home without being completely exposed to a party full of people, while still sticking to her rules. I understand everybody has their own preferences of what they want, and I won’t be able to please everybody with each chapter.
I’m writing this story for the fun of it, and totally understand if anybody chooses not to come along for the journey.
It’s not about pleasing, I understand it is your story and you should follow your path despite what people want. Maybe the next chapter gets me on track again. Although I think it will be hard because an art class is quite protective environment with a teacher. Riley will be a bit humiliated, but like Aria said, the students don't mind a little nudity, they see it as business. And since she was naked in a party, little covered by the ski-goggles she is seen naked so the thrill is a little off I think. If this should happen to me this way I wouldn’t be bothered anymore if people say the pictures. And if party go’ers saw who entered the room as you wrote. They can count who came out dressed, so then it is obvious who came out naked. I think your blackmail position of Riley is cracking.
But I truly hope you can surprise me and get me back on track again because I really liked the story, until …..
Made an account just now because I have to give some praise for this story (I made an account long ago but have forgotten the login as I'm primarily a lurker, hehe)
As old as it is, the trope of escalation as the victim creates more blackmail for themselves in the process of trying to escape blackmail still works wonderfully. I particularly enjoyed the initial setup--running around an unfamiliar environment in just a towel--and the exposure in the mall. High risk of being seen is always good, even when it doesn't immediately pay off. It builds up the tension for the victim.
I read through everything posted so far in one sitting, the story is well-written, and (aside from a typo here and there) the words never distracted me from the story, so to speak. Not to mention, my goodness Emily, the speed at which you output chapters is incredible. I very much look forward to seeing what comes next!
Since you've asked for suggestions, my foremost hope for this story is an ongoing rivalry between Riley and Lily as the sophomores pit them against each other to compete for safety from exposure. Perhaps a cycle of revenge will develop, where eventually the sophomores will start leaving the decision of humiliating one girl up to the other with no consequences for choosing mercy, but the motivation of revenge on the girl who chose to expose you previously. I liked the previous suggestion of more complex challenges like streaking through an area at night. The older girls could also put her in situations requiring creative thinking and risk management to reduce exposure, leaving her up to her own devices to escape a predicament without a clear and easy solution.
Overall I'm very excited for future chapters. Have you written any stories before this one, and if so, how can I find them?
Riley buried her face in her pillow, trying to block out the memory of what had just happened. She could still feel the eyes of everyone in that room boring into her, could still hear the shocked gasps and hysterical laughter. It seemed like a terrible dream, something that couldn't possibly have happened to her. But it had. And now she was left to deal with the aftermath.
She heard Ellie and Aria come back into the room, their voices hushed as they closed the door behind them. There was a brief moment of silence before Ellie spoke up. "Are you okay?" she asked tentatively.
Riley let out a shuddering breath, her voice barely above a whisper. "No...not really." She rolled onto her side, her back facing her friends. "They saw me...they saw everything." The words tumbled out of her in a rush.
Ellie climbed onto the bed beside her, her hand finding its way to Riley's shoulder. "I know it feels that way, but honestly...I don't think anyone will remember much of what happened tonight. It was just so chaotic. You were gone in the blink of an eye."
“Besides, everybody was so wasted tonight...they won't remember anything. I mean, I can barely remember what happened myself," Aria said, trying to reassure Riley. She crawled onto the bed, sitting beside her. "Come on, let's get some sleep. Tomorrow's another day, right?"
Riley didn't reply. After a few minutes of sitting in silence, Aria finally slipped out of the room, leaving Ellie and Riley alone together. Ellie yawned, stretching her arms above her head before moving back to her own bed. "Well, I guess I'm beat. Goodnight, Riles." She snuggled under her covers and turned off the light, plunging the room into darkness.
The next morning, Riley awoke with a start, her heart racing as the memories of the previous night came flooding back. She was still naked. She winced, feeling the cool air of the dorm room brush against her skin as she slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings. The room was empty, the only sounds the hum of the air conditioning and the distant chatter of students in the hallway.
She reached for her phone, grateful for the familiar weight of it in her hand. Slowly, she unlocked the screen and scrolled through he recent messages until she found the one from Ellie. Her heart sank as she read the message again: "Be at the courtyard at noon." Riley let out a shaky breath, her mind racing with possibilities. She had no idea what this could be about, but she knew she couldn't ignore it.
With a deep sigh, Riley got out of bed and slipped on a robe, making her way to the communal showers down the hall. The dormitory was noticeably quieter than usual on this Sunday morning; most students were still asleep or out visiting family. As she stepped into the shower, she let the hot water cascade over her body, hoping to wash away some of the lingering embarrassment and shame from the previous night.
After drying off, she changed into a pair of jeans and a comfortable sweater, tying her hair back into a messy bun. She glanced at herself in the mirror, studying her reflection for a moment. The dark circles under her eyes and the pale color of her skin betrayed her lack of sleep, but at least she looked presentable.
As she made her way to the courtyard, the sun began to peek out from behind the clouds, casting a warm glow over the campus. The air was crisp and clean, carrying with it the scent of autumn leaves and freshly brewed coffee. Riley took a deep breath, trying to steady her nerves as she scanned the crowd for any sign of Ellie.
She stopped short when she saw Lily standing by the stone bench, her arms crossed over her chest. Her expression was unreadable, and for a moment, Riley wondered why she was there. "Hey," she said, walking over to her. "What's going on?"
Lily seemed just as surprised to see Riley as Riley was to see her. "Um, well, Ellie wanted us to meet her here," she said, glancing around. "I didn't really know what it was about either, but... here we are." Her voice trailed off, and she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
They awkwardly sat on the stone bench, the silence between them heavy and oppressive. Lily shifted her weight from one leg to the other, playing with a loose string on her jeans. Riley toyed with the hem of her sweater, unable to meet Lily's gaze. The air was tense, charged with an electricity that made the hairs on the back of their necks stand on end.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, their phones buzzed in unison. Ellie's name flashed across the screen. With bated breath, they both glanced at the message.
"Open it," Lily whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of their racing hearts. Riley hesitated for a moment, her thumb hovering over the screen, before finally tapping on the message. A video began to play, the grainy image flickering on the small screen.
They watched in silence as the video showed them, themselves, in a darkened room. The camera was shaky, and it was clear that it had been taken with one of their phones. They watched as the two of them, naked and entwined, moved together on the bed. The image was grainy and hard to make out, but they could see that they were on top of each other engaging in oral sex. Their movements were quick and desperate, and the sound of their moans filled the room.
Riley felt her face flush hotter and hotter as she watched, unable to look away from the screen. She glanced over at Lily, who seemed equally as stunned and horrified. The video continued to play, showing them in more intimate positions, their bodies moving together in a rhythm that was both erotic and brutal.
With a shaking hand, Riley paused the video. She couldn't bear to watch any more. "Oh my God," she breathed, her voice barely audible. "Oh my God, oh my God." She looked up at Lily, her eyes wide with disbelief. "I can't believe this. I mean, how could we not have noticed the camera? How could this have happened?"
Lily was still staring at the phone, her expression one of horror and confusion. Suddenly, the phone buzzed again in both of their hands, and they both jumped, almost dropping it. The text was from Ellie once again: "Check under the bench." They exchanged a look of fear and understanding.
Riley hesitantly put her phone down and reached under the bench. Her hands trembled as she felt around for something, anything. Finally, she found a small envelope wedged between the wood and the stone. Her heart racing, she carefully pulled it out.
She glanced at Lily, whose eyes were still glued to her phone. "Lily, I found something," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of their pounding hearts. Lily looked up, her expression a mix of fear and confusion. "There's an envelope here," Riley continued, holding it out for Lily to see.
Finally, one final text arrived. “We thought you two needed some time to get to know each other better. Inside the envelope, you'll find a series of tasks that will help you bond. Once you've completed all of them, the video will be deleted. Good luck, and have fun getting to know each other better!”
Riley's hands were shaking as she pulled the envelope open. Inside, there was a sheet of paper with a list of tasks written on it. She glanced at Lily, who looked equally as terrified.
"I guess we have to do these," Riley whispered, her voice trembling.
"I guess we do," Lily agreed, their eyes meeting for a brief moment before they both looked away. They took a deep breath, trying to steady their nerves as they scanned the list of tasks.
I LOVE the idea of continuing the bonding exercises between Riley and Lia. The surprise meeting between the two was also a nice touch. I can't wait to see what the dreaded list of tasks contains.
Hooked6 wrote: ↑Sat Jun 01, 2024 10:56 am
I LOVE the idea of continuing the bonding exercises between Riley and Lia. The surprise meeting between the two was also a nice touch. I can't wait to see what the dreaded list of tasks contains.
Hooked6
Thank you!!
I have a few ideas of things they are going to do together. But I’m definitely open to new ideas if you have any!
Dirk Egbert wrote: ↑Thu May 30, 2024 5:44 pm
Made an account just now because I have to give some praise for this story (I made an account long ago but have forgotten the login as I'm primarily a lurker, hehe)
As old as it is, the trope of escalation as the victim creates more blackmail for themselves in the process of trying to escape blackmail still works wonderfully. I particularly enjoyed the initial setup--running around an unfamiliar environment in just a towel--and the exposure in the mall. High risk of being seen is always good, even when it doesn't immediately pay off. It builds up the tension for the victim.
I read through everything posted so far in one sitting, the story is well-written, and (aside from a typo here and there) the words never distracted me from the story, so to speak. Not to mention, my goodness Emily, the speed at which you output chapters is incredible. I very much look forward to seeing what comes next!
Since you've asked for suggestions, my foremost hope for this story is an ongoing rivalry between Riley and Lily as the sophomores pit them against each other to compete for safety from exposure. Perhaps a cycle of revenge will develop, where eventually the sophomores will start leaving the decision of humiliating one girl up to the other with no consequences for choosing mercy, but the motivation of revenge on the girl who chose to expose you previously. I liked the previous suggestion of more complex challenges like streaking through an area at night. The older girls could also put her in situations requiring creative thinking and risk management to reduce exposure, leaving her up to her own devices to escape a predicament without a clear and easy solution.
Overall I'm very excited for future chapters. Have you written any stories before this one, and if so, how can I find them?
Thank you so much for your kind words and ideas!
This is my first time writing anything like this. I’ve always enjoyed writing but it’s almost been mostly just a hobby and my work has never been anything “dirty”.
I have a lot of experience reading ENF stuff and even some personal ENF experiences myself, so have been basing a lot of it off of things I’ve enjoyed! I’m looking forward to everybody seeing some of the fun things I have in mind.
Darky wrote: ↑Wed May 29, 2024 5:23 pm
I guess you lost me here. All previous chapters I felt what Riley feels, this one not. In my opinion it is way out of line with previous chapter which were to humiliate Riley, this on isn’t about humiliation anymore. Too bad……
I was afraid this would happen one time. Probably my last feedback on the story
I'm a little behind here and just got around to reading Chapter 14, the one referred to above. I read the comments first, and was expecting the story to take some crazy turn, but I honestly didn't feel that at all. In fact, I put myself in Riley's position and could feel her humiliation while running through a crowded party wearing nothing but a mask. It wasn't the most humiliating chapter to date, but the humiliation was there nonetheless.
Last edited by Blondie on Fri Sep 13, 2024 12:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
I should have a new part up in the next day or so! I graduated this week so it’s been a bit of a crazy week and hasn’t left me much time to write, but new parts are coming soon!
I’d love some fun ideas of what fun naked adventures Riley and Lily could get up to!
