Naked at The Holiday Inn

[Oopsydaisy]

Somewhere around the millennium, give or take a couple of years.

So let’s start at almost the end. Grace and I were still together, but we had broken up. That is our relationship was over, but I hadn’t moved out yet. Tomorrow I would be gone, but tonight, me, Grace, her sister Kathie and two other couples were going to have dinner, drink some wine and watch a movie. Well, I say couples, there had been some kind of mix up, both Jill and Sandy thought it was a “girls night out,” so they’d left the husbands at home.

The reason for the breakup according to Grace was my inertia. I was always happy to have things just the way they were, whether things were good or not so good. I was the proverbial frog in the pot of boiling water. I think she blamed me for making her the kind of a person that would have an affair. I think she blamed me for making her the one who had to press “stop” on our relationship when I should have been outraged and betrayed enough to make the call. And that might be the reason that she announced to the group that night that we were going to watch a very special movie, an epic comedy.

So we all sat back as she placed the dvd into the player. This was obviously not a movie. It had the look of a security tape. My heart sank, I knew right away what was coming. Sure enough, we were all looking at a hotel hallway. Nothing for a few seconds, then a room door opens and a guy peers out. He is wearing a towel around his waist. He tentatively slips out of his room, pulls the little bar that keeps the door from locking behind him and proceeds down the hall.
Kathie, gasps and says “oh my gosh Will, is that you!?”
And indeed, it was.

Two weeks before…

I travel a lot for work. That didn’t help my relationship with Grace and made it ridiculously easy for her to cheat on me.
Tonight I am sitting in a pseudo bar at a Holiday Inn in Fayetteville North Carolina. I say pseudo, because it’s the area where they serve the free breakfast in the morning. At night it serves as a bar for those of us who can’t be bothered to go to the Disco/bar attached to the Hotel. This is a big convention friendly hotel. This area is separated by a low wall with random potted plants sitting on top. I suppose it is meant to give us separation from the front desk that is only fifteen or so yards away.

I am sitting here by myself, nursing beer number two. I’m not much of a drinker, but like a lot of people, I drink when I’m bored. There are people sitting at 4 or 5 other tables, looking about as pathetic as I do. One exception is a table with two couples. Both guys look like marines and undoubtedly are. The two women with them are gorgeous and I can’t imagine them sitting with any guys who don’t look like these guys.
I don’t realize that I’m staring until one of the girls sends a huffy sigh in my direction which leads her man to give me a hard stare. This is when I decide it’s time to go. I get up and push my chair back a little too suddenly and it makes a squeaking sound that causes lots of heads to turn including all four at the Mt. Olympus table. As I walk by, one of the guys feigns a jab at me that makes me jump just enough to crack them all up.

I’ve already forgotten all about them as I ride the elevator up to my room. Once inside I strip down to my underwear and crawl into bed. Then I decide I’m hungry. And thirsty. As I said, I’m not much of a drinker, Dr.Pepper is more my jam, so I decide to go get a soda and something to eat, hopefully Fritos. Now obviously I can’t walk down the hall in my undies and I’m too lazy to get dressed again, so my brilliant solution is a towel. And maybe it was the one and a half beers doing the thinking here, but not even consciously really, I decided that if I was going to wrap myself in a towel, I couldn’t also wear underwear, because that would just be silly.
So off they came. Then I rooted around for enough change and proceeded to the door.
Now it was a bit after eleven pm, so I was pretty confident that I wasn’t going to run into anyone.
I didn’t have my key, but then I wouldn’t need it as I was going to use that door thingy to keep the door from shutting all the way.

I opened the door, looked up and down the hallway pulled the door thingy into place and proceeded down the hall.

And it was my lucky day, the machine had Fritos. As I was plugging my coins into the slot I heard voices and turned to see a couple of young guys walk past, eyebrows raised as they walked past.
“Hmm,” maybe it wasn’t as late as I thought.
I wasn’t as lucky with my drink selection. Dr. Pepper was sold out, so counter to everything I believe in, ultimately I pressed the Pepsi button. This slight delay, may well have changed the course of my whole night.
Grabbing my (ugh) Pepsi and Fritos, I left the little snack alcove and headed back to my room. At the end of the hall, the elevator doors were just closing on the same two guys. One nudged the other as they both stared my way. As the doors closed, one of them called out, “have a good night.”
I got to my door and noticed right away that it was closed. Setting down my (ugh) Pepsi and Fritos, I tried the door handle to no avail.

**On the tape you see the two guys point at my door as they punch the button for the elevator.
Then, one guy jogs over, pushes back the door thingy and closes my door. The guys high five as they enter the elevator. It is at that point that I reappear in the hallway.**

**Uh Oh says Kathie, looks like Will’s in trouble!

At this point, I still have no idea exactly how much trouble. I look over at the elevator and immediately decide that I do not want to ride the elevator down six floors wearing just a towel and cast about for the stairs. It’s an unsettling feeling as I enter the stairwell. The air is a bit cooler, giving me goosebumps and the feel of my bare feet slapping down on the concrete steps does nothing to inspire confidence. At about the third floor, the towel gives way and falls to the floor. I quickly pick it up and wrap it around my waist even tighter. My lack of confidence goes from almost none to none. When I get to the 1st floor I see that my only option is to exit to the outside. For a myriad of reasons, I know that this is a bad idea and turn and walk back up to the second floor. I push open the second floor door and find myself back on a carpeted hallway, but instead of guest rooms, these are conference rooms. I shudder, thinking how much worse this would be at 11:30 in the morning instead of 11:30 at night!

I walk around looking for internal stairs that will take me down to the first floor. My heart sinks when I find them. They are a long set of stairs with a “rest area” about halfway down before continuing to the lobby. From here I can see that it is probably 25 yards to the front desk once I hit the marble floor. I can also see the area where not too long ago I was bored (!) and drinking a beer. Again, I make a mental note that it isn’t as late as I thought it was, because everyone who was sitting there when I left, is still sitting there. And while I am having this thought, another one slowly enters my brain, “if I can see them, they can see—“

“What the hell” someone calls out loudly. I quickly take a step back as if to hide, realize I have nowhere else to go and then as if propelled by a subconscious force I find myself halfway down the stairs. I stare straight at the front desk, employing the logic that if I only focus on one thing, maybe nothing else will focus on me. Fat chance!

The sound of my bare feet hitting the marble floor sounds to me like machine gun fire.
When I finally get to the front desk, no one is there. I frantically look around, which is a mistake because I make eye contact with many of the people in the pseudo bar area. Most of them are craning their necks to get a better look. A few look positively thrilled.
One of the marines from before calls out “can we buy you a beer while you wait?” His comment receives a a few appreciative smiles.
Finally, a woman appears from a back office to help me. She has that look of someone trying to suppress a smile, but at the same time not at all bothered by the fact that she is failing. She does not seem at all surprised to see me. “Hello, I’m Veronica, how can I help you?”
“Hi,” I say, “I um got locked out my room.”
“Oh dear,” she replies, “how embarrassing.” With that she just stares at me, so I try to prod her along.
“Room 617.”
“Oh right,” she says, banging on the keyboard in front of her. “Mr. Johnson?”
Before I can answer, she says, “I’ll just need to see some form of ID.”
And again, before I can answer, I hear a male voice behind me chuckle and say, “maybe you can show her a birthmark or something.”
I turn and find myself face to chest with the same damn marine.
“My friends and I feel bad about your predicament and wanted to buy you a beer.”
I look over and see the two women I was ogling before, returning the favor and each giving me a little wave.
“Maybe another time,” I say, turning back to see if any progress is being made on getting a new key card.
“So you can vouch for Mr. William Johnson then?”
The Marine looks at me with a “balls in your court kind of look,” until I sigh and say “thanks, a beer would be great.”
He then does one of those side embraces pulling me to him, saying “of course I know this guy, Willie and I go way back.”
With that she starts to work on my key. While we’re waiting, one of the girls calls out, “Hey Steve, I spilled some of my beer, see if they have a towel or something.” Steve gives me a sly smile as we both hear appreciative laughter from the other tables. I’m pretty sure that this will not end well.

Once I have my key card in hand, I make a half hearted attempt to put Steve off. “Oh c’mon” he says, “at least come over and meet everybody.” With this, I am back in the sideways embrace and being escorted to Steve’s table at the pseudo bar. As we approach, the other Marine stands up and says “Hi I’m Mike,” like this is the most normal situation in the world. Playing along, I extend my hand and say “Will.” Mike takes my hand and gives me a hard quick shake, no doubt hoping to dislodge my towel. He does not succeed, but I do instinctively grab at the towel, which makes everyone smile.
Mike continues, “and this is Stephanie and this is Yolanda.” They both hold out their hands in that limp wristed way, like I’m supposed to kiss them or something. I just awkwardly shake them.

“Won’t you join us Will,” Stephanie says. She is blond and is the one I was lusting after earlier.
Yolanda, with jet black hair, says, “we really need to get Tricia in on this and pulls out her phone.
In on what, I couldn’t help but think.

“Phones,” at this time were at best flip phones. Picture taking was not a thing per se and while texting was going strong, many people still called first, texted second. Yolanda, however was a trailblazer and was texting away like a champ.

Meanwhile, Steph, as she liked to be called, asked Steve if he was able to get a towel to clean up the spill at their table. “Sadly no,” he responded, “they seem to be completely out of towels.”
“Oh no,” Steph said, “whatever will we do!?”
Yolanda, Yo for short, grinned up at me and called out “does anyone have a towel?”
One girl at another table nearby responded, “you guys are being jerks, leave him alone.”
This girl was very pretty in a very different way than Steph and Yo. Where they were muscular and large breasted, this girl was thin and elegant. Her two friends were very plain and a bit overweight. You immediately picked up on a leader/followers kinda vibe.
Her suggestion that they leave me alone was summarily ignored.

“Oh wait,” said Steve, (and I bet you saw this coming), “here’s one we can use,” and with that he whipped off my towel and tossed it to Steph.
And that was that. There I stood, completely naked, in a public setting, completely naked with plenty of people around me, and, it bears repeating, I was completely naked. Well no, not completely naked, part of one of my shoulders was covered by Steve’s massive hand that had me in a “don’t even think about trying to run kind of grip.”
And it was kinda like in the movies. My ears were ringing, so I wasn’t really hearing any sounds and my vision was hyper focused taking in everything in slow motion. Steph and Yo’s wide eyes and big grins, Mike’s shit eating grin, Veronica at the front desk standing on her tip toes to get a better look, the woman who called Steve a jerk looking shocked as did her two friends.
Before I could take in the the reactions of the other tables, everything went live again as people gasped, laughed and one or two even applauded.
I covered what I could and started to ask for my towel back from Steph, who oddly enough was not using it to mop up any spills. I say started, because my mouth was so dry, I found it hard to talk.
Steve gave me a good slap on my butt and said, “What’s that? Speak up son.”
This made me jump a bit which caused Steph and Yo to laugh a little louder.
This also caused Jessica, the woman who had called them jerks to stride over and demand that they return my towel.
“What’s that?” Steve said, “you want me to spank him again?” And then he did.
“I said, give him his towel back!”
“Okay,” said Steve, whacking me again even harder. It was all I could do not to pull my hands away from my groin and rub my stinging butt.
“Darlin’,” Steph said leaning towards Jessica, when he gets like this, you have to get down to his level and say the opposite.”
Jessica sighed and looked Steve in the eye and after a moments hesitation said in a very low voice, “spank him.”
“What,” said Steve, cupping his hand to his ear.
“I said spank him.”
Steve took two steps over to Steph and grabbed the towel off of her lap. He started to hand it to me, but then pulled it back and said to Jessica, “no, I’m going to need to hear you say it with a lot more enthusiasm and maybe throw in a ‘please’ while you are at it.
Thinking like I was, that we were so close, Jessica yelled out, “SPANK HIM PLEASE!”
You heard the lady,” said Steve, and with that he gave me two big WHACKS!
This time instinct took over and my hands flew back to first protect my ass and then to try and rub away the sting, really exposing myself for the first time. Panic and air conditioning conspired to paint a very unflattering picture.
“Huh, said Steph to Jessica, “I guess I steered you wrong.”
With that, Jessica literally huffed and returned to her table, where if I’m not mistaken, her two friends covered their mouths with their hands so that Jessica could not see that they were laughing. I’m not sure if they were laughing at her or me or both.
At this point, Steve handed me the towel and I gratefully covered up. I assumed that my ordeal was over and I think it might have been, but that’s when Yo chimed in.
“He guys,” she said, “I’ve been texting Tricia a play by play and she wants in. She says she got in a fight with Rick tonight and she is over at Razzles drinking by herself. She thinks our buddy here might be just the thing to cheer her up!”
Steph pulled on Steve’s arm and said in a baby voice , “ooh can we keep him daddy, can we?”
Steve reinstalled his iron grip and said “what do you think buddy, want to go to Razzles?”
I told Steve that I thought that I would pass. He tightened his grip and shouted out to everyone that I was dying to go! “C’mon,” he said to the group, “the more the merrier.” And just like that most of the people pushed back their chairs and stood up. One older couple remained seated and Jessica stood up and strode past us to the elevators jabbing fiercely at the “up” button. Her two cronies sullenly followed.


******************************2

Razzles was the poor man’s disco/bar attached to the hotel. Because it played music, it was down a long hallway, far away from the hotel rooms. It had two entrances, one from the outside for those really cool people who thought going to a hotel bar, where you had to pay a cover, on a Tuesday night, was the thing to do! The other entrance was for hotel guests who could avoid the cover by flashing their room key.
As we approached, I looked down in a daze and was pleasantly surprised that I still had my room key in my hand. The thought of having to go to the front desk for another key was not something that I wanted to experience again. And hey, no cover charge for me!
My luck continued to get better. There was actually a bouncer at the door and he pointed to a “No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service” sign and said I wasn’t getting in without them.
Even Steve’s charm offensive didn’t work. The bouncer pointed up at the ceiling and said, “see that camera, if I let you in, I lose my job.
Some college kid from our group piped up, “I’ll run back to the front desk and see if they have a lost and found or something,” and off he went.
He returned in record time with a big ol grin on his face. “I got these,” he said, holding out a pair of pink flip flops about two sizes too small and a woman’s shirt with spaghetti straps that was also about two sizes too small. So much for my good luck. I looked ridiculous, which was saying something.
“Now once you get in there,” the bouncer said, “my job is over. I don’t care what you have on once you’re through that door.”
“Thanks for that,” I thought.
Once through the door, Mike immediately liberated the shirt from my chest and honestly, I was not disappointed.
“Oh look,” said Yo, “there’s Tricia.” Sure enough, waving at us from across the room was a a very pretty girl, black hair like Yo’s and of course, a dynamite figure.
Needless to say, as we made our way to Tricia, our little entourage was noticed. For the most part, people didn’t seem stunned as much as amused. I got the impression that maybe Tricia had been talking up my arrival.
And speaking of Tricia, she gave out a little squeal as we approached and then ran up and gave me a bear hug. “Oh Will, I’ve heard so much about you. Thanks so much for coming.” Then she grabbed me by both arms and said “let me take a look at you!” And then she did. “Well aren’t you the cutest thing! I could just eat you up!” And part of me believed that she could.
“It wouldn’t be much of a meal,” said Steph, pointedly looking at my crotch. Everybody cracked up. “Well, to be fair,” she added, “we haven’t seen his full potential…yet…”
“Oh,” said Tricia, “I saved us a booth.” Steph slid in first and then patted the bench and said “c’mon Willie, you’re next to me.”
Yo slid in after me. On the other side it was Mike then Tricia then Steve. It was very surreal. I finally had a second to stop and take this all in. I was sitting in a dimly lit bar/disco with beautiful women on either side of me and a third directly across from me and oh yeah, I was dressed in a towel (and flip flops).
I was staring down at the table, trying in vain to formulate an escape plan when I was startled by someone saying “well, well, what do we have here?”
I looked up and there was our waitress.
“Hey everybody,” Tricia said, “this is Shannon, she helped me secure this booth, said it was the best one in the house. And, she’s Irish!”
“Naw,” she said, “I just put this on to get better tips,” and winked at me. Somehow, with her curly red hair and green eyes, I’m pretty sure she was Irish, and with the light haloed behind her, I thought she looked angelic. Yeah, no.
By the way, her name wasn’t really Shannon, it was something like Shelaugh or Shelaighn, but I never quite got it, so we’re going with Shannon.
We went around the table introducing ourselves. She smiled at me and repeated my name. “Will Johnson, Willie Johnson. So both your names are stand ins for ‘pecker.’”
There was silence at the table as the penny dropped and then everybody cracked up, causing people at the bar and other tables to turn and stare at us, not for the first time and not for the last.
It was at this moment that yet another woman approached our table and asked if it was true that I was part of some university study on nudity. I stared at her, trying to decide if there was an answer that could possibly not be humiliating, when Shannon broke in.
“Oh I’m afraid that’s my fault. I’ve been giving every table and booth a different story. Some think you’re part of a university study, some think you’re an exhibitionist, some think you lost a bet and that table over there thinks that you are sleep walking.”
“So, not a university study then,” the girl asked, confused.
“Hey,” said Steve addressing this new girl and obviously bored by her question, “do you think our friend Will here looks better with a towel or without?”
“Well,” she said, drawing it out, “I couldn’t say because I’ve only ever seen him with a towel.”
“Fair point,” says Shannon, “I quite agree.”
With that, Steve crouches down, reaches under the table and yanks off my towel…again.
Now you might be picturing something like the trick where the tablecloth is removed and all the glasses and plates remain in place, but no. Remember I was sitting on this thing, so I go with it halfway under the table. Steph and Yo have to heave me back into place, no easy trick as hard as they are laughing. The girl leans over to get a better look and then snorts, “not much difference either way.” Mike and Steve exchange a glance and wince on my behalf.
“Now now,” says Shannon, “give it time, I’m sure he’ll grow on you.”
With that the girl walks away and Shannon asks us about drinks.
Steve orders for the table, a shot and a beer for everyone.
As Shannon begins to walk away, Steve reaches out for her arm and she leans in so that he can whisper something to her. She pulls away and throws her head back with laughter.
“Be right back boys and girls.”
Steve gives me a sly grin and wraps my towel around his neck, letting everyone who might have missed it know that I am completely naked.
Shannon is back a few minutes later with a full tray. She gives Steve a wink and then launches into a little speech. “Okay,” she says, this is how it’s going to work. I put a shot down in front of you and you down it immediately. Then and only then will I set down your beer. Now, ladies first.
She reaches over and places a shot in front of Steph who downs it just as instructed. Her beer is then ceremoniously placed in front of her as the others clap. Then Yo and then Tricia. “And now for the boys.” Mike is served and then Steve. “And last but not least, our celebrity of the evening.” She places the shot in front of me and I gratefully throw it back, thinking that anything that might alter this reality can only help. “Good boy,” says Shannon, “and here is your beer!”
She goes to set the glass in front of me, but she seems to lose her balance a bit and the next thing I know the whole beer is poured in my lap.
Cold doesn’t even begin to describe the sensation. I arch my back and scream out, much to the amusement of Steve, Tricia, Mike and Shannon. Steph and Yo are not as amused. They are also jumping, trying to avoid the spillage. For Yo this is easy as she jumps up out of the booth.
Steph is cursing Steve, all too aware of who instigated this. He laughingly tosses her my towel so that she can dab at her shorts and keep anymore beer from heading her way.
Shannon feigns embarrassment, calling out “oh my I’m so so sorry, here let me help.”
She grabs my arm and guides me out of the booth. Of course, everyone has heard the commotion and was already looking our way and now I am standing there in plain view with a dripping wet crotch. Shannon has taken the towel from Steph and is pushing it back and forth across the bench. Finally she backs out from the booth and wipes her brow with back of her hand.
“Whew,” she says, “I think that’s got it.”
Then she turns and looks at me. “Oh Dear, aren’t you a sight. We better take care of you as well.”

“I can do it,” I say, reaching for the towel, but Shannon pulls it out of reach.
“With this dirty rag, you must be joking?! Let me go get you a clean one.”
She has a point, the towel is soaking wet and stained.
As she heads off, I turn to slide back into the booth, but Yo is already sitting there, blocking my way. “Are you kidding,” she says, “you aren’t getting back in here until you’re cleaned up.”
So there I stand, squirming to everyone’s delight.
A few minutes later, Shannon is back with a spray water bottle and some cocktail napkins.
“Sorry darling, but I couldn’t find a towel. Now stand up straight so I can take care of you.” Before I can protest, she starts spraying my crotch and thighs with the water bottle and then proceeds to dab at me with the cocktail napkins.
At this point my brain is trying to do two things at once, not notice that this very sexy red head’s fingers are touching me and very much notice that they are! When I am at about half mast, Shannon stops, gives me one last pinch and declares, “all done.”
I give out a deep sigh both in frustration and relief.
Now I have had my back to the booth this whole time, so it is left to Tricia to inform Shannon that she missed a spot.
“Oh good lord,” she says, “we forgot your arse didn’t we? Okay love, turn around so we can take care of it.” Now this definitely tips the scales from erotic to total humiliation as I stare into the eyes of my seat mates while water is sprayed on my butt.
“That’s got it,”, says Shannon, giving me a loud smack on my right butt cheek, “let’s let that air dry. Another round everybody?”
Yo makes we wait another few minutes and after a few pats to ensure that I’m dry, stands up to let me back in.
After I slide back in, Tricia starts asking me if I am enjoying this. “It’s only because you seemed like you were getting kind of excited just then.”
I don’t respond, because really, what could I say.
I look away, towards the hotel bar entrance that we had passed through earlier and see Jessica and her two buddies from earlier, coming through the door.
What the hell!? I’m guessing her two buddies worked on her.
“C’mon, we’re missing all the fun.” Or maybe, “what if he needs our help.” And Jessica buys in to this, because maybe she can help me or maybe, if she admits it to herself, the whole naked, spanking thing was kind of a turn on.
I’m thinking this through when suddenly there is a foot stroking my calves. I shoot a look over at Tricia and then turn to see that Jessica and company have sat down at a table and are scanning the bar until our eyes lock. One of the girls gives me a little wave and Jessica quickly pulls the girls arm down and the three of them laugh.
Meanwhile Tricia’s foot starts in on my thigh. She is long legged, so she can do this without having to adjust herself on the bench.
She starts in again, “were you real excited or just kind of excited?”
Steph interjects, “because if you were real excited, well, that would just be sad.”
And just like that, Tricia’s foot was on my cock. And if I thought a cold beer to the crotch was a shock, this was something else again. And just like the beer, I bolted upright, clueing others in on my predicament.
“Oh he was only kind of excited before,” said Steph. “Definitely,” laughs Yo looking down at my crotch.
At this point Tricia stands and leans as best she can to take a look for herself. “Cool” she says, plopping back down and immediately resuming the foot massage.
“Please no,” I manage to half whisper, but she is relentless. Yo reaches down and starts to massage my thigh. Steph turns and puts her lips right to my ear and whispers, “c’mon tiger, show us what you can do.” My eyes are closed tight and I keep moaning, “no, no, no,” but it is no use, my back arches and I let out an uuugggh and cum all over my chest.
Steph and Yo both pat my shoulders and almost soothingly say “good boy, good boy.”
I finally open my eyes and I am greeted by a devilish smile on Tricia’s face. I look beyond her and there is Jessica, eyes wide and one hand covering her mouth staring right at me.
“Sorry it took so long to get back over he…whoa what happened here,” Shannon asked, although I’m pretty sure that she knew the answer.
“Lord she said, you know I do have other customers. Let me get you something to clean yourself up with.” She came right back with a damp washcloth and tossed it to me. “You can do it yourself this time.”
As I was cleaning myself up, Mike yawned and said, “well I think we’ve gotten all the entertainment we can out of Willie here, I say we call it a night. Yep, me too said Steve as he slid off the booth and stood up and stretched. The girls seemed a bit more reluctant, but started to get up as well.
At this point Shannon, came over and said, “ah, you’ve heard then?”
“Heard what,” asked Steve?
“Since it’s almost closing time, we are kicking out all the men, except you sweetie,” she said, throwing me a wink. “We have one more special surprise for you.”
Steve and Mike laughed and Steve said, “alright ladies, have fun.” And with that, they joined a steady stream of men out the door. A few women left with them, but not very many.
A woman walked over to our booth and handed Shannon a bowl filled with scraps of paper.
“Ah,” she said looking at Steph, Tricia and Yo, “I think you are the last three.” She handed them each a small piece of paper and a pen and instructed them to write their names on the paper and throw them into the bowl.
“What is this for,” asked Tricia?
“Well that is part of the surprise isn’t it?” Shannon replied.
“I think we’ve had our fun,” Tricia said. “We don’t want to hog lover boy all night.” And with that she gave me a gentle pat on the cheek followed by a quick kiss. Yo and Steph did the same and bade me good night as I was led by away from the table by Shannon. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” laughed Tricia, not exactly giving me comfort.
Oddly, I felt a little abandoned and alone, even though I was in a room with about 20 women and, I can’t stress this enough, still naked.

It’s weird, I can’t explain why I didn’t just walk out or at least try. Before I had Steve and Mike keeping me in place, but now they were gone. And yet, I was in a kind of fog at this point, letting myself be led from event to event.
Sensing this, Shannon guided me to the center of the small dance floor where two chairs had been placed directly across from each other.
“You stand right here love.” She then turned and faced her small crowd.
“Okay ladies, one last party game as it were before you’re on your way. Two of you will be selected to compete in what we are calling a ‘Spank-Off’.”
With that she pulled two names out of the bowl and called out, “can I have Summer and Jessica please.”
Summer, a tall pretty blonde let out a loud YES, and did a fist pump into the air. Jessica, my Jessica, my protector early on, was much more restrained, but I couldn’t help notice a small smile creep onto her face.
“So,” continued Shannon, “Ladies to your chairs. Each of you will get a but cheek of your very own…Oh lord I almost forgot. Summer, Red or Black?” And with that she produced two Sharpies. Summer chose Red.
“Okay, now I need two volunteers to mark each cheek for me.”
Jessica’s two buddies were chosen and each was handed a sharpie, one got red and the other got black.
With that she had me turn around so I was no longer facing the crowd, which put my butt center stage.
“Now since Summer got to pick the color, you can pick your cheek,” she said to Jessica.
“Alright dear,” Shannon said to one of the girls, “put a red dot on that cheek to mark it as Summers and make it big enough to see clearly.”
When she was done, the room tittered a bit and there was scattered applause. Turns out my cheek now sported a big red heart.
“Nice!” Said Shannon, turning to the other girl, “looks like the gauntlet has been thrown!”
At first, I thought this other girl wasn’t up to the challenge as she proceed to draw what even I could tell was a simple black dot. But then she was all over the place and I couldn’t figure out what the hell she was doing. This time there was outright laughter and more applause.
“Well I think that’s one point for Team Jessica. A lovelier bulls-eye I’ve never seen,” mused Shannon.
“Okay ladies, I need you to blow on your creations to make sure they’re dry. Wouldn’t want Jessica and Summer to get their hands dirty.”
As the two girls went to work, Shannon stepped back so that she was facing me and made a show of looking at my crotch and saying, “well ladies, I think our friend is enjoying his double blow job.”
And you know, it was a weird sensation, but not a bad one!
But my pleasant reprieve was short lived.
“Okay ladies, you each get ten swats and the winner goes to the reddest cheek!”
With that I was draped over Summer’s lap and the swatting began. Whap! Whap! Whap!
When she was done, I was sure we had a winner! Turns out she was a volleyball player, so she envisioned a volleyball hovering in mid-air ready to be slammed down the other teams throat…ten times.
Next I was transitioned to Jessica’s lap, only this time I was facing the crowd. So this time I saw Shannon hold a red dish towel aloft and then lower it like she was starting a drag race. Whap! Whap! Whap! I would wince and my audience would wince with me and then laugh.
And what was Jessica’s secret weapon? Easy, it turns out she hates to lose.
Shannon pulled four more names out of the bowl and assigned these women the task of inspecting my cheeks.
Two gave it to Summer and two gave it to Jessica.
“Oh my God, a tie,” laughed Shannon. “Thats perfect. I guess we’ll need a tie-breaker.”
“What if they use these?” Said a lady, holding up the two flip flops I had worn in.
“Oooh, I like it,” laughed Shannon, “but only 5 this time, because I have a feeling this one’s gonna hurt,” and with that she slapped one of the flip flops into her palm for dramatic effect.
This time it was more like Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! And Shannon was not wrong.
Round two was not even close. You don’t use flip flops in volleyball, so Summer lost her edge.
And then, just like that it was over…sorta.
Shannon thanked everyone for playing and the crowd drifted out, but not before giving me a hug and in many instances one more spank for luck.
It was agreed that I could not wander back to the lobby completely naked, so a pair of women’s baby blue undies was secured for me. Who donated them will forever remain a mystery.
I went over to grab my room key, but it was not there. There was however a note on a cocktail napkin.
“We dropped your key off at the front desk for safe keeping. Thanks for such a fun night! Tricia, Steph & Yo. xxxooo
And then they drew a picture of a flying penis.

***************************3

The scene at the front desk was deja vu all over again. There was Veronica, a big grin on her face as I approached. A whole new group of people sitting at the tables off the front desk, laughing, pointing, etc, the only real difference is that this time I wore the undies instead of a towel.
“Welcome back, Mr.Johnson, did you have a nice time at Razzles?”
“Can I just get my key,” I asked.
“Oh yes, some nice young ladies said you might come by looking for it. Now, if I can just see some form of ID…”
“You just called me Mr. Johnson,” I said.
“Yes,” she laughed, “I suppose I did. You have really made my night!” And with that, she handed me my key.
“I don’t suppose you have any towels back there,” I said, pointing back into the office.
“Oh probably,” she said, but if I gave you one, it would deprive me of the pleasure of watching that cute little tushy walk away from me.”
“Can’t argue with that,” I admitted and headed over to the bank of elevators, no longer fearful of who might be on the other side. Amazingly, no one was. I walked down the hall to my room only to be greeted by my bag of Fritos and my can of (ugh) Pepsi. For a brief second I thought about getting a newer colder (ugh) Pepsi, but quickly decided against it.
Instead, I opened my door, walked in, stripped off the undies and collapsed onto my bed.

The next thing I knew there was a loud knocking at my door and somebody yelling “housekeeping.” Realizing I was naked and surprised to find that I could still experience shame, I leapt off the bed and scrambled to grab a towel as I called out “just a minute!”
And just in time too. No sooner had I wrapped the towel around my waist when the door flew open and one of the hotel maids walked in and said, “oh good, you are still here.”
“Good?”
“Um, well, I mean” and then she snorted and said, “do you only ever wear a towel?”
“What, what do you mean?” I asked.
“Well it’s just when I watched…um…I mean, are you checking out soon?”
I looked at her for a second and then decided I didn’t want to know. “Yes, I said, very soon.”

I showered and got dressed. It was around 10:00am and I realized that this was the first time I had had clothes on in 23 hours. I was delighted to be approaching the front desk fully clothed, but that feeling of confidence was not to last. There were a few people hanging around in the lobby and they all either smiled at me or snickered as I walked by.
At the front desk was a Veronica clone.
“Good morning Mr. Johnson, are you ready to check out? I’d ask you if you enjoyed your stay, but no doubt you did. On behalf of the staff here at Holiday Inn, we have certainly enjoyed your visit. Are you sure you won’t stay another night?”
“No,” I said, placing my duffle bag on the counter, “I am ready to go and by the way, I did not particularly enjoy my stay.”
“Really,” she said, “because I can think of at least one time when you really, REALLY, seemed to be enjoying yourself. Footsies under the table ring a bell?”
I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. How? Was she there last night?
Suddenly, Jenny, the Veronica clone, yells out “ALAN!”
And just as suddenly a short pudgy guy with greasy hair and a stain on his shirt to match, walks out, popping the last bite of a donut into his mouth.
“Alan,” Jenny says, “this is Mr. Robinson.”
Alan’s eyes go wide and a large grin spreads across his face. “Oh right,” he says, reaching out and shaking my hand, leaving it with sticky donut residue.
“Oh thank you man, you were great last night! I mean, I just happened to be watching the camera on your floor when you ventured out to the snack machines. When I saw those two guys close your door, I just had a feeling that this might be something special. Right away, without even thinking, I hit “record” on all the cameras. I knew corporate would have a shit fit, but I didn’t care! And when you went into the stairwell and lost your towel on 3, I knew I’d made the right decision. I got a great shot of you coming down from the second floor to the front desk, but was a little disappointed with the camera angles over at the breakfast bar area and that got me thinking. And when Veronica told me that she overheard that you were headed over to Razzles, well I sprung into action. I called over and talked to Shannon while I was playing with the cameras in there. One of them was out of commission, so I had to be sure you didn’t end up in that area. We worked out which booth would be best. I wanted you sitting on the end, but alas, we can’t have everything. I love the cameras in there, because they all have zoom lenses, not all our cameras have that you know. And then she called me and told me her plan for the whole spanking thing, which was so cool by the way and we got the chairs staged just right for that. This is my masterpiece man!”
I just stared at him. And he stared back.
Finally, Jenny spoke up. “I’m not sure that he shares your enthusiasm Alan.”
Alan just shrugged. “Yeah I get that, I guess.” With that he headed back into the office behind the front desk. As he disappeared he called out, “give him one for free.”

“Okay,” said Jenny, “let me try and clear this all up for you. Alan is our “all things technical guy.” He takes care of the computers, the cameras and well, I have no idea what else. As he said, he was pretty thrilled last night when he caught a glimpse of you in a towel. You see, all these guys, like Alan at different hotels, burn cd’s or what is it now, dvd’s, of people locked out of their rooms, making out in the elevators, having sex in the stairwells, throwing up in the stairwells, peeing in the stairwells, well, you get the idea. Your little adventure last night is his claim to fame. He was supposed to go home about the time you got back to your room, but he stayed here all night to film and edit your every move, burn it on to discs, and create a cover for it. We’ve been selling them all morning to anyone who asks about last night. So far, we’ve sold about 20 copies.
“Well stop it” I said. “Or I’ll sue you.”
“Yeah,” Jenny sighed, “we thought about that, but if you sue, you almost guarantee everyone will hear about it and be eager to get hold of the video. As it is now, you’re just talking about 20 random people and hotel nerds like Alan.”
And their staff’s I thought, thinking about what the maid had started to say earlier. But Jenny was right, as long as my soon to be ex, my friends, family and co-workers didn’t see it, I could get past this.
“So,” said Jenny, reaching under the counter and pulling out a jewel case with a cover that had “Naked at the Holiday Inn” written on it with a nice picture of me wincing as a pink flip flop makes contact with my ass, “would you like your free copy?”
“I’m going to pass” I said. Certainly I was curious, but no way I wanted that thing anywhere near people I knew!
“Alright then” said Jenny, “if I can just get you to sign here.” At this point the pen flew out of her hand and skittered across the floor. I walked over and picked it up and came back and signed my bill.
“Sorry about that. Thanks for staying at Holiday Inn, do come back and see us.”
I grunted something at her and walked out the sliding doors, confident that this humiliation was now behind me.
But here’s the deal. Here’s what Alan may have seen if he was looking at the lobby camera as I was checking out.
As I turned and bent over to pick up that pen, Jenny was busy unzipping a pocket on my duffle and sliding the jewel case into one of the side pockets. She didn’t have time to zip it back up, but I never noticed.
So, home I went, dropping my bag in the front hall when I got there and not giving it another thought.
I have no idea how Grace found the disc. Sometimes, when she has laundry to do she’ll add my dirty clothes to the load. Maybe she came across it that way. Maybe she went to move my bag and it fell out or maybe she knocked against it and wondered what CD that was.
At any rate, she found it, she played it, called her sister over, played it again and they came up with the idea of sharing the footage of my humiliation to an ever widening circle of friends.

Now it should be bad enough that I had to live this little adventure. And certainly the fact that I had to watch my humiliation with four other women should be the be all and end all of this little adventure, but no, it turns out we are only at the halfway mark! What comes next is blackmail, more humiliation, and reunions with “old friends.”

But that story will have to wait. Right now, thanks to Grace, Kathie, Jill and Sandy, I’m in the stairwell of The Holiday Inn in Raleigh wearing just a towel and wondering what will be waiting for me when I reach the lobby.