HNY24: Soap Opera Strip Poker

[DrWhoFanJ]

Author’s note:

I promise I’ll get round to finishing The Clothes Sale at some point, but first it’s time for another idea I’ve had in mind for a long time!

PROLOGUE

In the closing decade of the 20th century, David Campbell launched an ongoing popular soap opera series called Sweetridge. In recent years, just 10 years after it started, it had seen a drastic fall in popularity owing to the perceived "sameness" and "lack of originality" in its plots. This is the story of the writing team specially hired to reverse the trend, the way they did it, and the success the show and its cast had for many more years to come.



CHAPTER 1: THE PROPOSAL

"So, James and Sarah, what is your proposal to save our show for us?" asked David, the longtime showrunner of Sweetridge, clearly a little bored of having done all these failed interviews with nothing to show for them, but desperately trying not to let it appear on his face.

Sarah started, "We were thinking: What about a strip poker episode—?"

"Done before," David replied, more than a little frustrated.

Unperturbed, she continued, "—broadcast live to the nation—"

"Still waiting for the revolutionary idea." His frustration was only rising now. How would he explain all this wasted effort to the producers‽

"—done entirely for real, and with an extra-special uncensored unedited copy of the full recording as an Easter egg on the DVD release?"

Now David’s curiosity was piqued. "Now there’s something very interesting. Could we get away with it, though?"

James took over the explanation: "We've provisionally run the idea past the publishing house, and they say that, as long as we’re OK with an 18 rating—which I’m sure we would be—, then there’s absolutely nothing wrong about any of it."

Now David was determined to make the idea work. "Well, then, here’s the list of all our current cast members and their recent plotlines. Get to work with writing your brilliant idea, and I’ll get on with writing the necessary contracts and all the other prep to get the whole thing working without issue!"

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 2: THE REHEARSALS

A few weeks later, James and Sarah having completed their scriptwriting duties, the cast convened in their regular rehearsal room, a church hall in the northwest of the city, to start preparations for what the also-present producers had only called a "special bumper-length story".

"Well, now we’re all here, it’s probably time to start distributing the scripts to you all. But first, a small caveat: Any of you is free to withdraw from this storyline for whatever reason, but you will forfeit your right to the doubled royalties for any and all releases of the story, and will also have to make it up to your fellow artistes in whatever way they deem appropriate.

"And now for the scripts. If you would, Mrs. Sinclaire?"

Mrs. Sinclaire, David’s long-trusted right-hand woman and secret partner, handed out a named copy of the script to each actor, a copy that only included their own specific contribution to the episodes and a clear instruction to not discuss anything between pages 15 and 20 with anyone else.

"Any questions? No? Good. Don’t forget: You can come to me anytime if you want to be exempt from this story, but the fact will be reported to your fellow castmembers as soon as you do so. Or, if you just have a question to ask, email either me or Mrs. Sinclaire and we will do our best to answer it for you.

See you all in the studio in three weeks’ time to get this show made!"

[TeenFan]

CHAPTER 2: THE REHEARSALS

and will also have to make it up to your fellow artistes in whatever way they deem appropriate.

handed out a named copy of the script to each actor, a copy that only included their own specific contribution to the episodes and a clear
instruction to not discuss anything between pages 15 and 20 with anyone else.

These two parts are most intriguing.

[DrWhoFanJ]

These two parts are most intriguing.

I thought I’d try some proper foreshadowing for a change, rather than just basic cliffhangers as before.

Glad to see some interest in the story already. The next chapter is just coming, and I plan to always be writing at least a chapter ahead of posting as far as possible.

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 3: THE FIRST COMPLAINTS

It only took a few hours for the calls to start flooding in, mainly from the older actors whose bodies were… past their prime, shall we say?… Oddly, they weren’t so much nervous of exposing themselves on television; no, their biggest concern was for the younger members of the cast, especially John and Julie, the 13-year-old brother and sister, who they felt were "too young to be exposed to such material and events at their tender age".

No matter, thought David. James and Sarah prepared for all such eventualities. Just stick with the agreed lines and it’ll all be fine.

"I understand and acknowledge your concerns. However, it is entirely up to each person to decide for themself whether they wish to be part of this special event, and neither John nor Julie have yet requested a removal. Goodbye."

Of course, the real reason they hadn’t asked to be removed from the events because they themselves also had a crucial role to play in them, so crucial even that their jobs had already been assigned before the rehearsals had even commenced to ensure their cooperation in the debauchery that was to come.



CHAPTER 4: THE DROPOUTS

That’s not to say there weren’t any dropouts, though.

First it was Karen and Arthur (the show’s only truly-married couple who’d included never seeing anyone else naked in their televised vows so were never really in the script at all and were excused punishment for the same reason), then it was Carol and Jack (the 15-year-olds who were already so horny all the time that they felt they "couldn't trust themselves not to go too far"; David quickly saw to that one and made them realise that there was no such thing as too far in this), and finally there was Joe (who simply couldn’t make it to both the extra-long taping and their other regular job; David tried having a word with the employers there to convince them to release him just for that day, but no amount of persuading and arguing would change their minds).


The most interesting dropout by far, though, was Nikki, who steadfastly "refused to participate in such degrading acts as [she] had heard were mentioned in other people's scripts" (and don’t worry, the leakers were duly reprimanded in the traditional way come the next rehearsal session!), and threatened to sue the production company for allowing it to go ahead (again, nothing doing as David had run everything by the company beforehand and gotten complete carte blanche to do whatever it took to save the show).

[TeenFan]

CHAPTER 4: THE DROPOUTS

That’s not to say there weren’t any dropouts, though.

then it was Carol and Jack (the 15-year-olds who were already so horny all the time that they felt they "couldn't trust themselves not to go too far"; David quickly saw to that one and made them realise that there was no such thing as too far in this)

I can't tell for sure if Carol and Jack, the two 15 year olds stayed in the show or dropped out.
I'm hoping they stayed of course...or my name isn't TeenFan.

[dublinjohn]

No chapter 3 or just a typo?

[DrWhoFanJ]

No chapter 3 or just a typo?

Not a typo so much as a losing count (a “mental typo” if you will)!


(Edit: It’s even more annoying than that! What I posted was indeed the Chapter 4 I’d just written, rather than the actual Chapter 3 I was intending to post at that point. This has now been rectified, and both Chapter 3 and Chapter 4 are in my post above this one. Apologies.)

[TeenFan]

You know how people will count using their fingers...and when a baby is born the mom counts the fingers and toes.
Well, I can count up to 21, but I have to take my clothes off first.

[DrWhoFanJ]

CHAPTER 5: THE RATIONALE

Three months after the first rehearsal session, the cast and crew finally reconvened to get their special bonus bumper-length live episode on air across the country.

The episode started ordinarily enough with the usual trials and tribulations found across the soap opera genre, but it was at the 10-minute mark that things started getting interesting.

You see, across recent episodes, the two halves of the town’s population had been equally divided on a singular issue: Should the public decency laws operate on a blanket level across all genders, or should they be divided into men and women separately (with only women being forbidden from toplessness)?

At the end of that Monday’s episode, as a means to finally resolve the debate, once and for all, the mayor of Sweetridge, the voluptuous Ms. Clara Jameson (played by the aforementioned Mrs. Sinclaire — as explicitly written into her and David’s joint contract from the very beginning) announced a town-wide game of strip poker, to be held at the Mayoral Residence that weekend between the two sides, with the winning side getting to decide the outcome of the debate.

Allcomers were welcome, but anyone attending the event would automatically be participating therein as well. (That portion was only included so long-term fans could explain why two certain characters would be absent, namely those played by the absent Joe and Nikki).