More Therapy – Chapter 6I want to do what's right. But how can I, when I am faced with only impossible choices? - Author: Margi Preus
The next two days, I stayed at home. It was nerve-racking watching my mom packing up all of my memories and stuffing them into boxes. I didn’t want to watch, and I especially didn’t want to help, even when she made me.
Unfortunately, while I stayed home, Sophie did not. The first night was much the same as Monday night had been. I dreamt that I was chasing Sophie all around my neighborhood. Worse yet, I am pretty sure that Sophie had found some boys to play with. I tried to convince myself that this was only a dream because it gave me the creeps thinking about her being petted again by the boys in my neighborhood again.
When I woke, again I was covered from head to do in dirt and grass stains. I snuck down and did another load of laundry before taking a shower. At least my mom had stopped asking about it. Another day spent rummaging through all of our old things trying to decide what to pack, what to sell and what to donate left me exhausted by the end of it. When I fell asleep Wednesday night, I didn’t dream at all.
Sophie must have been tired too, because when I woke up, I was still outside. This was becoming unbearable. It was just before dawn, around 5:00 am. I was more than three blocks from my house on the edge of a field adjacent to the playground I used to go to when I was a little girl. Immediately, I covered my breasts and vagina with my hands. Not that there was anybody around at this hour, but I was terrified that if I looked down at myself, Sophie would suddenly take over and who knows where she would be off to for the rest of the day?
Somehow, and to this day I have no clue how she did it, but somehow, Sophie managed to shave my pubic hair. Well, she mostly shaved it, there were a few spots she had missed. I’m hoping that she didn’t find those boys again and they were the ones who did it. Last year, Tabitha had let Billy, Josh and Andrew have at it and I still blush thinking about that experience.
I sprinted straight home. Each time a car would pass me, I felt like bolting into the woods. I didn’t let myself though, my mom is sometimes up by 5:30 and I wanted to be in the house and dressed before she saw me. Only four or five cars drove past me as I ran home. And one neighbor, Mr. Fitzpatrick and his pet dog Benny. He told me “Good morning” as I ran by. I don’t know if he even realized I was naked.
D. Crowe had told me to come early. So I took a shower and washed the mud off of myself. My feet and legs were getting bruised from Sophie running around naked the last few nights. On top of that, my whole body ached from sleeping on the ground last night. I hoped that whatever Dr. Crowe had for me included a leash so I could tie Sophie up when I went to bed.
My mom dropped me at Dr. Crowe’s office at 8:00 am. The door was locked, but she opened it when I knocked. “Good morning, Annie.”
“Good morning. Dr. Crowe.” I said.
“Is everything okay? You look like a wreck.” She said, worriedly.
“I am a wreck. I’m packing up everything I own to head to some strange city. Every time I close my eyes, Sophie strips me naked and goes running who knows where? Do you know I woke up naked in a field this morning?” I said in a rush.
Dr. Crowe had sympathy in her eyes, but she said, “Let’s discuss that in a bit. First, we have work to do.”
“Work?” I asked.
She then led me to the reception desk. “Go ahead and prep the patients for the day. This time, put the sign in sticker on their record and then place them in order in front of you.” She told me.
When it came to running her office, I had learned not to argue or ask too many questions. I sat down and did as she asked.
“How long will it take you to remember what order they are in?” She asked.
“I don’t know. There are only eight names, all patients that you have seen before. I think I could probably memorize the specific order in a few minutes. Why?”
“Take your time.” She told me calmly, before going back to her office.
I had no idea why she wanted me to memorize the order, but it didn’t take very long. I created a mnemonic based on the first letters of their last name. Since I was already familiar with all of these patients; that was all I needed to remember them. “Done!” I yelled.
She then returned and blindfolded me. “Can you see?”
“No.” I admitted.
“Good. Can you get me Daniel Hall’s record?” She asked.
Thinking to my mnemonic, I remembered that H was the third letter. I pulled out the record and handed it to her.
“Great!” She exclaimed. She then handed the record back to me and I returned it to the third place in the pile. She took the blindfold off of me and had me follow her to her office.
“Here.” She told me, handing me a small rectangular box. “I had this made for you.”
It sort of looked like a jewelry box, but when I opened it… “Is this a dog collar?” I asked.
“It’s a people collar. The shape is more contoured for the human neck. Do you like it?” She asked.
I had worn a dog collar before. It still gave me nightmares. “Why did you get me THIS?” I asked.
“Read the tag.” She said, gleefully.
She was enjoying this. Why? I pulled the collar out of the box and saw a bronze tag that read, “Patient of Dr. Sheila Crowe, D.O.” Below that was her phone number.
“Don’t you see? If Sophie ever wanders off and gets picked up, the police will call me and I will come collect you. I told you, you won’t get into trouble, so long as you are my patient.” She said with a satisfied smile.
“But I have to wear a collar? Why a collar?” I asked.
“Based on your description of Sophie, I think that this is the one thing she won’t take off immediately.” She told me. “Now quickly. Put on your collar and your blindfold and take off your clothes.”
“My what?” I asked. “Don’t I have to check in the patients today?”
“Yes, that is why I had you memorize the records. That way, if someone comes in early, you don’t accidentally have them sign the wrong record.” She told me.
“I get that, but do I have to be naked?” I asked.
“We discussed this last week. You will be naked when you work here from now on.” She told me. “Don’t you remember?”
“I thought you were talking about my therapy sessions!” I said, my jaw hitting the floor.
“Oh, I didn’t think of those. We have other exercises for your therapy sessions. So this is the best way for you to stretch yourself.” She said. “No more stalling. Get to it.”
With that, I found myself wearing a blindfold, a dog collar (no matter what she calls it, it was still a dog collar), and my tennis shoes. Nothing else.
“What happened to you?” Dr. Crowe asked.
“Sophie plays rough. I am getting a lot of bruises from whatever she does at night.” I said sadly.
“Yea, I see those. But I meant… You shouldn’t try shaving yourself when you are blindfolded.” She told me.
“Oh, Sophie did that too. At least, I hope it was her. I have a feeling some of the neighborhood boys discovered her playing at night and… well, I don’t know what happened, but I woke up like that this morning.” I said.
“Hold still.” Said Dr. Crowe. I then felt her rub some lotion on my pubic area. Nobody had ever touched me there like that before. Well, not this gently anyway. “I always keep a spare razor for emergencies.”
I then felt the razor making smooth strokes down my lower abdomen. “Here, spread your legs a little.” She told me, and emphasized it by pressing my legs apart with her hands. She then proceeded to clean my labia. She was holding the razer with her right hand and pressing my vagina to one side or the other with her left.
Blindfolded, I couldn’t see anything, which made this experience especially erotic. “Are you getting wet?” She asked. “This isn’t sexual, you know. I am just cleaning you up.”
“I’m sorry. Nobody ever did that to me before.” I said.
“Didn’t you say Tabitha shaved you last year?” She asked.
“That was Sophie. I remember it happening, but it was Sophie. She didn’t know better.” I said.
She finished shaving me and then rubbed some more lotion all over the area. My breath was shortening and I found myself holding my breasts and rubbing my nipples. “Stop it!” She ordered. “This is not sexual. Now go drink some water and calm down.”
I did as I was told. I remained wet between my legs for most of the morning though.
As the patients came in, none of them mentioned my nudity. I know that they noticed it. Mostly because the men who had appointments normally signed in and then took a seat while they waited. Today, they all wanted to chat with me. I kept thinking of Dr. Crowe rubbing my pussy. While these guys were talking, I realized that my nipples must have been hard as nails.
After the third patient was called in, I decided that it was time to put an end to this horniness. I had gotten pretty good at finding my way to the bathroom with a blindfold on. Once there, I rinsed my face with cold water. I also splashed some over my body. It helped calm me down some. When I stepped out of the restroom, Josh was there waiting for me.
“Hi Annie.” He said.
“Hi Josh. Do you need to use the bathroom?” I asked.
“No, I saw you in the hall, so I waited for you.” He said. “Did you have fun last night?”
“Fun? What do you mean?” I asked.
“At the park, silly.” He said.
“Josh!” I whisper-yelled. “What happened at the park?”
“What do you mean? You me and Billy… wait? You don’t remember?” He asked.
I felt so humiliated at this point that I wasn’t even sure what I could tell him about Sophie. “Josh, I have to go to work now. Can we talk about this later?”
“Sure. Will you be at the park again tonight?” He asked.
“I… don’t know. But you need to talk to me when I am awa… at home. In the day time. I’m not really myself at night.” I said.
“I… think I understand. Okay, call me then.” He said.
Josh walked my back to my office and I went back to work. By the time we broke for lunch, I was practically trembling.
“Dr. Crowe! Please tell me you can help with this. I bumped into one of my neighborhood boys. They have been playing with Sophie at night! He told me.” I cried.
“He knows about Sophie?” She asked.
“Well, no. He thought it was me. But that’s not the point. Who knows what she is doing with those boys?” I asked. “I’m under so much stress… we are packing for New York. You still haven’t told me what the plan is so I don’t have to go.”
“Annie, calm down. Okay, I’ll tell you what you need to do.” She said. “When does your father return from Syracuse?”
“A week from Monday.” I said. “But we’ll be all packed by then, so it will be too late!”
“Okay, the day he returns. When you take your shower, go ahead and open your eyes.” She told me.
“Open my eyes? You mean? But I might turn into Sophie. I could run out of the house in broad daylight! What happens if I get arrested?” She asked.
“What we want to happen, is for you to run out in broad daylight AND get arrested. They will call me and I will have you placed, temporarily, in an institution.” She said. “I’ll explain to your family that you need my supervision for a while. They can move to New York, and you will remain under my care.”
“In an institution? I don’t want to live in an institution!” I yelled.
“It’s just for a few days, until we can find a place to settle you.” She said.
“Why can’t I just stay with you?” I asked.
Dr. Crowe fell silent. With the blindfold, I really couldn’t see what she was doing, or what expression she had when I mentioned it, but after a bit she said, “That will probably work too. But you need to be institutionalized first, or none of this can happen.”
I was in shock. I wanted an answer that didn’t involve more humiliation, and this was more humiliation times ten!
At the end of the day, after I had gotten dressed, Dr. Crowe handed me a small stack of books. “What are these for?” I asked.
“These are books we give to people who are going blind. They help you get used to functioning without eyesight. Read these in your spare time, it should help you navigate better when you need to be naked at home.” She told me. “Here, you might as well take this as well.” She said, handing me the blindfold. You’ll want to practice.
I begrudgingly thanked her, I was still upset about her suggestion that I get institutionalized right as my dad is expecting to be on the road. There had to be a better way. I didn’t know what it was, but it had to exist.
When I got into my mom’s car, she saw everything I was carrying. She also could see how upset I was by the glower look on my face. All she said was, “Are you wearing a dog collar?”