Lucky AF I didn’t get arrested…ENM

[Drax6119]

It was a Sunday night in late May of 1978; both my parents were out of town at a convention for my dad‘s work until the next Friday.

I had been naked in our backyard before, as I got home from school well before mom got home from work, and dad was most often out of town, as he traveled frequently for work.
I was bored with the “backyard streaks“, and decided to seriously up the game.

So, after scouting the neighborhood, I taped the spare house key to the top of the fence post of a neighbor about 1/2 a block away (Would’ve been about 200 yards distance, one way).

My plan was to wait until midnight, strip off, and step out the front door, with it set to lock behind me, so I was committed.
Once that happened, I had to go that half block stark naked, retrieve the key, and go back that same distance so I could get back in the house. That whole distance, there was nothing to really hide behind, so my only cover was darkness.

So midnight arrived, and I was also horny AF, as I was having fantasies of a particular neighbor girl seeing me (as it happened, her house was directly across the street from where I stashed the key), so I decided I’d give her a REAL show. Accordingly, I stroked my naked cock to full hardness (Being 16, that didn’t take much – my biggest problem was not cumming), and stepped out, hearing the lock click behind me.

So, there I was, locked out of my house bare-ass naked to the world, with my penis hard as a rock & demanding attention. The sane part of my mind was screaming “WTF?!? Get your ass back inside!”, but my boner was firmly in control, so I started on course to get the key, without which I was stuck, anyway.

So, as I’m walking along, my cock was swinging & bobbing, getting harder almost by the step, and I was beginning to regret having promised myself I wouldn’t let myself cum until I was back inside…
By the time I got to the key, I was THROBBING. You know how you get to a point where you just HAVE to touch yourself?

I mean, I don’t know exactly how that feels for girls, but the head of my cock felt like it was about twice its normal size.
So I said to myself, “fuck it; I’ll probably be hard again by the time I get back to the house, anyway”, leaned against the fence, and rubbed one out right there in the wide open, with darkness as my only shield.

Now, being 16, I had not yet experienced the phenomenon known as “post-nut clarity”…until right then.

As I came down off the orgasm, my rational brain reasserted itself & realized:
(1) I was absolutely naked
(2) Not only was I absolutely naked, my cock was still rather hard, with cum still slowly dripping
(3) Not only was I absolutely naked with cum dripping from a still-hard penis, I was in a completely exposed position where half -2/3 of the neighborhood could see every square inch of naked me by simply looking out the window. And my nearest clothing was about 200yd away, behind a locked door.

And OH FUCK SHIT FUCKIING HELL…

THERE WAS A CAR COMING!

I literally had a couple of seconds to make up my mind what to do. Making a run for it was out of the question; the car was coming from the direction of my house, and they’d have seen me full frontal, face & package for at least 10 seconds before I could even REACH my front door, much less unlock & open it. (Turns out it would have been an even bigger disaster than I thought at that moment to choose that option, for reasons I’ll get to shortly.)

Turning my front to the fence was no better, as I was still very obviously naked, and given the fact that I was the only tall redheaded guy within a half a mile of where I lived, My identity would not have stayed a secret for long.

No, my only prayer was a low shrub hedge, about maybe 1 1/2 feet high, between the sidewalk and the road. I could lay flat, I hoped, and be hidden from the road; just had to pray whoever was in that car wasn’t paying terribly close attention down the road a couple hundred yards. So I dove behind that shrub hedge, and lay flat on my belly – thankfully, my dick had shrunk back down to normal due to panic, otherwise that might’ve been very painful… anyway, I’m sure you have immediately recognized the catastrophic error I had just made.

So, just a recap:
I am laying butt naked on my belly on the sidewalk just after midnight on a Sunday night, desperately trying to hide from a passing car, with my nearest clothing about 200yd away behind a locked door.
Speaking of which… In my panic to get under SOME kind of cover, I had utterly neglected to grab that house key that I had taped to the top of the fence post, and now, there was no chance of doing it without being seen.
The worst case scenario began playing itself out as I heard that the car was not passing, but in fact slowing down and parking…
“Oh, fuck!“, I thought, “this is it; my life is over.“ I didn’t know if it was actually possible to die of humiliation, but I had the sick feeling I was about to find out.

I didn’t dare move, or make a sound.

Our neighborhood was quiet enough at night to where a hiccup would be damn near like thunder, and it was Sunday night/Monday morning, with all SENSIBLE people home in bed. If I’d so much as belched, the jig would have been up.

I noticed there was a small hole in the hedge a few inches from me, so I slid towards it, to see who was about to catch me.

Jesus H Motherfucking Christ on a Goddamned pogo stick.

Remember that neighbor girl who I had fantasized about seeing me? Well, her name was Jennifer, but everybody called her Jen. She was a 5’9” mantrap of a blonde with legs up to her neck, an ass that could have stopped airplanes in midair, and, IIRC, she was just about a C cup up top. She was a Freshman, a year behind me. She had an older sister, Laura, who was a senior, and only *slightly* less attractive, IMO, but was a real goody two shoes.

Why, you might ask, do I bring them up?
Because, guess who got out of that car that had just parked across the street not 40 feet from where I am trying desperately not to be seen stark naked? When making my brilliant plan, I figured, since I was going to give Jen a “real show”, I’ll be naked & hard across from her house when I turn back.
Yeah, forethought was not among my attributes at 16.

Now, it was bad enough that I was one sneeze away from utterly humiliating myself in front of the two hottest girls in the neighborhood. But, as any 16-year-old boy will tell you, his penis is an extraordinarily treacherous organ that will absolutely misbehave at the worst possible time. Mine certainly did.

First, it was trapped between my abdomen and the pavement and I was breathing very fast and shallow, trying not to make a sound, so it was getting stimulus that way; it was already starting to get ideas even before I heard Jen’s voice, and then it definitely started growing. I was fully hard almost instantly, even before I saw what they were wearing.

They were in matching outfits, which consisted of tight fitting tank tops and daisy dukes (Think like hooter girl outfits, but without the logo). They *both* looked good enough to eat, which didn’t do my rapidly expanding penis any favors, ESPECIALLY when Jen bent over to get something from the back seat & her shorts rode up that magnificent ass…

At that particular moment in time, World War III was raging between my ears. Fighting for control of my actions on the one hand was a ragingly throbbing boner that badly wanted to say a big “hello” to Jen; on the other was my rational brain realizing exactly how humiliating this situation was; not only was I a perv who liked to show off his junk, I was an even creepier kind of perv spying on girls while I was naked and getting a massive hard-on in the process.

After what seemed like an eternity of humiliating, penis-throbbing torture, (which was probably only about five minutes in the real world) the girls went inside. I waited a little bit, figuring, the way my luck had gone, the second I stood up, Laura would come back out, and I’d be toast (I knew Jen had a little bit of a wild side, so there was at *least* a small chance she wouldn’t rat me out). I waited, with my head panicking & my naked cock insisting on attention, listening intently. Hearing nothing, I popped my head up; the coast was clear! I grabbed the key & hot-footed it back to the house, penis still diamond. Tried to cover up with my hands, but that’s damn difficult with a raging boner…
Had to rub out two before I could sleep.

[NudeBaG]

Amazing!
Every one is different.
Wonder what would have happened if they’d caught you.

[Drax6119]

We never got together in high school. I figured there was no way in hell a girl that attractive didn’t have guys swarming all over her, and I didn’t have anywhere near the self-confidence then that I do now, so I wrote her off as a “might have been nice“.
But… Fast forward to a high school reunion in 2005… We kind of got off by ourselves over some drinks, and I was astonished to find out that she had had just as thorough a case of the hots for me as I did for her, but she’d made the same wrong assumption about me as I did about her.
After we had both had a few, she confessed that she used to fantasize about me walking in on her in the shower.
So I told her an edited version of the OP.
Her response to it was… “My God, if I had any idea about that, I would’ve shooed Laura in the house immediately & told her to take the shower she was wanting, and I’d finish out here… And then I would’ve come across the street & taken advantage of you.”

And she had gotten VERY close, with her hands on my upper thighs as she said that. Honestly, if we hadn’t both been married, I think we would have fucked like rabbits that night.