I'm hoping to get some more feedback and more criticism for my stories. I'd really like to know what you like about them. What you hate. What you think is dumb. What you think is hot. Anything and everything!
No holds barred! Say whatever you want. Don't hold back. But please, say something.
Criticize my stories
- superevil7
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- SDS
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Re: Criticize my stories
To start ... I really love your stories. I read most of them previously on another site. Your a great author. The laundry mishap at the moment is wonderful.
These below notes are 100% my opinion and taste related so take them with a pinch of salt.
- In longer stories I much prefer escalation ... let the girls get more and more embarrassed... plenty of embarrassed about underwear first... a slow build before total humiliation.
- On a similar note personally I dislike a lot of stories that go on too long after already doing the full on public shame early. Once a character is used to or put through the same thing again and again I would have just rather had a new story.
- I much prefer bullied, shamed or humiliated girls to ones that like it and come to accept their nudity too soon. 'Dare me' balances this perfectly with a character really wanting dares but breaks down and is still very humiliated when pushed past her limit as an example.
- I prefer blackmail to mind control as I like a reluctant heroine rather than one who's altered into liking / doing somthing.
But like I said... my personal opinions ... also your stories often blend into a different style and is often a set up for mutual play and satisfaction.
Keep on writing your one of the authors I most look forward to!
These below notes are 100% my opinion and taste related so take them with a pinch of salt.
- In longer stories I much prefer escalation ... let the girls get more and more embarrassed... plenty of embarrassed about underwear first... a slow build before total humiliation.
- On a similar note personally I dislike a lot of stories that go on too long after already doing the full on public shame early. Once a character is used to or put through the same thing again and again I would have just rather had a new story.
- I much prefer bullied, shamed or humiliated girls to ones that like it and come to accept their nudity too soon. 'Dare me' balances this perfectly with a character really wanting dares but breaks down and is still very humiliated when pushed past her limit as an example.
- I prefer blackmail to mind control as I like a reluctant heroine rather than one who's altered into liking / doing somthing.
But like I said... my personal opinions ... also your stories often blend into a different style and is often a set up for mutual play and satisfaction.
Keep on writing your one of the authors I most look forward to!
- superevil7
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Re: Criticize my stories
Thank you. I'm happy for your response and really happy to hear that!
No worries. I want the honesty, brutal or not. How am I supposed to get better if I don't hear other's criticism? I'd really like other people to enjoy my stories, because if I was just writing for myself I might as well keep them to myself. Right?
This is certainly something I've been trying to get better at. A lot of the time in my older stories I did like to rush into things. Hitting the right balance between exposition and action can be difficult, and I don't want people getting bored before they even get to the good stuff. That thought is probably the biggest reason I tended to rush through things in the past.
This is probably the first part where those personal preferences come in. I've never been much into tease or anticipation. Imagining a girl in her underwear does nothing for me. To me it's like, eh, she's still covered, probably more so than when she is at the beach. Give me some full nudity.
But I respect your opinion and I will take it into consideration.
That's understandable. The theme is supposed to be embarrassment after all. Personally I like it when my characters overcome their situation, and it turns out to be not so bad as they initially thought. But it makes sense to hold that off until near the end of the story.SDS wrote: ↑Sat Dec 24, 2022 9:04 am - On a similar note personally I dislike a lot of stories that go on too long after already doing the full on public shame early. Once a character is used to or put through the same thing again and again I would have just rather had a new story.
- I much prefer bullied, shamed or humiliated girls to ones that like it and come to accept their nudity too soon. 'Dare me' balances this perfectly with a character really wanting dares but breaks down and is still very humiliated when pushed past her limit as an example.
This one I share your preference. Smartwatch, and to a small extent New Rules as well, are really the only stories of mine that contain mind control. But none of my other stories do.
I will add, one of my personal preferences, is having an authority forcing a character into the nude.
- Executionus
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Re: Criticize my stories
I've said most of my feedback in PMs in the past, but basically you're a top tier writer for a variety of reasons. Your characterizations and situations are always well done.
My main disconnect is that I'm interested in adrenaline spikes and moments of high tension, where your stories usually focus on normalizing female nudity until everyone involved is used to it. But that's mostly a taste issue.
I've also mentioned to you before in previous messages that some stories (especially New Rules) have a problem with sameness, where most of the girls ordered to strip comply easier than they likely should, followed by mimicking many of each other's reactions. You've already been working on fixing that issue though.
Always looking forward to more from you, even if lately I've been too tired from Christmas stuff for much reading and I've got about 15 unread stories on here still.
My main disconnect is that I'm interested in adrenaline spikes and moments of high tension, where your stories usually focus on normalizing female nudity until everyone involved is used to it. But that's mostly a taste issue.
I've also mentioned to you before in previous messages that some stories (especially New Rules) have a problem with sameness, where most of the girls ordered to strip comply easier than they likely should, followed by mimicking many of each other's reactions. You've already been working on fixing that issue though.
Always looking forward to more from you, even if lately I've been too tired from Christmas stuff for much reading and I've got about 15 unread stories on here still.
Executionus Complete Story Archive
Other Old Story Archives: Beach Club, Dreambook Board, HUGE Mega archive.
Other Old Story Archives: Beach Club, Dreambook Board, HUGE Mega archive.
- superevil7
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Re: Criticize my stories
Thanks Executionus! That's really amazing to hear. It's hard for me to think so highly of my writing, but if you say soExecutionus wrote: ↑Sat Dec 24, 2022 7:40 pm I've said most of my feedback in PMs in the past, but basically you're a top tier writer for a variety of reasons. Your characterizations and situations are always well done.
That was actually one of the things I was hoping to get feedback on. Characterization, plot points, and believably, more so than personal preferences and tastes. I think everyone has their own idea of what they want out of these types of stories, and not everyone is going to align, but I do think the other things are what we can comment and critique each other on more openly.
Like your example here:
Very valuable advice to me. Thank youI've also mentioned to you before in previous messages that some stories (especially New Rules) have a problem with sameness, where most of the girls ordered to strip comply easier than they likely should, followed by mimicking many of each other's reactions. You've already been working on fixing that issue though.
And thank you again! No worries if you can't read any of my stuff right away. Whenever you get around to it is ok by me.Executionus wrote: ↑Sat Dec 24, 2022 7:40 pm Always looking forward to more from you, even if lately I've been too tired from Christmas stuff for much reading and I've got about 15 unread stories on here still.
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Re: Criticize my stories
Hey, I just read over a couple of your stories. I was reading more to give feedback than pleasure -- the age range of these stories is young for me, but that's a matter of taste. My feedback is more about the writing and not the content.
To echo others here, I think your narration, story flow, and description are quite good. I think you have a strong grasp on utilizing third person perspective. But one thing I did notice is that the dialogue doesn't always flow as well as the narration. Sometimes, conversations between your characters come off as a bit expository, and other times, I feel as though a character wouldn't talk to their parents that way, or vice versa. I think this happens to all writers sometimes. It happens to me, too. For me personally, I like to try saying dialogue out loud and see if it sounds like something someone would actually say. And sometimes, I close my eyes and try to imagine the characters acting out the scene to make things feel more authentic.
At the end of the day, you're a great writer, and I hope you know that. And remember, this is just one person's opinion. Sometimes, people give feedback out that I personally disagree with -- remember, it's not about pleasing other people, but taking the feedback and deciding if you agree with it. They're your stories. Don't ever let anyone take away your style or your voice.
To echo others here, I think your narration, story flow, and description are quite good. I think you have a strong grasp on utilizing third person perspective. But one thing I did notice is that the dialogue doesn't always flow as well as the narration. Sometimes, conversations between your characters come off as a bit expository, and other times, I feel as though a character wouldn't talk to their parents that way, or vice versa. I think this happens to all writers sometimes. It happens to me, too. For me personally, I like to try saying dialogue out loud and see if it sounds like something someone would actually say. And sometimes, I close my eyes and try to imagine the characters acting out the scene to make things feel more authentic.
At the end of the day, you're a great writer, and I hope you know that. And remember, this is just one person's opinion. Sometimes, people give feedback out that I personally disagree with -- remember, it's not about pleasing other people, but taking the feedback and deciding if you agree with it. They're your stories. Don't ever let anyone take away your style or your voice.
See my collection of stories here: MissAriel's Story Archive
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Re: Criticize my stories
I already read your stories some months ago, they are all interesting and in my opinion you should keep writing. You also chose themes that appeal to me like medical exam, stop time, etc
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