A Vengeful Night. (Alternating povs)(new chapter nov23)

[Nikolai]

I really hope this story gets continued someday!

I agree. This story is too good to stop here! I hope the author finds the time in his busy schedule to continue this marvelous story.

Hooked6

Agreed!

Ask and you shall receive..had this cooked up for awhile but had this grand return planned, wanted to post this with the next part(likely the finale) but the delay has been long..I also have started a couple one offs along the way as sometimes starting something fresh is easier..but I set it all up and then when I get to the action..I somehow end up stepping away..long story short I have alot of open stories and a few new ones in the works but time is limited, open you all enjoy the newest part and maybe putting this out will force my hand on completing the finale. Let me know what you think, also minimal proof reading if there's any errors. Thanks for the support.

[imanewb]

Two revenge stories in one night, fun

Loving the twin POV format and Sabrina's visceral reactions too.

A couple of small typos for you near the end...

Much to her dissapointment I look over to Leslie, nodding for her to change the ropes tension once more, and Ally's eyes grow wide as her hands itch towards the sky again

disappointment, inch(?)

Feel free to tell me to bugger off, but as you asked ("as always I'd love to know what you guys think"), as alluded to above, great revenge story - with good characterisation, but it feels a little rushed/unpolished in places... quick example/edit suggestion below:

I spin around to face Ally, raising the White Claw, and smiling wickedly at her as I pour the entire contents of the can over her head. The crowd reacts with enthusiasm as I pour every drop out of the can, and into her hair..the red seltzer soaks her hair and drips down her face, her white T-shirt turns...

I spin around to face Ally, smiling wickedly as I raise the White Claw and slowly dump the entire can over her head. The crowd reacts enthusiastically as every single drop washes over her, soaking her hair and dripping down her face. Her white T-shirt turns...

[Hooked6]

. . . and they let me extract my revenge, watching in shock and awe as I turned back to Sabrina, allowing her to see the items in hand, her eyes grew wider and more scared,
[/i]

Loved this chapter!

Just wanted to point out that in the paragraph above Sabrina is talking - The sentence should read:
" . . . as I turned back to Ally"

Looking forward to the next installment!

Hooked6

[blueballs]

I really hope this story gets continued someday!

I agree. This story is too good to stop here! I hope the author finds the time in his busy schedule to continue this marvelous story.

Hooked6

Agreed!

Ask and you shall receive..had this cooked up for awhile but had this grand return planned, wanted to post this with the next part(likely the finale) but the delay has been long..I also have started a couple one offs along the way as sometimes starting something fresh is easier..but I set it all up and then when I get to the action..I somehow end up stepping away..long story short I have alot of open stories and a few new ones in the works but time is limited, open you all enjoy the newest part and maybe putting this out will force my hand on completing the finale. Let me know what you think, also minimal proof reading if there's any errors. Thanks for the support.

Back with a bang! good to have you back. Looking forward to reading the other works you have cooked up